you might get frustrated right now because you haven't eaten and your blood
Sugar's low but I'm going to be I'm going to use the echo Charles approach
of a that's weakness right it's weakness for me to be getting angry its weak for
me to be complaining because I'm honest the tail end of a 72-hour fast that's
just weakness not gonna complain what are you talking about you don't need to
eat for 30 days people can go 30 days without eating my daughter when she was
cutting weight for wrestling this past season she would say that she'd say you
know I'd be getting today you know dad I would get really hungry and then I just
think people can live for 30 days without eating I think I can make it
through the next eight hours come on not that big of a deal there's
no reason to get hangry that's just an excuse don't do it
carry on with your airborne self I'll see you know I said this before there's
a difference between how you feel and then how you behave
you know trill can get hangry on the inside but once you start behaving like
you just do man get angry on the inside yeah Trading Places they'll be good like
that yeah very good yeah actually now that I
think about it when I was doing deployments captain attorney back in the
day in the 90s we watched there was nothing to do on a ship we have an
internet no one wrote us letters no one cared about us there's no no all we did
was play spades and watch movies and with movies we watch for on videotape
this is darker than Jay only four cds before netflix you had video taping we
had a crate full of videos and so we were watching the same you know cheesy
movies over and over and over again probably Trading Places was one of them
so if you go got it if you were to go back further in the movies you're not
because because what am i five years older than you yeah that's it five or
six years yeah so I'm just five or six years ahead of you on movies so there's
a whole bunch of cheesy movies that I actually know about that you might not
know about yeah they're crazy were getting an overlap trailer bassist
really police is iconic in Turkey the man
oh yeah but hangry right karate man we don't inside tang I like that word
hangry by the way that's in fun plenty but that implies that you're kind
of like oh I'm hangry you know like like you're expressing yourself yeah you know
don't express yourself yeah your emotions in keep it on the edge and act
like a winner you can feel like a loser on the inside yeah I can feel hangry but
act like don't act like that'll ever let other people see you be all give a dick
like that oh yeah I haven't eaten for days whatever whatever you know what you
hear this joke you just haven't eaten six days yeah no big deal yeah I'm gonna
go change a jitter what are you doing yeah nothing bill so yeah what do you
want to be around being weak so rude I'll be over here doing something else
yeah yeah so yeah separate separate your feeling and your behavior and typically
one it's the any no you even have a word for yeah you did not like we're wrapped
up on you and I had it I had no control over it no you identified it gave it a
name everything and if I mean if my experience serves me a lot of times when
people say like all I have I get hangry or I'm PMSing or whatever it's to
explain their common behavior meaning they just let it go they embrace that's
how it's actually that's how it is for them yeah kind of thing please forgive
me I'm hangry yeah yeah I get like that sometimes when I get about and you just
let it go you know be like that on inside be good on the outside
separate the feelings versus behavior next question stifle your emotions
inside you know they say like if you get like emotions you gotta like let it out
but you tell or whatever yeah I guess as it turns out that's not true
no because if you internet you know how you say stifle oh well the reason I kind
of say that with sarcasm is because I think that the for instance yeah you
like you're saying people these days they say oh yeah
emotions out you gotta let your emotions out you got if you got cry cry if you
and I understand where that's coming from and you can get to a point as a
person if there's something that's really traumatic that's happening and
all you do is hold it in and I've seen guys get destroyed over that because
they're not expressing the emotions that they have but that's at a big level
right at a daily level no you don't express those things you keep them
inside that's what I say it like that like I'm feeling kind of sarcastically I
think I'm being serious yeah you know it just don't let your emotions out and
into the world yeah keep them for yourself own them
yeah keep them for yourself don't share them with other people if you don't have
to yeah now again people are gonna freak out that I'm saying this don't bury your
emotions because that what happens when you bury your when you've got something
really traumatic that you bury then it eats you apart and I've talked about
that I mean talking about things that you go through in life and and
expressing those feelings if you have matter that's good but what we're
talking about is not that what we're talking about is daily emotions little
ups and downs little tick marks on your Richter scale we're not talking about an
eight point eight on the Richter scale right we're talking about just like
little twos yeah and when you express the twos and threes on the Richter scale
out to people you just look unstable angry that's a - yeah that's - yeah
overall and and not to split hairs or nothing but overall it's it's more about
dealing with your emotions quote-unquote so yeah if you if you it's a good
conducive way to deal with your emotions is to let them out and they look at
different kinds of emotions like if you're sad if something's eating you up
on the inside because of sadness or whatever and it's conducive to your
recovery development whatever to express yeah those emotions then yes but if
you're hangry and you lose your temper on your kit that's not good you're not
dealing your emotions correctly so in strike on bullshit but it's not it
really it is stifling them but before you stifle them you're identifying
are like oh hey I'm hangry okay I identified that I'm gonna separate
feelings from behavior that's dealing with your emotions right there that's
you yeah but it's a great point that often times expressing your emotions to
the world doesn't improve your situation or your position at all correct in fact
I would say that most of the time expressing your emotions to the world
sets you back and that is why I vote in many cases just stifle your emotions
keep them in ya don't let other people see did you put your cards on the table
right you put your emotional cards on the table now you can't gamble anymore
you can't you're not in the game anymore the person knows what's going on maybe
you're giving it to them you're not gonna know what I'm thinking you're
gonna think I'm just everything's cool with me yeah we're training jiu-jitsu
right if I'm getting frustrated and I show that to you but what does that do
you're getting also you you just go level up you think I gotta be frustrated
when I get home I'm working this is working against them if I'm just saying
the same face all the time which is what I do primarily hey same face all the
time just work you know move in the same way when you do get me I forget what you
say when you get me to react to something good
recognize the urgency yeah you say so I recognize a little urgency there and I
always go damn I don't want to recognize I'd rather just have you just past my
guard and yours is there and we just sit there like it's no big deal they're not
human didn't me get all panicky where they don't you level up a little bit
mm-hmm and that's the same thing with life right every time you express these
big emotions to your boss or to your team you express these big emotions to
your team they see it all your cards don't let them see all your cards is
this manipulating kind of right this is one of those things where people think
oh transparency we hear that all the time these days transparency it's got to
be transmitted no actually you don't yeah not with that you don't have to be
transparent all the time yeah you have to win the game you know what does the
football coach go out and Candace playbook to the other football team know
you've got to win the game typically not and that's not how you win the game so
are we you know what we're doing playing chess
it's emotional chest you're playing with other human beings you want to win now
if you're winning so I can take advantage of you so I can manipulate you
and get something from you that you don't want to give me that's bad
I'm not talking about doing that but if what I'm doing is keeping my calm so
that instead of escalating an argument with you I'm getting you to see it from
my perspective just by remaining calm that's what we're talking about here you
know lave told that story the other day where he tells the story locked it was a
hilarious story where I came in we didn't have a chance to talk to each
other as he was planning this big operation and I come in 10 minutes
before the operation I said hey let me let me see what you're doing and he kind
of shows me on a map hey we're gonna go here here near I was like hey you should
do this instead and he was like can we leave in ten minutes and I said man but
just think about it he goes you know what you cancel yeah he was all mad
right and and you know he's like and Jocko kind of like laughed at me I
didn't laugh at him like a Lincoln like a jerk you know but I was like hey
listen just think about what I'm saying right now but that's that's an example
right I didn't show my emotions which was which would be more like dude are
you serious right now you're gonna cancel an OP because we
have a difference of opinion just think about what you I didn't do that all the
game and I get it everyone stressed out right now we gotta leave on this thing
quickly think about what I'm saying they'll look at this is all I'm saying
we could execute this in a better way so that's what I'm talking about
does that make me manipulative no it doesn't make me manipulative it makes us
as a team do a better job and as soon as Lafe saw that he's like de-escalated
himself he was good to go we move on yes so that's what I'm talking about stifle
your emotions at all times but you know and just to address that though for real
when you do see the big emotional impactful things in someone's life and
they don't express them that absolutely is bad okay where you see this a lot is
with kids you know kids teens where they there something bothering them and they
don't they hold it in hold it in because they don't have anybody to talk to that
talk to mom and dad because mom and dad don't get it their friends are the
people that they're pissed off and the pissed off at anyway so they can't tell
them what's going on so they sit there and they harbor a lot of that anger and
that can be that can be very problematic and it goes through all through you know
adults as well and in you know at work sometimes people will they got problems
at home so they can't talk to their wife because that's what the problem was they
can't talk to the husband because that's the source of the problem but then they
get to work and they don't want to look like the person that's got problems at
all so I'm not going to say anything there either and the next thing you do
what are they doing they're trying to escape those problems how are they doing
it instead of instead of letting those problems out and talk to something about
them they're having a you know having a drink in the afternoon
getting on the alcohol whatever they're doing something that's negative and
they're not moving forward at all so those are not the kind of feelings that
in emotions that you want to subdue or stifle but these little ones and twos
and threes on the Richter scale being angry get-get-get control those things
and scary for them stifling certain emotions ones and twos is a good way to
deal with them because one means because they're usually real spontaneous
emotions anyway I don't and Dell and zil they don't have the power right to
sustain yes they're just going to they're there and they just fade away
that's cool that's why yes and then over time now you're good at dealing with
them in that way when you get hangry and you've been for one year you've been
dealing with it by just ignoring it you know in regards to behavior just not
acting on it now you're good at doing that not automatic now you don't get you
don't act angry anymore