- Anyone who says, "oh no, avocado's disgusting,
it doesn't taste of anything",
you're obviously just not doing it right.
Hello!
I'm Mae Muller,
and this is my brother Sam
- The Cushty Chef.
- Muller, the Cushty Chef.
He is here to give me some moral support
and make sure I don't burn the house down
while we make
some poached eggs,
we going to do a bit of bacon,
avocado,
like a breakfast vibe.
I'm gonna talk you through what we do.
- Guac first,
smashed avocado.
- Smashed avo, all right.
- And then we'll get on with the good stuff.
- Okay, so what I'm doing,
tell me if I'm doing this wrong.
(knife clink)
You've got your avo here,
a bit messy
and I'm gonna scoop it out.
So, Sam has worked in a restaurant as a chef
and he's done all that business
and I literally don't know how to cook anything.
So--
- Started from the bottom.
- Started from the bottom,
now we're here.
I like to put coriander in my avocado,
but they didn't have any at the shop
and we've gotta work with what we got.
Also, by the way,
we have both washed our hands.
(ding)
- Always.
You know, always when you're cooking,
but especially in this current climate,
you what I'm saying?
I'm gonna get a fork
and I'm just gonna mash a little bit
(fork clinking)
and then after I--
- You don't want to over smash it.
- No, not over smash it.
Just, you know,
so it's not big lumps.
But you don't want it to be so quite as guac.
- Splash of olive oil.
- Splash of olive oil,
he says.
(clap) Look,
brand new olive oil for you.
(clink)
Is this that?
- Yeah, that's good.
- Oh, he's salt baeing it.
Salt bae it up, go on.
Oh, we need pepper.
Have we got pepper?
- Right there.
- He's found it, he's found it.
Go on then.
You gotta have some lemon as well.
- There you go.
- Wow, you rolled the lemon.
- Yeah.
- What does that do?
- It gets it nice and juicy.
- Nice and juicy?
Oh, we love that. (false guitar string)
- Give that a little splash.
(chop)
- Sam said that he thought that maybe lime,
but then I argued,
I think lemon is a bit more of a breakfasty vibe, so...
- She's the popstar,
so she wins. (chimes)
- Give you a litte...
Anyone who says, "oh no, avocado's disgusting,
it doesn't taste of anything",
you're obviously just not doing it right.
(buzz)
I'm planning on poaching the egg,
I've never poached an egg in my life.
- I have.
- He has.
Scrambled egg is my vibe, (claps)
but that's easy, so...
- I'll teach you how to poach.
- Teach me how to poach,
♪ Teach me, teach me how to poach, ey ♪
Low heat on the bacon, yeah?
To start off.
- Yeah we'll go for a six.
- A six.
Six out of nine,
that's healthy, that's all right.
So, look at that,
is that all right, is that good?
- Yeah, that's it.
That's quite a lot.
Yeah, that's good.
Now you leave that, yeah, just leave that.
- Leave it?
- Leave it to get hot.
- He's telling me to leave it,
we're gonna leave it.
All right, I'm gonna put the bacon in.
(clap)
I should've got like, a strip of bacon,
but I didn't,
'cause I didn't really,
like whatever, it's bacon, innit?
But it's lovely, smoked bacon
from the local butcher.
Shout out.
- You're gonna just place it in.
(sizzle)
Oh yeah, you can hear that sizzle already.
(sizzling)
Banging.
- To go with this egg,
we're gonna do this:
now, this is when I'm gonna go a bit chefy with her.
- He's gonna go chefy.
I'm gonna get the box now.
(sizzling)
- That bacon is sounding naughty.
(popping)
- [Mae] Is it sizzling? (sizzling)
- Now.
Cutting this into cheeky quarters,
because I'm gonna take the jelly goodness,
which is inside,
I'm gonna remove that,
so just left with basically
the outer layer of the tommy-ato.
And then,
we're just gonna dice
it up.
- ♪ Dice it up. ♪
♪ Dice it up. ♪
♪ Dice it up, ey. ♪
♪ Ey. ♪
- Do you wanna check on your bacon?
(chop)
(sizzling)
- Check on your bacon.
- Yeah.
- Let's get this water on.
- Oh no, it's egg time.
I'm very worried about this egg situation.
- Don't you worry about it,
I've got it under control.
Salt,
pepper,
(moan)
oil,
- Yeah? - tomatoes,
- Yeah?
He's making sort of like a tomato salsa-y vibe
for the eggs.
- You might think it's not gonna work,
but when it's plated up,
woohoo, no idea. - Hello, Minnie.
Minnie's here.
Say hello
to the people.
Washing my hands, don't worry!
(sizzling) Oh yeah, baby.
- I'm gonna spice it out with some chilly powder.
(sizzling)
- Oh,
cheeky.
This is a nice little tomato vibe,
we've got going on.
This is a big moment.
- I know.
Pop some salt
into the water.
Right, now get your spoon.
Wait, get your spoon
and you gotta spin it.
Spin it.
Just spin it loads like that,
now take the spoon out,
crack
and go.
(bubbling) (cracking)
Crack and go.
No, not too high.
Yeah, now keep it spinning.
(groan) - I think I've ruined it.
Was that meant to happen?
- Crack the other one,
but don't crack it too high.
- I get you now.
Oh God.
- I'm taking over here.
(sizzling)
- Is that what it's meant to look like?
- Just look.
Wait, yeah.
I might have saved it. (sizzle)
- Yeah?
- I might have saved it.
You see, you gotta do it with love?
You see that, how I'm coating it around.
- Well, you didn't tell me that.
Do you know what it looks like?
It looks like the Death Eaters in Harry Potter.
All right, so we're gonna
pop that down.
This looks a bit of a mess,
but that's fine.
That's very on brand.
- Eggs coming out.
- Eggs coming out?
They don't look very good.
- No, they don't.
'Cause you cracked it at about
ten meters above the pan.
- Well, you didn't tell me
and that's what we weren't meant to do.
Working with your brother,
this is what happens,
you know what I mean?
- Mine is that one there,
hers is that. (laughing)
Hers is that.
- What is happening there?
- It's got a membrane (mumble)
That, I managed to save,
but that's not looking too good.
(laughing)
- You plate it up.
You're good at presentation and stuff.
- Okay well, we can do it together, right?
Yeah?
Clear the deck, it's always good.
- This is exciting.
And the bacon looks crispy.
Shall I take that off now?
Turn it off?
- Yeah, that will carry on cooking.
- Oh yeah, baby.
See that's how I like my bacon.
I don't like any fat,
like all rubbery
and jiggly.
No, that ain't for me.
- You don't want that.
- That ain't right.
But that lovely-- look at that.
- Oil,
on the base. - Oil.
Oh, he's getting the avo.
That's the bit that I'm most excited about,
to be honest.
- A nice bit of height.
- See, I like mine a bit flatter.
- I like mine with a bit of height.
- Can I use your egg?
- No!
(chuckling)
- Some people might think that the bacon looks burnt,
but I think that that looks perfect to me.
See, look that's not that bad.
It's like a bit of a...
Mine looks lovely!
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
(gasp)
Wow.
- Do whatever you want
you can either put it on top, - Salsa.
- I've gone like that on the side.
- I'm copying you.
Actually I do want a little bit of it on the top as well,
like in that little pocket there.
Look at it.
Aw, she's so cute.
I'm putting chili flakes on mine,
'cause I'm a fancy hoe.
- Done.
- I actually think mine looks better,
no lie.
- I think yours does, actually.
(laughing)
Look at that.
- Look, which one is better, 'kay?
Leave a comment.
Who did it better?
Me or Sam?
Now, don't judge me, okay?
I like a bit of ketchup in my life.
Look, it's brand spanking new.
Now,
for the moment of truth.
Are we ready?
- [Sam] Pop it.
(squelch)
- Oh!
The explosion is real.
(gasp)
- [Sam] Gotta get it in your mouth first.
(crunch)
- Peng.
So good.
(crunch)
Pretty darn good.
(moan)
Right?
(cutlery clinking)
Easy, mate.
Easy.
Thank you so much.
It's a bit of a mess,
but we're gonna sort it out.
I've been Mae Muller,
my brother, Sam the Cushty Chef.
- "I Don't Want Your Money",
- Yes, - out now.
- stream "I Don't Want Your Money",
Spotify, Apple Music,
YouTube, (whoop)
the Blurb, bye!