extend your mind to quit porn i'm dr trish leigh in this video let's talk about three things number
one let's talk about what your mind is and how you can extend it rather than project it that is key
to increasing yourself value so you can feel great about yourself and get into the world on purpose
but then number two what we're going to talk about is your brain pattern how your brain performance
pattern is wrapped up in and associated with your mind and the extension or projection and then of
course stay with me until number three where we talk about your brain hack for the day on how you
can increase yourself value through extending your mind and stay tuned till the end because today i'm
going to share a poem from shel silverstein from my daughter's fifth grade graduation yesterday
nothing more inspiring than a bunch of fifth graders who are leaving elementary and going
into middle school super cool and a great poem okay let's dig in number one what is your mind
so your mind is it's an output of how your brain is performing and it's a tool to be used now like
any tool it can be used well if you're on purpose and intentional and if you're not
it can be used poorly so you know it can be used for good or it can be used for evil and uh what
did my husband say the other day when he walked by that the an idol mind is the devil's playground is
what he said he was off to do something very early in the morning he's like you know what they say
so a busy mind or an intentional mind not overly busy but intentional mind is one that's on purpose
and is extending itself for good rather than just for self pleasure so let's break it down your mind
is a tool how can you use it so that you feel great and you help other people feel great too
it's through extension extension is when you're on purpose the energy in your brain and your body and
your mind flows out from you and other people will attune to the energy level that you're at so when
you're on purpose in your work your relationships and your hobbies that extension can happen so
it's kind of like the chicken in the egg but it's the reverse of probably what you're thinking
when you get on purpose in your work you feel so good doing a thing that's important to you
that you're good at and what that does is you are able to validate yourself from within and
so then you're able to extend that self value out but it is right requisite on you being on purpose
in your work your relationships and your hobbies so that it can extend out from you
so when i make these videos this is one of the most important things in my life is being able to
be there to help you learn how to come out of the screen put porn behind get on purpose with your
families create the best life that you want for yourself and enter this transformational journey
that you'll stay on forever if you're lucky enough to engage with it so when i sit down for work
i'm jazzed up i feel great there's nothing else i want to be doing right now when i'm with my family
there's nothing else i want to be doing than to be with them and to help them succeed so that
creates the value from within so i don't feel the need to be externally validated from outside so
if i have people who are haters who don't like my message that's okay because it's important to me
to be able to help people if my kids don't like what i have to offer them i don't need them to
validate my parenting if i feel like i'm doing a good job plus i always check with experts to
make sure i'm doing what is known to be successful so when i'm doing that i can stay on track and on
purpose and extend my love out to you and out to my family because i'm doing things on purpose and
i feel valued from inside so now what that does is i don't have to go to other sources to feel
good about myself of course i have friends and i love to hang out with them i don't need them to
to give me value for myself i've already got it and i'm extending it out to them i don't need to
seek it out in the phone i don't need likes and i don't need thumbs up that is great if that happens
because my mission is so important but i'm not using that to validate myself so you see what i'm
saying okay so what's the polar opposite of that projection now projection is actually using your
mind for for less than good less than optimal the way that projection works is you perceive other
people as attacking you and so if you don't feel like you have that self value and that self-esteem
and that strength of character from the inside you don't feel like you have integrity or dignity
you feel less than on the inside and we know that a porn habit does that because it creates shame
and it perpetuates shame and when you're carrying shame around you can't feel strong on the inside
so then what happens is you project that out instead of projecting out this strong
integrity self value you're projecting out attack or irritability and angst because you're feeling
that on the inside you can only give what you have projection is when you see problems
everywhere because you're not feeling great on the inside and so you might perceive people as
attacking and you might attack people that's what anger and irritability is but check this
out when you peel the layers back you realize it's actually because you're attacking yourself
and in that self sabotage and that self attack that porn plays a part in you think you're
going to porn for pleasure and you are seeking pleasure and you're getting pleasure in the moment
but it's perceived as a self-attack the other times and i'm going to talk about this in a second
but what happens is you think that self-attack has weakened you so then you learn attacking weakens
people because i've attacked myself and i've weakened myself so i'm going to attack
others and weaken them too but that's the polar opposite of what we want to do here
what we want is for you to strengthen yourself so you can strengthen others and everybody becomes
stronger instead of everybody becoming weaker so extension of your mind is you're using your mind
on purpose to make yourself stronger and everybody else around you projection is i feel weakened
and i'm using my mind to weaken others around me generally because of the shame associated with
porn use or the discomfort that you're trying to bury with the porn use okay so now let's
move on to number two the brain performance pattern that's associated with each of those
when it comes to extension extension is the optimal brain pattern it's the brain pattern of in
the middle medium speed calm focus the zone flow state it flows out from you so that you can do
what you're designed to do you feel great because your brain is in the middle it's staying here
so even if you get stressed out you're a little stressed out if you're fatigued and overwhelmed
you're a little fatigued and overwhelmed but you're able to stay on purpose that's what happens
when you get on purpose in your life so we're talking about extension of your mind here
but when you train your brain using neurofeedback you keep it in the middle that's why i'm a huge
proponent of using technology to keep your brain in the middle then you use your mind
to keep it in the middle where you got it using the technology and i'll put the link for the muse
brain training headband below if you're interested in getting it i use mine all the time and i've
made videos that explain it if you want an explanation it's a headband that you can use that
literally brings the electrical energy in your brain into the middle
now the opposite brain pattern for projection is out in the extremes so what happens is your
brain's running much too fast anxiety mode stress mode it's also simultaneously running very slow
overwhelm mode lack of motivation lack of focus mode so you're out here in the extremes and i
call it the pendulum effect you're swinging back and forth between stressed out anxious
overwhelmed lack of motivation and the more you swing back and forth the worse you feel
it puts you in survival mode so projection which usually incorporates feeling anxious and angsty
and attacking people and irritability and always seeing things is going wrong
that is survival mode and your brain may have been stuck in survival mode since you were a kid or an
adolescent and you've learned to use porn as a self-soothing technique to be able to get by and
to survive and so it's difficult to be motivated and to get focused on goals or creativity when
you're surviving extension is thrive mode so when you're no longer in survival mode you're able to
tap into your creativity and do your best work and implement it and feel awesome about it so i want
you to get into extend mode this medium speed where you're flowing and you're in the zone and
life is good and you can do it and you do deserve to do it all right which leads to number three our
brain hack for the day i want you to get your journal out and think of the number one thing
that you were put on this earth to do even if nobody else thinks you should do it even if
nobody else thinks it's a good idea to go online and talk about how bad porn is
yes i'm referring to myself think of that thing that you have in your heart that you want to do
even if other people don't like it and go do it because when you get on purpose you won't need to
fly into the screen to offset pain or discomfort and you'll be extending not projecting and the
need for self-pleasure will go away because you'll be on purpose now let me read you this poem
from my beautiful daughter's fifth grade graduation it's by shel silverstein who's a very
famous poet um and it's called the voice there is a voice inside of you that whispers all day long
i feel that this is right for me i know that this is wrong no teacher preacher parent friend
or wise man can decide what's right for you just listen to the voice that speaks inside so today
i want you to listen to that voice and heed what that voice is telling you and have the courage
to go do it courage only exists when you feel a little fear so when you feel the fear and you
go do that thing you are transforming if you're not feeling growing pains then there's likely
not the transformation that you're looking for so feel the fear realize it's not going to kill you
and move forward on this transformational journey doing the thing that you want to do and you
were put on this earth to do have the courage to do it today it's going to pay off for you okay i
hope that helps you out if you're looking for help on this journey please go over to dr trishleigh.com
there's programs of different shapes and sizes there's digital programs there's personal coaching
there's home neurofeedback coaching me and my team we're here to help you and we'd love to be part of
your journey so many people need support on this journey sometimes you're your own teacher and
you're not the teacher you need you need a teacher who can pull you forward and that's what we offer
alright and until next time control your brain or it'll control you