This is not going to be easy.
I used to work in an I.T Company.
One day a guy took a Self-Defence Class for us.
It was attended by both Men and Women, but mostly Women.
Before the class began, the guy asked..
'Can Women who have never been Eve-Teased in their lives, raise their hands?'
None of the women did.
But that's not even the saddest part.
There was a guy who was sitting among us.
He looked around
and chuckled.
That just explains how extremely screwed up we are, as a society.
If you are an Indian Woman, you know,
we never feel safe on the roads.
If there is a group of men standing, even if it is Auto-Wallas,
we cross the road and walk on the other end.
If this is the end of the road and a car is standing,
we never walk in between.
And no matter how late we are getting, if a shared auto has all men,
we let it go.
Inspite of doing all of this bullshit,
not one Indian Woman is spared of Eve-Teasing.
Infact one of our viewers commented, 'Don't call it Eve-Teasing..
..because it doesn't convey the severity of the problem. Call it Sexual Harassment.'
So today, I am going to share with you my Sexual Harassment Story
that I have faced on the streets, because tomorrow when
I have a daughter, I don't want her to wait until she is 30 like me
to Speak UP!
All my school and college life, I have used the public transport.
And I remember those specific incidents when I was sexually harassed.
The first time, I saw it happening.
In an over-crowded bus, I was standing a little to the side of the first seat, that's
usually reserved for Physically-Challenged people.
That's the only part in the front where men are allowed.
An old man was sitting there.
And a woman was standing right infront of him.
That old man, started brushing between her thighs.
She did not say anything.
Nor did I.
I was in a bus, on my way to school.
I was sitting at the edge of a seat near the aisle.
And I felt a man touching my breast from the side.
At that age, I was so scared, I didn't even look up to see who it was.
I believed it was my fault.
This was my school uniform.
I was wearing a Dupatta.
I was doing my engineering.
In a bus, when I got a seat near the aisle,
a guy came next to me and started brushing his groin on my shoulder.
This used to happen most of the times and
every time, I would inch towards the left to avoid it happening.
This time, I was travelling with a friend.
She noticed what was happening.
She looked at that guy and said..
'Don't you know how to stand? STAND BACK!'
He couldn't even look her in the eye and moved away.
That was the first time I realised that I need to speak up.
It was 7:30 AM in the morning.
I was walking to catch the early office bus.
There was a truck coming very slowly in the opposite direction.
It had 10-15 guys who were coming back from a religious event.
I was walking in my direction with my head down.
And before I knew it, all of those guys started hitting me with
Flowers, Stones, aimed all over my body.
For 10-15 seconds, I just stood there,
trembling with fear.
This incident happened very close to the Police Control Room
and none of the people passing by did anything.
I was travelling in a shared auto with I.T professionals.
Now nobody can sexually harass you here, right?
The guy next to me, folded his hands
and started touching me like this.
This was an Educated Man, with an I.T job.
I raised my voice.
But the auto-walla said,
'Madam, why are you shouting unnecessarily?'
There was a girl sitting to my right and a guy infront.
I looked at them for support.
But both of them, kept quiet.
Now when I think about why am I so scared,
so insecure in my life, I realize
these incidents have a major role to play.
Because think about it. Complete Strangers have the confidence to touch you,
in broad day-light because they know nobody will speak up!
Doesn't it break you from inside?
And I am from Hyderabad. This is considered one of the safest cities of our country.
If this happens here, I can only imagine
what happens in other parts of our country which are labelled unsafe.
There have been cases, where Sexual Harassment on the streets has led girls
into depression, suicide.
Because it is embarrassing.
It's embarrassing to talk to your friends, your family about it.
Let alone make a video.
But the reason why I told you about it
is because YOU can put an end to Sexual Harassment.
Before I tell you HOW, let's first understand WHY.
Why is every woman sexually harassed on the streets?
There are 4 main reasons.
1. I think almost everything wrong in our country can be linked to Patriarchy.
A study suggested that one of the reasons why men harass women is
to assert their control, their power over women.
They believe it's their right.
2. Our families care more about family honour
rather than the well-being of the girl.
And WHO clearly states that it is a major risk factor
for Sexual Violence against women.
Think about it.
If our families are ashamed of the girl, instead of the criminal
then what is stopping the criminal?
3. Sex and romance are considered taboo topics in our society.
Because we don't talk about it, chi!
And 'Sex Education' is a phrase that doesn't even exist.
Then what do young boys turn to for learning about romance?
Bollywood.
And guess what our Super Star is doing to our Heroine on screen without her consent?
If ever there is a Golden Rule Book of Bollywood,
the first page will say
'Even if a woman says no, stalk, eve-tease and persist because, in the end..
And the fourth reason.
Most of the times, women chose to ignore the harasser
instead of speaking up or complaining about it.
And this encourages the harasser to do it again.
Don't believe me?
This is what the Addl. Commisioner of Police, Crimes and SIT has to say about Eve-Teasing.
99% of the times, the boys who do Eve-Teasing are not hardened criminals.
If we don't take any action, if we don't report, if we don't even stop them..
A number of times, just raising a voice at that point itself
might deter the boy from doing it again.
And if they (complainant) need, the Police Action would definitely deter him and
prevent things from going out of hand or
that individual trying to internalise it as something
normal and indulging in it again and again.
So it is very important that we do report such crimes.
That clip is from a video titled,
'Questions every Woman wants to ask the Police'
I think every woman should watch that video.
The link is in the description. Do check it out.
According to Ms.Shikha Goel,
whenever you face sexual harassment on the streets..
1. Know that it is not your fault, so you should not be ashamed.
2. Speak UP!
Even if you see it happening, it is important that you speak up!
But all my life, I have not spoken up.
And the people around me, who saw it happening,
did not speak up either.
Do you know why our country is unsafe?
It is not because there are too many bad guys.
It is because the good one's, are not talking.
I know I am late but I took that first step
by telling you about it.
But none of this will make sense, unless you join hands with me.
Now we can't change Bollywood overnight.
Or slap those rascals who think it's their right.
But we can teach 10's, 100's, 1000's of girls who are being
sexually harassed on the streets in our country, right now..
How to Speak UP!
Because if you speak up first, then a 12 Year old girl
wearing a dupatta, somewhere in a crowded bus who is thinking it's her fault,
will also speak up!
So message me on Instagram and
tell me your Eve-Teasing Story.
Sexual Harassments that you have faced on the streets.
I'll share it on my profile while keeping your identity anonymous.
Because the more of us women, talk about it,
the more our country will realise the magnitude of this problem.
And the more men and women who are currently sitting DEAF and DUMB in a shared auto
while a man is touching a woman with folded hands,
will Speak up
and Report!
I will be waiting for your messages.