Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business
and life you love, and this is Q&A Tuesday.
Today’s question comes from Kristen and she writes:
“Hi Marie, I’m a 31 year old optometrist, wife, and mother of 2.
I’ve been married for 5 years, lived in the same house for 5 years, and I’ve been
at the same job for 5 years.
I love my family dearly and enjoy my job, however, I feel like something huge is missing.
I’m not sure if it’s the 5 year slump or if I’m meant to do something bigger.”
Hm, I’ve never heard of the 5 year slump.
Is that the thing that comes 2 years before the 7 year itch?
Alright, she says:
“I’ve never been one to take huge chances.
I come from a family of realists.
I know I have a lot of potential but there’s always that, “you’re not good enough,”
thought nagging me.
I need and want to break free of this desperately.
I love dancing, but I’m self conscious.
I love singing, but I don’t do it because I worry how I’ll be perceived.
I have to cut this self doubt for myself and my family.
I certainly don’t want to instill it in my children.
Sincerely, Kristen”
Great question, Kristen.
So many of us can relate to that feeling that there’s something missing in our life.
And before we move ahead, I wanna acknowledge you for having the courage to say, “You
know what?
I am not gonna settle for the status quo and I want more for my life.”
Good for you, woman.
First things first.
If you don’t make the change right now, you’re right, you will pass along all that
self doubt to your kids.
If they see you as someone who’s not willing to take risks, as someone who’s not gonna
go for their dreams, you’re gonna wind up creating your own family of realists.
And what I mean by that, is people who are unwilling to go for their dreams, unwilling
to be unreasonable.
And here’s the thing Kristen, as you know, sometimes the best things in life come when
we’re being unreasonable.
On the other hand, if your kids see you taking action and going after your dreams and being
willing to embarrass yourself every once in a while, they’re gonna get the message that
it’s safe for them to take risks and to go after their dreams instead of just dreaming
about them.
Here’s the other thing about what’s missing from your life, Kristen.
What’s missing is fun!
Just because you’re in a slump, it doesn't mean that you’ve outgrown your house or
your marriage or a job.
All it means is that you’ve outgrown your tolerance for leading a boring ass life.
We human beings need to be creative.
We need the adventure and the excitement and the variety that comes from creative endeavors.
And when I was reading your question, that little line that you have about dancing, that
you wish you could dance, you wish you could sing, tells me that you are creatively malnourished.
You are starving right now.
And, look, you don’t have to go audition for X-Factor or do anything crazy like that.
You can just start singing in your shower if you want.
Or you can take dance breaks at the office.
I’ll give you an example from my own life.
I am a bit of a closet hippie.
And in the past year I’ve been starting to go to drumming circles.
I have no idea what I’m doing, but I love it.
Sure, I could’ve let the fear of looking stupid stop me, but when has that stopped
me before?
If we get right down to it, I have the life I have right now because I’m willing to
look stupid.
Here’s the thing Kristen, you are waiting for a sudden hit of courage to do the things
you’re afraid of.
But the truth is this, you have courage inside of you, you just need to activate it.
Courage is a muscle and you build it by doing the things that you’re afraid of.
So if you’re terrified of something, say, “Screw it!
I’m gonna do it anyway.”
That’s the way that you’re gonna strengthen and stimulate your sexy courage muscles.
As Mr. John Wayne said, and yes, it’s a tweetable:
“Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway.”
Finally, Kristen, about not feeling good enough?
We’ve already done a whole episode on that right here.
Kristen, that is my A to your Q. Remember, you’ve got one shot on this planet, so make
it count.
Now I want to hear from you.
Have you ever had that feeling like you have a good life but something’s just missing?
What’d you do to turn it around?
I wanna hear your story.
As always, the best stuff happens after the episode in the comments section at MarieForleo.com,
so go there and tell me your story right now.
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Thank you so much for watching and I’ll see you next time on MarieTV.