- Heya playa, are you too nervous or worried
to ask out your crush because you feel
like you might be overweight?
Sometimes not feeling like you're the ideal size
can really throw off your ability
to talk to someone that you like.
But, don't worry, in this video
I'm gonna share a few tips
on how to develop the mindset you need
to ask out your crush, regardless of how big you are.
♪ This is the Josh Speaks ♪
♪ You're watching the Josh Speaks ♪
When it comes to feeling fat or overweight,
it can really put a damper
on what you feel you're capable of,
but it really shouldn't.
The first thing you should focus on
even before thinking about asking out a girl,
is dealing with your weight,
and the best way to do that is to accept who you are
in this moment, right now.
As far as changing yourself by losing weight,
that'll come in time, but if you can't feel comfortable
in your skin as you are, then you're always gonna battle
with never feeling good enough.
You are you, whether you're overweight or not.
Just because you don't look the way you do,
doesn't mean you're incomplete and that's something
you have to recognize at the beginning.
One thing you might be fearful of is rejection
and I get it, rejection is scary
and for you, you might feel like your weight
will be the reason why you might get rejected.
You might be telling yourself, it's impossible
for your crush to like you because you're fat
and that's that, well, what you're really doing
is masking your feer of rejection
and using your weight as the excuse.
I don't wanna get into the whole,
but there's tons of overweight guys out there
with beautiful girls things, to prove your feelings wrong.
Your feels are totally normal and valid here.
But, if you're using those feelings
to justify your actions, if you're saying
your crush won't like you because you're fat
or short or have acne, then all you're doing
is disqualifying yourself before you've even tried
and that's something you should never do,
regardless of what you think your shortcomings are.
Another major problem you might be running into
is comparing yourself to skinnier or more muscular guys.
Maybe you've seen your crush talking to a few of these guys
and you thought, well, they are physically superior to me
so why even bother.
Don't count yourself out yet.
Looks are important, don't get me wrong,
but they aren't everything.
In fact, the deeper you get to know a person
and the stronger of a connection you build with them,
the more looks tend to fade to the background.
So, even if you feel like you're in competition
with the most attractive guy in school,
his looks only go as far as his personality
and if that part of him sucks, the rest is gonna crumble.
To be fair here, there will be cases
where there are people with someone
only for their looks, and that shallowness
is the kind you run for the hills and avoid.
Okay, so now that we've laid out the mindset
for how to prevent yourself from self-sabotage
if you feel overweight, what should you do
to ask out your crush and maybe even get her to say yes?
Well, I think the key piece of it all
is to focus on your stand-out qualities.
We all have them, but you may not know
up front what they are.
For you, maybe you tell jokes
or you're a snazzy dresser,
or you might even be the person people can turn to
for life advice when they need it.
And if you could start to figure out
what those abilities are, you'll now have something
to focus on when you talk to your crush.
If, for example, you're telling a funny story
to your crush and you have them engaged,
the thought of your weight might not even pop in your head
and if they're truly engaged,
they won't even recognize it, either.
We should, however, address
the overweight part of this, too.
I am gonna say that you should be exercising
and eating healthy, but not solely
because you're overweight, primarily
because it's gonna make you feel confident in who you are.
People don't realize that exercising every single day,
whether it's going for a walk or doing a few push-ups,
maybe even just eating healthier, gives you
much more choice over the actions you take in life.
Exercising and eating healthier are two basic things
that most people can have control over.
And when you do have control over them,
it's easier to start shaping and implementing things
in other parts of your life.
So, if you feel inadequate or incapable
about asking a girl out because of your weight,
try going for a walk, try saying no to that burger.
Exercising that free will will make you feel
like you have more options, more choices,
and increase your ability to do the things
you want to do.
What do you think, though?
Is your weight holding you back
from asking out a girl that you like?
Leave your comments below and we'll talk about it.
One thing I haven't really touched on
is a girl that flat out rejects you
because she thinks you're fat
and those are the type of girls
you want to avoid at all costs.
If that's happened to you before
or you felt like you got rejected
because you're ugly or not good enough,
check out the other video I've done addressing that topic.
Look, you should always work towards
feeling and looking good for yourself
and your partner, but that initial step
starts with accepting yourself right here, right now.
As always guys, love and peace.