i want you to hit me as hard as you can imagine a world where an oppressed people are ruled by
a police state and kept pacified by a tv show where people compete in violent games
of sports and arnold schwarzenegger runs around in skin-tight yellow lycra while dropping dime
one-liners i'm here to tell you that world does exist it's time to play the running man
it's another episode of real action and we're looking at another schwarzenegger
joint that's close to my heart right up there with predator which was released the same year
it's 1987's the running man a shockingly prescient look at the influence of media
and a predictor of our reality tv culture oh and it also has some badass gladiatorial fights
glossed up the pro wrestling levels of ridiculousness and featuring at least
three grapplers to play murderous stalkers with comic book villain monikers it was the
hunger games before anybody knew what the f a mockingjay was hell i still don't really know
shocker the runny man comes from the twisted mind of stephen king under his richard bachman alias
he's imagined a dystopia where america is ruled by a totalitarian government criminals or those
deemed dangerous to the state aren't incarcerated but made contestants in a deadly game show called
the running man there they must try to make it through the various sectors while avoiding death
at the hands of the stalkers outlandish mortal kombat-esque baddies with names like buzzsaw
sub-zero and captain freedom and last one could be an adventure schwarzenegger plays ben richards
one of those guys that he and stallone had made really popular in the 80s the innocent man done
in by a corrupt legal system i think this is truly one of the best introductions to a hero ever as
ben a helicopter pilot working for the government refuses to open fire on a gathering of poor people
begging for food for his trouble ben is restrained not before beating the crap out of everyone first
then knocked unconscious from there he's thrown into a toxic work camp just in time for a big
jailbreak led by yafit koto everything gets better when it's led by yafet koto i'm just saying
well except for this one guy who got the suicide squad exploding collar treatment video was edited
to frame richards for the massacre of dozens of people labeling him the butcher of bakersfield
of the many great creations in the running man richard dawson's maniacal game show host
damon killian might be the best an all-around dirt bag and carnival barker killian proves what
a crap hole he is by getting an old janitor fired just for accidentally bumping into him he keeps
the bloodthirsty audience of his running man game show riled up at all times even though most of the
crowd look old enough to drop dead at any moment from too much excitement dawson the long-running
host of the family feud uses his experience well and is probably the best actor in the entire movie
well not named jaffet koto that is when richards attempts to flee the country are foiled by amber
played by the spicy maria conchita alonso killian practically orders the president of the united
states and the justice department to hand him over in this world elected officials have talent agents
too not that the governator would know anything about that ben's a good dude despite all of the
news reports so he agrees to do the running man on the condition that his fellow escapee pals
weiss played by marvin j mcintyre and jaffet kodo's laughlin are spared but no
they're all given form-fitting spandex jumpsuits tastefully adorned with their names and fired down
the rabbit hole to meet their doom at the hands of guys dressed like cartoon characters the running
man is like every 80s dystopian sci-fi trope thrown into a blender with action movie cliches
and that's what makes it so much damn fun you've got women and leotards performing a routine from a
paula abdul fever dream she quite literally did the choreography and a secret rebellion led by
mick fleetwood of fleetwood mac who may or may not be playing himself and with dweezil zappa
as his top lieutenant and they all wear berets what the hell is this and where can i sign up
as a 10 year old kid who believed pro wrestling was real
i fully bought into the running man its myriad of murderous stalkers they were all so freaking
awesome mostly because many of them were played by literal gladiators of the ring and football field
sub-zero a massive japanese dude on skates with a bladed hockey stick and a killer cross check
was played by pro wrestler professor toru tanaka power lifter gus rethwitch made schwarzenegger
look tiny as the chainsaw wielding buzzsaw who got the most grisly death of all and
the most groan worthy of ben's one-liners what happened to basa he had to split gridiron legend
jim brown played the flame-throwing fireball who has a freaking jetpack and a terrifyingly
calm attitude about roasting his victims they're running man last season's winners no
last season's losers and speaking of guys dug in deeper than alabama tick jesse ventura plays the
unappreciated stalker vet captain freedom it was ventura's second movie alongside schwarzenegger
that year after predator and he would go on to appear opposite stallone and demolition man denzel
washington and ricochet and abraxas guardian of the universe alongside dutch strongman zven ol
thorsen who also plays the hulking security guards then in the running man if there's a running motif
i've discovered doing real action over the last year it's that all these movies are connected by
people in ways i don't think we see anymore there are no cinematic universes here but it feels like
all these films come from the same place and there's something really cool about that anyway my
favorite of all the stalkers has to be the walking christmas tree the overblown nightlight dynamo if
this guy wasn't a comic book character waiting to happen i don't know who else could be not
only does he don a bulky led suit of armor that makes him look like a star trek bridge console
but dude is an opera singer because why the hell not it has his own vehicle the dyna mobile
okay they don't actually call it that but you know they would have dynamo was played by the
late irwin phillip peter van lift de jude who passed away shortly after this film released his
acting career was brief but erwin was a really an accomplished opera singer and get this an
actual wrestler i wonder if he ventura and tanaka broke out into doing body slams during breaks
through the running man great pains are taken to show what a good guy ben richards really is
which begs the question why was he in that helicopter to begin with
but he's not perfect and terrifies the crap out of poor amber i mean how would you like
the sight of a half naked schwarzenegger dressed all in white layering over you while working out
lifting your weight bench with one flex of his bicep ben is a scary ass dude right
lucky didn't kill you too he'll rape you and kill you
i look at 1987 as the turning point in schwarzenegger's career
and you can see the evolution of his acting in the running man no longer the silent stoic figure of
his earliest roles in this one he's given a lot more humor to run with and i mean a lot there
are more bad puns in here than sub-zero could slapstick an exploding puck at give me a lift
i love you don't forget to send me a copy by the light
well that hit the spot the runny man might be the most quotable action movie of the 80s
and the best aren't always from schwarzenegger or dawson
although they do get this memorable exchange i'll be back
only in a rerun i still use that one the witty banter comes from one of the 80s most prolific
blockbuster screenwriters and a real action favorite steven e d'souza who would also pin
films such as die hard die hard 2 commando judge dredd and street fighter
de souza was brought on after it was revealed that bachmann was actually stephen king
making the rights to the adaptation extremely valuable de souza deviated from the source
material though reducing the hunt to a single location rather than globally as in the book
you're one of the cops who locked up all my friends burned my songs people like
you took this country turn it into a jail behind the camera was paul michael glaser
starsky himself the former starsky and hutch actor was a replacement for director andrew
davis who got canned early on for being behind schedule schwarzenegger is noted for
having said this hurt the film and that glazer shot the running man like a tv show to be fair
it's sort of a tv show within a movie right i'll give him this glazer is very clearly not
a filmmaker who knows a lot about action choreography shooting much of it in such
a way that it obscures what's happening so yeah i guess like a tv show wary of offending his viewers
schwarzenegger's criticism proved correct at the box office where the running man made just 38
million dollars against a 27 million dollar budget the film has lived well beyond its time though
as a forecaster of our tv culture and the growing influence of media to sway public opinion
a key turn in the film comes as ben richards shows mercy to a fallen dynamo and a crowd that had been
banging for blood begins to see what's really going on as the tide turns in ben's favor a bettor
decides to buck the trend and put his money on our hero the revolution begins with 200 on richards
and i'm going to make it part of you
that's all right
the running man is also just a damn blast of 80s craziness
it doesn't take itself too seriously at a time when most dystopian sci-fi was grim
i mean we just did cyborg a couple months ago and nobody had to laugh in that damn thing sadly
they just don't make movies like this anymore and balance weighty themes with a
tongue-in-cheek attitude although there has been talk of a remake with edgar wright attached a true
sequel to the running man never materialized sadly despite his promise to be back schwarzenegger
never did return to give us a fresh season of the running man that we deserve i don't do requests
the running man gets 10 out of 10 stallones
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