Welcome back to the Gentleman’s Gazette!
In today's vdieo, we discuss something very close to our heart, more specifically what it means in this day
and age to be a gentleman.
Term gent or gentleman has become ubiquitous in magazines, blogs and on TV.
Overall it is used for all kind of men and it’s very hard to tell what the meaning
actually is and what it entails.
Also, overtime the definition has changed and if you for example look at Prince Philip,
which is a text book gentleman it may not hold true anymore if you look at his racist
gaffes.
Originally, a gentleman was a man of high social status and wealth which meant he did
not work.
If you take a look at dictionaries, you will find a number of different definitions.
For example, a gentleman is a chivalrous, courteous and honorable man.
Others claim it is a polite or formal way to refer to a man.
It can also be a man of noble birth or someone of a royal house hold.
It could also mean just in general a man of good social standing or a member of the House
of Commons.
or it can mean just a man with a general good societal position.
So what exactly does it mean to be a gentleman today?
We believe it's much more than just courtesy.
In this day and age, acts of chivalry can be interpreted as condescending sometimes
and what exactly does honor mean?
It’s so abused and overused it’s hard to tell.
Overall, gentleman is no longer a description of ones character refinement.
It’s just used too broadly.
Moreover, people work today and the times where you just have your stately estate are long
gone.
At the same time money and position can’t buy you class.
From our perspective,
it’s important to understand that today anyone who wants to be gentleman can become
one.
What matter is what you want to be and that’s something that you can continuously strive
to be.
While thinking about the topic,
we came up with 11 hallmarks of a gentleman today.
1. A gentleman is imperfect.
You probably wouldn’t have thought that we’d start out with that but we are all human beings
and we make mistakes.
If a gentleman makes a mistake he takes responsibility and control of the situation and owns it.
2. A gentleman has high standards.
That means not just for anybody else but also for himself.
He continuously strives for perfection and a job well done.
3. A gentleman is well dressed.
That means he puts thought to his outfits and creates something harmonious that flatters
his personality and his body style.
It also means he is appropriately attired for the occasion.
You can not be a gentleman and show up in jeans at a wedding when you’re expected
to wear a suit.
4. A gentleman has good manners.
That means, courteous, polite and respectful.
A gentleman says please and thank you.
He waits in line and he treats others not just the way he would like to be treated but
the way they would like to be treated.
A gentleman is also an equitable conversation partner and makes people in his presence feel
at ease.
5. A gentleman is open minded.
That means he likes to learn.
He strives for constructive criticism and he looks at failure as a path to success that
is essential and necessary.
That means, he is also receptive to new and different ideas that are outside of his box.
It also means that a gentleman doesn’t argue purely for the sake of being right.
There has to be something deeper behind it.
6. A gentleman is interested and informed.
That means he walks the world with open eyes and an open ear. He can successfully carry on
a conversation and they always strives to learn more from others so he in turn
becomes interesting.
That also means that a gentlemen has hobbies and passions outside of his work and he always
strive to improve on those.
7. A gentleman’s actions match his words.
It’s very easy to say “Oh, we should definitely get together sometime.”
But a gentleman actually follows up, calls, sends a text message or an email asking when
they have time and you follow through.
8. A gentleman treats people with respect.
Now that's not just peers that are the same level.
But it also means other people, janitors, bus drivers or simply homeless people on the
street that has been less fortunate than yourself.
A gentleman believes that all people are equal and everybody has the same rights.
An arrogant person defines his self worth by standing above others.
On the other hand a gentleman grabs his confidence from his actions that are based on his work
and his person, not others and he doesn’t have to put himself above others to feel better.
10. A gentleman wheels its power purposefully.
A gentleman uses his power to bring out the best in other people and help lead them to
greater success especially if they are not in the same position as he is.
11. A gentleman gives the benefit of a doubt to other people.
Let’s say something doesn’t go your way.
If you are a gentleman, you assume that the other person didn’t mean harm and you don’t
automatically attack them and judge them because you simply think that it was a mistake.
Of course, if evident shows differently, that’s a different story but as a general attitude,
you are open to people and you see the good in them.
So as you can see, being a gentleman sets a very high bar and its not a definitive thing.
It’s a cause aspiration and you always have to work on it.
It’s a lifetime pursuit of self awareness, motivation and improvement.
It all comes down to who you are and who you want to be.
Now all of that comes with challenges.
Even though we have the best intentions, sometimes if we are stressed or if we get up on the
wrong foot or in a bad mood we may treat people in a way that is not gentlemanly.
If that happens, own it, apologize and be sincere and people will respect you more for
it and understand it.
As a gentleman, once you have put all that thought into your actions and your behavior you are
very flattered if somebody else calls you a gentleman.
It’s not necessarily something that you pride yourself to be.
Even though I strive to be a gentleman, I am challenged by it everyday.
First of all, I am a very impatient person so I don’t like waiting in lines and I can
be very direct which sometimes people find to be impolite.
You’ll see as you work on your weaknesses, you’ll find it especially rewarding when
someone else calls you a gentleman because it is not something that you proclaim to be.