hey everybody and welcome to story time
i'm pear this is sis and today's story
is titanic
if you're unfamiliar titanic is the
story of a psychopathic woman who ruins
multiple people's lives and wait wait
wait wait i don't think we're talking
about the same movie here titanic right
big ship can't be sunk it's an iceberg
that's the one yeah it's about a woman
who's a complete psychopath
okay
others might say it's one of the great
love stories of our time why don't you
let me lead this one okay
okay joke
now then once upon a time not so long
ago
people with high-tech submarines were
searching the wreck of the titanic for
lost treasure when they found a picture
of a woman wearing a massive jewel
around her neck yeah yeah yeah that's
her that's the psychopath her sis that's
rose she's the main character yeah i
know
you might not be remembering it right
no i'm pretty sure i am the submarine
dudes figured out rose was alive right
and they called her in to tell her a
really long story about how she cheated
on her husband and manipulated a
penniless man named jack into drying her
portrait for free um
i guess and then when the ship sank and
the door was floating in the water that
was clearly big enough to hold two
people on top of it and kept the entire
door to herself and let poor penniless
jack freeze to death in the water um
and then at the end of the movie it's
revealed she actually had the huge jewel
those submarine guys wanted the entire
time but she never tells them and
instead secretly drops the priceless
jewel into the ocean instead of like
donating it to charity or using that
money to bring even an ounce of good
into the world that sound about right um
well
yeah that's basically the plot of
titanic all right yeah that lady is a
complete psychopath
i can't believe i'm about to say this
but it's hard to argue with you on that
one i didn't realize it until now but
yeah rose from titanic is a massive
massive psychopath
you think that's bad i haven't even
gotten to the sequel yet wait what
titanic doesn't have a sequel how could
it oh it's got a sequel all right it's
called
titanic 2
rose goes full psychopath
there is no movie called that it's in
production pair and it's gonna be
awesome i know i read the script really
well also i wrote the script but hear me
out you know how old lady rose passes
away peacefully at the end of titanic
spoiler alert but yeah well titanic 2
takes place in hell oh my gosh
and because she's such a psychopath rose
gets sent to the absolute deepest circle
of hell but she uses her psychopathic
charm to trick people and move up slowly
but surely level by level until she
straight up charms the devil himself and
sneaks up into heaven gotta say this is
quite the departure from the original
rom-com and why would rose want to sneak
into heaven you ask um because it's
heaven because jack is there
oh and she wants to apologize
get real the biggest psychopath the
world has ever known is gonna apologize
fat chance pair she wants to see jack so
she can screw him over again
what
oh yeah she pulls the exact same trick
again she takes him to the door that
separates heaven and hell tells him
there's only room in heaven for one of
them when clearly there's room enough
for two and he totally falls for it the
end what
sis that's an awful ending too bad the
end you already paid for your ticket you
watched the whole movie no refunds sis
gets 10 of the ticket price because she
wrote the movie but the end pair roll
credits
well congrats sis you did it you wrote a
movie about the single biggest
psychopath the world and the after world
has ever seen who rose
oh she's a major psycho alright but
she's not the biggest psycho ever she's
not no way the biggest psycho would do
something like oh i don't know like some
tnt for absolutely no reason something
like that wow
oh
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you