There's only three ways in which you can pick up HIV or you can get infected with HIV. Either
having unprotected sex with someone that does not know their HIV status. Vertical transmission,
which is when mothers do not know they've got HIV and they go ahead and have babies and breastfeed.
Sharing needles - so mostly for people that use substances and they're injecting
drugs. If they share the needle, that way they can get HIV. Those are the only three ways you
can get HIV. You cannot get HIV by sharing utensils. You cannot have it by sharing the
toilet. You can't get it by just sitting in a room and breathing. You can't pick up
HIV from kissing. You can't get it from hugging people. You can't get it from sharing clothing,
living with someone...HIV, you cannot get HIV that way. Without treatment and medication it can kill
but actually it's not that easy to pick up HIV. I'll take you back to 21 years ago in 1999. I was
pregnant and like any other pregnant woman I had to go to the hospital to do my antenatal tests. I
was three months pregnant, very excited and I saw this midwife and she was really nice and she said
these are all the tests you would have to do but then she said HIV test as well and I
thought 'why are you asking me?' I was offended. I thought 'why are you asking me to do an HIV test?
HIV doesn't happen to people like me' and so I said no.
So she said "oh actually Florence, do you know there's now medication you can take
to stop the virus from being transmitted to your child while you're pregnant or during birth?"
and then when she said that I remembered that I watched a programme on BBC.
They were talking about encouraging women, pregnant women, to take an HIV test. So it
clicked. I thought to myself 'it's going to come back negative anyway' so I said yes to the test.
Two weeks after I got a letter in the post from the hospital, from the antenatal clinic,
saying can I come back for further tests. The last thing on my mind was HIV, I didn't think
of HIV. I thought because I just thought 'no that test would definitely come back negative.'
So I went to the hospital and I got to the antenatal clinic.
I saw all the pregnant women and another woman, not the same midwife, another woman came up
to me and said "Florence can you come with me please" and so she ushered me into a room and
there was another lady in the room. I thought 'hmm?' I sat down and she sat down opposite me
and as soon as she sat down she just said "Florence your HIV test has come back positive."
I was in shock. I started to sweat. I was shaking. I was out of breath. I started crying. I didn't
know what to do with myself. I just saw my life flash past me and I thought 'this is it' and then
she asked me a good question. She said "Florence what do you know about HIV?" and I said "I know
I'm going to die of HIV. It's going to kill me and I'm going to be very ill and then I'm going to die
of the illnesses that I will have" and she said "no Florence, things have changed." She said "now
there's medication." So she explained everything to me. She said "medication is okay in pregnancy.
It will help reduce the virus in your body." She spent two hours telling me that and I came away
feeling very hopeful. She said "would you like to come to the clinic, the specialist HIV clinic
in the hospital?" and I said "yes, yeah I'd love to." So she booked me an appointment
for the next day to see an HIV specialist consultant. She talked to me about HIV again,
explained everything about the medication. The only thing is that you have to take it every day
and you have to take it for life and then she said something that really was good. She turned
round to me and she said "Florence would you like to meet other people living with HIV?"
and I thought 'what? I'd love to!' So she gave me this number and she said "call this number,
it's a support group." As soon as I got home I called the number and as I called, a beautiful
voice, African woman, answered on the other side of the phone and she said "would you like to come
to this support group?" and I said "yes I would love to!" So she invited me to the next one. When
I get there I was expecting to see people that are frail, ill, wheelchairs, looking very sick, people
that are dying and as I got into this room I saw a circle of women and they all said "oh Florence,
come and sit down." They were so nice to me and these women I saw: they had their hair done,
they had makeup done, they had their nails done - I remember about the nails, I won't forget that!
I was really surprised, I thought 'oh, so you're living with HIV and you look so glamorous!' I
couldn't believe it when I saw these women! Some of them were working, some were pregnant,
some had just got married, some have children, some are dating and I thought 'ah wow!'
I was reassured when I saw that. So I continued going to the meetings regularly.
I'd like to tell you, share with you what happened when I told people.
Okay. I told the father of my child. So I advised him. I said "I've just been tested positive,
please go and have an HIV test done." He wasn't horrible on the phone, he just said "okay,
[he'll] go and have a test done." He went and did the test. Came back a few weeks after and
then said to me his test was negative. That was the last time I could speak to my son's dad.
He changed his number. He doesn't have anything to do with us. So that is an example of how stigma,
HIV stigma can manifest itself. Then I decided to tell an ex-partner.
I told him, again I did it on the phone. I rang him up and I said
"please go and have an HIV test done. My test came positive." He said to me on the
phone "Florence if I go and have a test done, I'm going to get a gun and I'm going to shoot you"
and I was in shock and already I was scared of telling people about HIV. That made me even more
petrified. I was so scared and luckily he went and had a test done and he also came back
negative and then I told a friend that I'd known since I was very little.
When I told him that was the last I heard of him. He said to me on the phone "oh look at
what you've done to yourself, you've gone and you've picked up a virus. Look at you"
and I put down the phone and that was the last time he ever called me.
When I've told family members, they just don't talk about it. So HIV is not like when you have
cancer or heart problems or illnesses, diabetes or whatever, where people will flock around you and
and support you. HIV it's the opposite. People will run away from you. Although I had negative
reactions, I also had positive reactions. So I've had half-half. Some people I've told have been so
nice. Checking on me, you know ringing me up and asking if I'm okay. Telling me, reminding me to
take it easy you know? Really supportive. What I'd like for you to take away today
is that HIV does not discriminate. It doesn't matter your age, it doesn't matter your race,
it doesn't matter your religion, it doesn't matter your sexuality, it doesn't matter your class.
It affects everyone and you don't have to have lots of partners to get HIV.
You could just have that one partner and have unprotected sex with that partner
and you can pick up HIV. Using condoms saves lives and also testing regularly saves lives and it will
save you from passing HIV to your loved ones because that's what happens. You cannot see HIV.
So you cannot tell who's got HIV. So you can only protect yourself by using
condoms. Also I'd like to share the message of 'U = U' which means 'undetectable = untransmittable.'
So a person living with HIV like myself: I've had it for 21 years but I've not been able to
pass it on to anybody because I'm on effective medication and that's the message, big message
I want you to take away. Go and have a test done because it's either negative or positive.
If it's negative then continue to have tests and use condoms. If it's positive
then you're lucky. You're lucky you've not fallen ill yet. This is a chance for you to start taking
medication and start protecting your loved ones. So I'd like you to be kind. Please be kind to
people living with HIV. No one has gone to the shop and said they want to buy HIV. It happens.
It just happens. People living with HIV have not done anything different from other people,
they've just been unlucky. So please be kind to people living with HIV
and remember if you're on effective medication, you can't pass on HIV. Thank you.
you