This is Stuff You Like, you can call me Ursa, and if I have a resolution for the new year,
it’s to be a bit more like the characters in Sister Act.
OK so definitely not the nunning, and probably not the lounge singing
but I'm pretty sure I can manage a bit of choral singing and Christianity and hanging
out with my female friends.
Last year there was some talk about a remake of Sister Act being in the works down Disney
way.
Although at the time of filming I don't know if Whoopi Goldberg is actually going to be
involved or not.
And it’s entirely possible that the entire project will get stuck in development hell,
but hey.
It’s been nearly 25 years since Sister Act graced our screens,
and I think it's high time a new generation was introduced to the amazingness of funny
singing nuns.
Though obviously I think they're going to have to update that whole 'purple mink coat'
thing.
So de trop.
But Sister Act is a really fun movie and I love it, so...you know, I’m cautiously optimistic.
And the screenwriters who are supposed to be on board with the project have Legally
Blonde and Ten Things I Hate About You to their credit, so...cautious optimism!
But anyway.
The plot of Sister Act, it goeth thusly: Dolores van Cartier is a lounge singer in
Reno.
Her (married) boyfriend is a mobster and Delores walks in on him having a dude straight-up
murdered in his office.
As you do.
To keep her safe until the trial, the police put her in protective custody.
In a convent.
But even itchy tight-necked old-fashioned Carmelite habits can’t keep Dolores down,
oh no.
She energises the convent, takes over the choir, and the nuns jump at the chance to
get out in the streets doing good and all that.
Which...is apparently not a Carmelite nun thing, it’s a sister thing, but...I 'unno.
The mob are still looking for Sister Mary Clarence...I mean, Delores, and that leads
to shenanigans, but all ends happily after a showdown in a
casino where the nuns stick up for her nunniness, the random police dude gets there in the nick
of time, and Delores proves that her time in the convent has actually taught her stuff
about faith and hope and love.
“I forgive you, Vince” And then the choir performs for the Pope,
yay, the end.
When we meet Delores at the start of the film, she is a lounge singer, ooh, the glamour,
except meh, not really.
She’s also in a somewhat unsatisfying relationship with the mob guy, who is self-evidently a
really awful person.
I mean even if Delores doesnt' know about the mob thing, he’s very OBVIOUSLY a jerk
who’s cheating on his wife with her.
And she doesn’t really seem to care?
Well.
Up to a point, because the reason she finds out about the murdering is because she is
ON HER WAY TO DUMP HIM.
There are apparently limits that Delores’s self-respect will not tolerate, and
"Connie LeRoc.
It's his wife's coat.
The man gave me his wife's coat."
Yeah...a gift of your married lover’s wife’s coat?
Seems to be one of them.
She’s not certain where she’s going, or what she’ll do after she dumps him and thus
has to leave her job, but she’s going anyway.
And then...
[gunshot and DRAMAFACE!]
So we take this very active character, this character who likes to be doing things, to
be in charge of things, and we put her amongst a bunch of people whose
entire existence is dedicated to taking orders from Someone Else Entirely.
Whose entire lives revolve around service to God, and contemplation and prayer and...to
Delores's eyes at least...not really doing that much.
"All these people do is work and pray, work and pray that's all they do!"
Hence that whole ‘let’s get out there and do things and meet the people’ plot.
Though this does kind of mess up how actual nuns work but...[random unspecific noises]
Delores has a really profound effect on the nuns,
"Mary Clarence, it is one thing to rabble-rouse, to sweep into town and declare a holiday"
But being in the convent for less than two months has an equally profound effect on her.
And what is it about being in the convent that affects Delores?
It’s the choir.
I LOVE the choir.
And I love the smaller circle of choir nuns Delores ends up making friends with.
That little four-temperament quartet of feisty Mary Clarence,
"it's better than ice cream It's better than springtime!
It's better than sex!
...you know...I've heard."
nervy Mary Robert “out of bed you daisy-head!”,
and ebullient Mary Patrick “She’ll either grow up to be a nun or
a stewardess.
Coffee?” and cantankerous Mary Lazarus
“Hey babe!
Yeah sweetheart?” is just a joy to me, with their daisy alarm
clocks and their ice cream and their camaraderie.
Truly, it warms the cockles of my heart when it’s dark and cold and miserable outside,
and I too want to have love and compassion and sisterly bonding
(ha, see what I did there)
And don’t even get me started on Maggie Smith as an old-fashioned leader trying to
find a place in a brave new world.
"I am a relic.
And I have misplaced my tambourine"
But what I love about that is that Delores isn’t content to let Sister Mary McGonagall’s
talents go to waste.
I mean sure, they butt heads but they don’t go all Bride of Christ Wars on each other.
They come to respect each other no matter how different they are, and I love it.
And what is it that changes Delores?
What is it about her time in the convent, with the choir, with those people that affects
her so profoundly?
Love!
Not romantic or sexual love, but the deep and abiding care and respect and friendship
that the nuns have for her as a person, and their utter devotion to loving her and doing
good and serving God and all of that stuff.
The movie revolves around the Delores and the nuns and the relationships that they have
with each other, and you know, no nuns fall in love with random dudes, and for this I
am profoundly grateful!
I mean, I would tell you that this movie passes the Bechdel test, but...duh.
Sister Act is ALL ABOUT women having conversations with each other about their callings, and
God, and helping people, and music and you know...just whatever.
Delores gets thrown into a place with a bunch of women with whom she has nothing in common!
OR DOES SHE?
I mean, like Delores, the choir aren’t actually that good at singing either.
It’s not their amazing singing skill that attracts attention, they’re mostly quite
average.
It’s their novelty and their enthusiasm and their sheer zest for life that does it.
That being said, the music is indelibly ear-wormy.
But as much as the music is indelibly ear-wormy, it’s the relationships that I watch for
more than the singing.
Gosh, I hope they don’t screw that up if they do a remake.
But hey.
Even if they do, we’ll always have Whoopi.
So happy new year, everyone.
Go in peace and love and all that good stuff.
Be good to each other, don’t forget to like share subscribe and/or Patreon, and I will
see you next month.