hey everyone this week's video topic is
something that I know many of us
struggle with how do we recover from
sexual abuse and how long does it take
so stay tuned so like I said this week's
video topic is sexual abuse and how do
we recover from it and I've told many of
you to get this book the courage to heal
workbook because it's amazing of it I
just love this book the verbage the way
that she writes it Laura Davis is a
person who has been sexually abused to
herself and that's why she's so
passionate about recovery from it she
even uses the term survivor instead of
victim and just the way that she does
the way that she walks us through this
workbook is just beautiful so I would
encourage you to pick it up I have it on
my Amazon widget on my website and they
have it on Amazon on I'm sure every
internet site that sells books has it so
check it out and get it because it's
really great but the first thing I want
to touch on because I hear from many of
you that you've been abused in the past
and healing from sexual abuse can feel
awful and the first thing I always hear
from clients and even from my followers
is how long am I going to feel like this
is terrible it lasts forever
I feel like I've been feeling like this
forever and now I'm talking about is
feeling worse Laura and I have a video
about eating disorders and recovery and
why is it feel worse before it gets
better and the same thing kind of
pertains to this we have had a trauma
we have been abused someone has her
harmed us in a way that is just horrific
and terrible and I wish I could punch
them all in their stupid faces and beat
them up because I would and all of that
hurt and all of that pain and all that
trauma that we survived takes a lot of
time to heal from and we can't rush
through it we can't get this workbook
and oh I'm going to rush to the end I'm
going to do all of my questions
do all of this I'm going to go to my
group I'm going to see my therapist and
and I'll feel better
lickety-split because nothing heals like
time and each step in this workbook
needs appropriate time it may take us
two weeks to get through the first three
pages and that's okay it is a complete
and utter process just like any kind of
recovery it's a process it's not
perfection
we will backslide we will act out in the
way that we used to we will make these
strides where we express how we feel we
talk about it and we're moving forward
with our therapists and then we'll have
times where we have a really shitty day
and we have you know we cry and we act
out so know that that will happen that's
normal and that when we struggle so much
and we've had such a trauma we have to
be patient with ourselves okay so that's
just the first portion I just want you
all to know that this is a process it
will take time be patient with yourself
be loving do some self-care while you're
working through this okay
because it will get a little bit worse
before it gets better because oftentimes
we've been stuffing it down and we
haven't been talking about it and part
of the therapy and part of the growth
process is to put words to it describe
it talk about it in detail and I know
you're all like Kati that smells
terrible but it's all part of the
healing process and I promise I wouldn't
recommend something or tell you
something that's not true okay so the
first portion of the courage to heal
workbook is great she talks about
creating the survival skills for healing
and one of the main survival skills is
creating safety and the reason that we
talk about safety so much is because as
a child of sexual abuse we didn't feel
safe there was a place or a person or a
time in every day or every week or
whatever where we did not feel safe and
someone stole that from us and we have
to get it back so the first thing I want
you to take time on and this is kind of
your homework for this week and maybe
next week and maybe the week after is to
think about these questions have I ever
felt safe
this can be yes no maybe I can't
remember it's okay but have you ever
felt safe and if the answer is yes then
I want you to describe that time what
about it made you feel safe what was
included is it my mom and grandma were
there and we were on a vacation and you
know I felt very sick you just let me
know paint the picture of how it is that
you know that you felt safe and if you
haven't if the answer to the first
question was no I've never felt safe in
my life I still don't feel safe I live
on my own and I still wake up and
screaming you know night terrors or
whatever then I want you to think what
would have to take place and what would
have to happen in order for you to feel
safe okay
now I know that this is sounds very
simple but it's very difficult and I
want you to take time on it I want you
to think about it I want you to Rack
your memory and think back and know if
there has been a time and what was
involved because from this we're going
to kind of create our own safety plan
for working through this trauma and we
need to be able to return to that safe
place does that make sense I know this
is really intense and I'm trying to
break it down so that it's you know more
manageable and so I would also the last
little thing along with feeling safe is
I want you to think about any beliefs
that you may have if you say no I've
never felt safe Kati never in my entire
life I want you to write down the
beliefs that you have that have kept you
from feeling safe now these can be
beliefs and experiences like everyone
I've ever trusted has hurt me every
person that I've ever loved has let me
down let's see I can't depend on anyone
I don't know how to feel safe I want you
to take the time and kind of think about
that as well because all of these pieces
of the puzzle that we're going to work
on and I will do many videos on this if
you want me to keep working through this
and taught touching on this topic give
this a thumbs up because I know this is
a topic a lot of a struggle with and I
want to make sure that I'm giving you
helpful tools to use on your own time
okay so pick up this workbook and take
your time thinking about how
can I feel safe have I felt safe before
do I feel safe now what needs to happen
in order for me to feel safe and then we
will take it to the next chapter which
you have to subscribe to my channel to
get because I will put out more videos
on this topic and utilizing this
workbook so if you want to follow along
with me you can pick this up and we'll
keep working on this as we work to
recover from sexual abuse stay tuned
you