Welcome to Rewind's Relationship Rankings.
Today we're going to break down and rank
Carly Shay's past relationships.
I don't have a boyfriend!
I mean, I want it really bad, but I don't have one.
Okay, so it's mostly
some of the guys she kind of sort of dated.
- Awesome, let's-- - Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Where are you going there, partner?
In order to rank Carly's relationships, we've created
a tier list of categories that best suit each suitor.
So you think my videos are funny?
Let's get to it. First up on our list,
we have one of Carly's crushes,
Jake Crandall.
We should hang out sometime.
- Something wrong? - No, I just swallowed my gum.
Jake, Jake, Jake...
Sweet and charming Jake.
At first we thought for sure Jake was top tier material.
I mean, he had it all. The good looks, the charm
and apparently, the ability to sing.
- You play guitar? - And sing a little.
Really? Because Sam and I have been talking about
maybe having live music on the show.
Would you want to do a song?
Definitely.
[singing off-key] ♪ You're so beautiful ♪
♪ I need the world to see ♪
Well, we can't completely fault Jake
for the terrible singing voice.
However, after Freddie was able to work some computer magic,
the world believed Jake could actually sing.
You know the rest from there.
Carly kissed Freddie on the nose as a thank you,
and Jake took it the wrong way.
I'm back with Steph,
and now I don't feel weird
about getting between you and Freddie.
Me and Freddie?
[laughs] Freddie and I aren't dating.
Oh, come on, I saw you kiss his nose.
Oof, this is a tough one.
On one hand, we hate that Jake didn't talk to Carly
before getting back with his ex.
And on the other hand, it was pretty cool
of him to respect Freddie.
I think it's safe to say Jake belongs in the middle here.
[shushes]
You talk too much.
Next up, we have Shane.
Whichever one of us Shane kisses first
gets to date him.
As you can already tell,
this relationship was doomed from the start.
Both Carly and Sam had a crush on Shane,
which led to a fight when Sam walked in on them
about to kiss.
You probably remember how this one ended, too.
[screaming over each other]
Carly, Sam.
Girls!
I don't know what's up with you two,
but I've had enough of it.
I've seen girls get competitive over a guy before
but you two are out of control.
But, Shane--
You girls call me when you learn to be a little more...
[screaming]
This relationship went down fast.
To be fair, Shane was an all around decent guy
who had no clue he was being preyed on
like a chunk of meat.
But at the same time, he never really
committed to Sam or Carly.
That's why we put him here.
Nevel?!
Everyone remain calm.
Carly only dated Nevel in an alternate universe
when she made a wish that her brother was normal.
Trust me, everyone was weird in this episode,
and Carly was having none of it.
I want you to be single and lonely again!
And I want you to leave the country.
And nobody even likes you!
Uh, um, uh...
This one's almost too easy.
We all know where Nevel is going on this list.
He's a bottom tier guy.
[screaming]
This is a fun one.
The resident bad boy Griffin.
We found him in the garage on your bike.
I was bringing it back.
I didn't steal it.
Took it for a little joyride.
At first, Carly couldn't stand Griffin and his mischief ways.
But after talking, Carly realized there were
more layers to Griffin than he originally led on
and she started to like his bad boy vibe.
He crashed the motorcycle.
Yawn.
Ah...!
You poor thing.
Oh, I'm gonna puke.
Griffin's bad boy persona was quickly squashed
when Carly discovered his obsession
with Pee Wee Babies.
Um...
What are those?
- On the shelf there? - Uh-huh.
Those are Pee Wee Babies.
Whose are these?
Mine.
Pretty sweet, huh?
Griffin's Pee Wee Baby collection is weird enough,
but his apparent anger issues, thieving tendencies,
and all round personality traits
are moving him way down on our list.
Y'all might hate us for this, but we're putting Griffin
toward the bottom.
- Hey, Austin. - Hey.
Wow, you look great.
I was just gonna say that to you.
Okay, okay, we're all super attractive here.
Austin, the boy Carly met while speed dating.
We had high hopes for Austin
since him and Carly connected immediately.
Unfortunately, Austin had way too much to say.
As I was saying--
You guys ever been to Fresno?
Shut up!
- What? I was just-- - Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
What's your deal?
My deal is you haven't let me finish one sentence all night
and I can't take it anymore.
It's like you won't even let me--
What are you trying to say?
Get out of here!
Honestly? Deserved.
Austin turned out to be the worst.
We would say more about him, but there just isn't more to say
other than he belongs at the bottom. Bye!
A charm bracelet?
It's one of a kind.
Like you.
You're amazing.
Where do we even begin with this one?
Steven.
We might finally have someone worse than Nevel here.
Is Steven, a.k.a. Carly's boyfriend,
cheating on Carly with this chick, Tori Vega?
No, he's not.
Dude--
He told me I'm one of a kind.
Uh, spoiler alert,
Steven was cheating on Carly
with that chick Tori Vega.
A charm bracelet?
Yeah, it's one of a kind.
Like you.
Okay. That hurt.
It hurt us, too.
We simply don't tolerate cheaters on Rewind.
Steven belongs below the bottom of this tier list.
He's the worst. And that's that.
You know, you're quite charming.
Well, you have nice eyes.
They say the eyes are the windows to the soul.
Well, I don't have a boyfriend,
so why don't you open up a window?
Smooth.
Kyle was one of Carly's most intelligent flings.
So, your ex girlfriend...
Yeah.
I don't mean to sound snobbish, but...
you know, if a girl's not intelligent,
then what's the point?
Okay, we're picking up some judgy vibes from Kyle.
Carly was completely entranced by Kyle's good looks,
and decided to pretend to be smart to impress him.
You probably know how that ended.
I'm not as smart as you thought I was.
I mean, I'm not smart like you.
I suppose you're going to leave now
'cause you think I'm all dumb?
No.
No?
I'm going to leave because you were dishonest with me.
That's worse than being dumb.
Kyle wasn't wrong here.
Carly did lie to him, and that's never okay.
However, Kyle's obsession with intelligence
is a real downer,
and that's why we're moving him down a few tiers.
Just keep kissing those frogs, Carly.
This prince can wait.
And so the prince waited.
There are so many things we can say about Freddie,
but his undying love for Carly makes him
one of the most dedicated and lovable guys in her life.
Do you believe in love at first sight?
Yes, I do. I always did.
Freddie is so committed to Carly
he even saved her life by risking his own.
It was only then that Carly realized
how much Freddie cared about her.
I don't feel like a hero.
Well...
You are one.
To me.
Even though Carly ended up moving away in the end,
we know their love is still strong.
We also know that Freddie is a top tier guy
and he deserves all the love in the world.
Well, that's all the time we have for ranking today.
If you enjoyed this video, be sure to comment
whose relationships you want us to rank next
and let us know if you agree with all of our rankings
or if you think we did Nevel dirty.
You feel it, Carly?
You feel the rue?
You feel it?!