- Hi, it's Matt.
And it's time for an ill advised lockdown haircut.
(fanfare)
My hair is getting a bit long.
I'm finding it hard to see.
If I pull it down it goes past my nose.
If I'm cycling and I put the helmet on,
then I really can't see unless I'm constantly doing that
to swipe it out of the way.
So I bought some scissors off Amazon.
I've never cut any hair before,
but I've had my hair cut and watched what they do.
I know they do the whole pull it down
and snip vertically thing.
So I think I'm just going to do that to my fringe
and see how bad it comes out (laughing).
So to start, I think I need wet hair.
So I'll be back in a second,
showered and wearing a top I haven't slept in.
And as if by magic, my hair is now wet.
I don't know if I mentioned this before,
but I've got no experience.
So let's open the scissors.
Okay, so the one thing I've worked out
from having my haircut for 34 years
is that you hold it and then you snip
up or down, not across.
And you may not be surprised to learn
that I don't own a comb until now.
So let's comb it too.
(plastic crinkling)
I wonder how long hairdressers study for?
(plastic crinkling)
I've got a pointy comb.
Right then.
I'm thinking I'm going to comb this out
so it's all reasonably straight rather than a big tangle.
God, look how long it is.
Then snip a small amount off.
As much as I'd like to do the sides
and the back and everything,
I don't think I can do that without buggering it up.
Does that mean I'm going to end up with a mullet
if I'm cutting my hair shorter at the front?
All that matters is that I can see so I can cycle.
(laughing)
And go about my day.
Right then.
Well, that's a look.
(scissors clattering on table)
I'm sure at least one of you watching this
is gonna be some kind of hairdressing professional wincing.
Don't know how to do this.
Don't know how much to do at once.
Shall I do that?
I've just thought I'm going to get hair everywhere.
Ah!
Oh, trying to do this back to front in a mirror is hard.
Well, oh no, that's really hard.
Okay, I'm gonna have to look up
and do it with my eyes instead.
I can't even focus on that, that's really hard.
(scissors snipping)
(laughing)
It's just like some kind of spatial awareness problem.
Well, that's shorter.
I'm not going to cut too much off
because the thing with curly hair is that it springs up.
And one of the problems I've had over the years
is finding a hairdresser that knows how to deal
with curly hair and doesn't cut it to a certain length,
forgetting that when it dries,
or a day later after I've washed it,
it's all gonna condense up again.
'Cause by constantly pulling it,
it kind of straightens it out a bit.
I'm only talking from experience here
rather than any actual hairdressing knowledge, obviously.
Oh, what if I did was that?
Oh, but I'm right handed.
Or can I comb with my left hand?
I'm so right handed.
Uh, uh (laughing).
This is a terrible idea.
I don't know what I'm doing (laughing).
Kind of want to get a bit of the stuff I've cut
as a reference.
There we go, I've got some there.
I know cutting your fringe is a thing people do at home
when they've got longer hair.
Oh look, you can see the bit I've cut
versus the bit I haven't cut.
(scissors snipping)
Ah, that's my finger!
Ooh, I've cut my finger.
Okay, I've sorted the cut on my finger, let's carry on.
So I've done the very middle of this,
and now I need to go out to the side,
'cause otherwise my fringe is just going to be nnn, eeah.
(laughing)
God, it's dried bloody quickly.
Why can it never dry this quickly when I want it to be dry?
Maybe if I hold it longer and just be careful not to...
Right, let's compare that.
I can see the bits I've cut
'cause it's got (indistinct) comb.
That's what a comb is for,
making everything line up straight, isn't it?
Suppose I've got the advantage of the curly hair here,
in that it is all going to spring up and be a mess.
So it'll be harder to tell what I've done.
Well, I can see where I've cut.
I've cut here.
Kind of cut here at a different length,
cut here at the same length.
Yeah, so, you can see a bit I've not done quite right.
Let's do the middle of that then.
(scissors snipping)
That's better, that's better.
Comb, that's what a comb is for.
Oh yeah, there's hair on the floor.
Now, this bit needs to be shorter.
But if I cut it short, then this bit's long.
Then it's not gonna match, is it?
Because if all my hair here is up here,
and then suddenly it all drops down,
that's gonna look shit.
So I've gotta at least consider that I don't have the skill
to be able to do much about it.
But if any of you professionally cut hair,
let me know in the comments.
And let me know what's made you wince the most so far.
(comb clattering on the table)
(scissors snipping)
I might go and wet my hair a bit,
'cause this bit's quite dry.
Okay, that's wettened a bit.
My hairdresser has a spray thing, fft, fft, fft,
to mist my hair while he's cutting it.
Do you think he'll notice that I've hacked this myself?
This I haven't done as short as I've done the other side.
(scissors snipping)
Tell you what, the front of these scissors
is nowhere near as sharp as the middle.
Unsurprisingly, 'cause that's how scissors work,
but I thought that was the whole point
of hairdressing scissors.
Then again, I spent what. seven quid on these?
Rather than the shit loads that professionals
will normally spend I assume.
If you can get kitchen knives that are a couple of quid
or 700 quid,
(scissors snipping)
then I assume hairdressing scissors come the same as well.
Okay.
That bit's a bit long.
The reason I'm actually doing this,
is the desired outcome is,
I don't have hair in my eyes
and no one can tell that I've hacked at it
because it's curly.
I'm normally quite good at mental spatial transformation
where I'm doing, well, I can rotate objects in my head.
If I'm using Google maps or something,
I have- always have the map at north at the top
and I can work out whether,
(scissors clattering on table)
you know, up on the map means left or right in real life.
I can do that straight away.
So I'm surprised how hard I'm finding it to
control these scissors in the mirror.
(scissors snipping)
Right, what have we got here?
That side's top of the eyes that side's way too long.
Okay, let's do this, right then.
(scissors snipping)
I've just realised my hand is sliding down my hair
throughout all of this.
So the longer I'm holding it, the less I'm cutting off.
(scissors snipping)
I should have got one of the smock things
or worn some sacrificial clothes.
How's that look?
I've definitely cut a thing.
This is looking way too short now.
But I've cut that much off, bloody hell.
Okay.
I don't have any massive chunks in the way.
All I've got is these bits now.
Which are the same length as each other,
but nowhere near the length of the fringe.
If I had any kind of mastery here,
I would try and do them like halfway in between
so there's like a, I dunno, a gradual curve.
Maybe I should have watched a tutorial (laughing).
Maybe I would have found more resources
if I'd have remembered that Americans call fringe bangs.
See, this is one of those things I've always thought
I'd be able to guess out and not do
a completely terrible job of someone else's hair.
I daren't do it.
(scissors snipping)
None of my housemates want me to do it on them.
Not that I've been gagging to.
And I don't trust any of them to touch mine.
I'm going to dry it,
then we can see what it's turned out like.
It'll do.
It's very obviously shorter here, but not here (laughing).
But if I start doing this bit,
then that means I have to do that bit,
and I can't reach round.
I'm having a hard enough time reaching at the top,
nevermind at the back and the sides.
And all of you who are about to comment saying,
"Do a number two all over."
No, fuck off. (laughing)
But the main thing is that I can see.
Hopefully it hides a bit more once it's properly dry.
I'll check back in an hour after it's dried a bit.
What I feared has happened.
I think I need to do some more.
The sides are just sticking out.
Shall I just go at it and maybe just do these bits?
Just gonna do it dry.
Ahh.
(laughing)
So I did the bottom layer,
now do I have to do a slightly higher layer?
(scissors snipping)
I shouldn't have even started, should I?
Ooh, there's some greys in there, isn't there?
(scissors snipping)
Oh, that was a big clump that fell off then.
Kind of going for the top bit, thinking that,
well if it's all all coming out here in like a triangle,
then the top bit, if that ends here,
then, I don't know (laughing).
♪ I know nothing about this ♪
(scissors snipping)
Right, at this point, I want to do the further backy bits
rather than the fronty bits I think.
(scissors snipping)
Trying to use some kind of thinking
before grabbing bits of hair and hacking at them,
but I can't articulate them into words.
Well, that was a lot.
Well, it feels like it's not as sticky-outy.
I'm going to leave it at that.
What do you think?
Can you even tell
that it was done by me rather than a professional?
Given that my whole style is just messy fluff anyway.
Let me know in the comments how you think I did.
Im @MattGrayYes on all of the socials,
and I don't think I'm gonna do another haircutting video
on this channel, I'll be honest (laughing).