unlike things to here at a wedding or
funeral it was always Alan's dream to be
buried with his wife so this afternoon
we shot her all the tables are named
after mine my wife's favorite films I
know it's quite crowded over there on
the human centipede but if y'all squeeze
in together you'll be fine oh thank you
no I've had more than enough free
Prosecco
I know it's traditional for the bride to
have something blue I just don't think
you should have dug up grandma just
because he was morbidly obese doesn't
mean he can't be buried with dignity
daddy get the forklift
[Applause]
in life it was a strong confident and
capable man excelled at everything he
did
apart from swimming obviously at least
George died doing what he loved
heroin I know it's cause for me as
father of the bride to give my daughter
away but I'd like to try something
different
and if you look on the back of today's
order of service you'll see a picture of
Ethel when she was much younger I think
we all agree it's one for the wank Bank
today is not a sad day it's a
celebration because after all Trevor was
a prick
right side or Grimm's sight I don't know
I them both why is she drove into
oncoming traffic we will never know
perhaps Vera by name
ashes to ashes dust to dust
never whatsapp while walking he got hit
by a bus we choreographed our own first
dance because we are it's funny
no I just realize this is good I've
never actually met a Scottish Widow
sadly today we all know exactly where
Wally is
I congratulate the bride's mother on how
well she looks tonight although not as
well as she'd look on my deck
[Applause]
my goodness my goodness yes that is a
lovely ring now pop your trousers back
on
does anybody else find there's a
seriously inconsistent tone at this
wedding or funeral
Raymond was a man of many parts none of
them work that's why he's dead
[Music]