[CLEARS THROAT] [BACKGROUND GUITAR MUSIC]
Doctor's handwriting.
Politicans.
Lack humor.
You get home at the end of the day, and you think, what have I done today?
People sticking things in odd places.
I think the strangest thing I saw was a bust of Mozart?
A guy comes in, bold as brass...
Dressed completely in black leather, sits in the waiting room..
[VIBRATING NOISE, BZZ-.. BZZZ..]
An upside down Cognac bottle, you know the one that's kind of like a globe?
Um, and that was... in.. in somebody's rectum, and -
How big is that?!
Ehm, pretty big!
But you know, all credit to them, you know.
Once we got it out, like.
"You can keep that."
When... patients get a little bit aroused.
[LAUGHS] ...You've had that, really?
I kind of recognized him, we were trying to work out where we knew each other from.
Erm... and he kept asking. So he came over and was like asking questions he's like, 'oh, where do you...? Like, where do you? where are you from?'
And we're both from London. 'Where do you work?' And I told him the hospital I worked in.
And his face went /white/ and then I realized, it finally clicked, that I had seen him in my sexual health clinic a couple of weeks before.
And that bleep going off that one more time.
Oh, the sound of the bleep. Yeah...
It just gets louder and louder.. the more tired you get, the louder it gets.
And then it just happens three or four times in a row! [LAUGH] You know.
My wife worked until two o'clock in the morning before, the day before our wedding. Because she couldn't get the time off.
Having to swap with your colleagues..
So you end up working four weekends in a row, you know, five long days.
And then something ridiculous after, you know, just to go to that one concert.
And I'm sure you've had the twelve o'clock wake ups.
Yeah.
The midnight 'damn, I'm not done'.
The nurse is like, 'Oh, doctor! The patient hasn't passed urine for ten hours.'
You know.. hold on...
Neither have I!
I don't think I have either.
I remember going home on the tube after a night shift and... just not being able to breathe.
We just have ten minutes of YouTube time where we just watch cat videos.
That's beautiful.
Ten minutes of cat time, that should be like in a contract!
I think it really works!
I'm sorry that the NHS pays for this, but you don't have to pay for my therapy because I get cat therapy.
Making 'loads of money'.
Yeah, I mean, we make 'loads'. Soooo much money.
Like with anything, you get 2% at the top who earn quite a lot.
But like, you know, after all the hours and the training and the expenses, you know you earn like less than 14-15 quid an hour.
On the plus side though with money, you don't get time to spend it, so it's quite easy to save.
'Doctors leaving the NHS'
That is happening.
Australia, New Zealand, America.
Yep, anywhere.
[LAUGHS] Basically anywhere.
You hear of your friends who have moved to Australia to work as doctors.
And they've got put up in houses on beaches, they're earning twice as much as you, and they get /respected/.
They get respected by the country and by the government.
Different politicians and different governments just like... bowl in and do their own idea.
But they don't - they don't ask anybody.
Genuinely one of the hardest things is getting up in the morning and going to work and walking past the newspaper stand
And wondering how many headlines are going to be attacking the NHS.
People who have never worked in a hospital, they have no idea about healthcare, they can't do basic mathematics.
These are the people who are responsible for the future of our NHS. That really upsets me.
'What's the hardest part of being a doctor'?
I mean besides the hours, the losing social life, typically maintaining relationships.
The lack of money for the hours you do, or the additional training you have to do.
Besides all that...
Yeah, what is hard? [LAUGHS]
It's when things go bad and you can't help it and there's nothing you can do.
I think one of the toughest things that you can do is erm when you tell patients that erm it's definitely not the worse thing you've ever seen.
And in your head you're like, 'this is the worst thing I've ever seen!' [LAUGHS]
That night where we had to make a decision that she couldn't do anything. We called the mom in, because we knew the baby wouldn't survive that night.
And the mom came, early twenties, and she held her baby. We took away all the wires and we just let the baby sleep in her arms.
I cried that night.That was one of most hardest things to ever see.
When you've got a sick child or baby, and everything is really hectic. And then you're doing all these things, and then they improve.
And it's, you know, it's because of you. You know, it's a pretty amazing feeling.
I mean, I've had a patient recently, she's my most favorite patient ever. She was a hundred years old and very, very demented.
Erm, and very confused, and you know, quite often it was very pleasantly confused.
She wouldn't talk a lot of sense, she'd kind of just sing and try to pull her night clothes off. You know, the standard stuff.
Having the time of her life.
Exactly, exactly! And I remember once, I was in her room. I think I was taking her blood or something
And she just recited this entire war poem, completely, completely perfectly from memory.
And... I literally burst into tears.
Aw.
And then after that, she went back to talking jibberish again.
And I was like, that is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life. And that is why I'm a doctor.
You know you get the rush, the palpitations, when you're in the middle of this.
You know, literally life or death situation. And, you're operating. And... you're just lost in it. I can't explain it.
It's absolutely... you know, I wouldn't change it for the world, I think. Yeah.
[BACKGROUND GUITAR MUSIC FADES]