- By the time I was 15 years old,
my mom, sister, and I had moved at least 25 times.
My father was an alcoholic.
I was getting government paid school lunches.
And I had a weekend job at a local bakery.
I was not surrounded by much ambition or inspiration,
but I knew I was given something special.
I yearned to do something important with my life,
but I couldn't find the words
to really explain this to anyone.
And even if I could, I doubt if I could find anyone
who'd be really all about my very optimistic ideas
for my future.
Then I stumbled across a book in a secondhand store
and it changed my life: The Magic of Thinking Big
by David J. Schwartz.
It brought my inner knowledge, my inner world to life.
The book heard me, it understood me.
It gave me support, ideas, and endless encouragement
for years.
Although the author died soon after I was born,
he became my mentor, my inner coach, my friend.
He taught me to set my goals high,
take action toward them every day,
and to think big without apology.
He told me not to let any small circumstances
or small thinkers around me
make me small-minded.
His book turned me from feeling like a restless teenager
into a formidable force in the world.
I still cherish my original
and very enthusiastically highlighted copy.
The point being, I know the power of a good self-help book.
The strength given to me by the books I've read
vastly outweighs any other source of influence in my life.
I've read hundreds since that day,
and I've found common themes throughout all of them.
From the spiritual side to business advice
and age old wisdom from contemporary authors,
the same golden threads tie their words together.
Here I'm sharing with you
five top lessons that I've learned
from 500-plus self-help books.
But first, if you haven't already,
be sure to hit the subscribe button and the little bell icon
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These are the five key principles I've learned.
Number one, take 100% responsibility for your life.
This is Jack Canfield's number one success principle.
It encapsulates the importance of owning
every part of your life, including, and especially,
your mistakes.
There is neither success nor joy to be had in blaming others
and relinquishing control to other people
for your circumstances.
To create the life you want, you have to
take sole responsibility for it.
Forget your parents, your exes, your opportunities,
or lack thereof you were given.
Your life's direction is entirely up to you, zero excuses.
Success has no prerequisites
and there is no quality, certification,
background, or nationality
that has a monopoly on your success.
It's up to you.
Number two, you're allowed to be anything that you want.
Inherent in every desire is the mechanics
for its fulfillment, Deepak Chopra writes
in The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success.
It's no accident that if you love to sing,
write, teach, build companies, fill in the blank,
you were given talent in this area
and you're supposed to be doing it.
The extent to which you use your gifts and capabilities
is entirely up to you.
Remember point number one?
But they exist to be shared and to serve others.
You have an obligation to be
who your heart knows you can be.
This way you can make your highest contribution to the world
and live regret free.
There are no accidents or unreachable goals
that exist within your desires.
Dreams don't know boundaries.
You're also worthy of receiving the blessings,
including financial blessings,
that result when you bring value to others.
Number three, your thoughts are everything.
In As a Man Thinketh, a book that some refer to
as the original text behind The Secret,
James Allen writes that with our thoughts,
we create our worlds.
And he's right about that.
It's beautiful, if not deceivingly simple.
Do you feel bad?
It's because of what you're thinking
in that precise moment that you feel bad.
Maybe something fear or guilt based.
Do you feel great?
If so, what you're thinking or feeling in that moment
is around gratitude or just satisfaction with the world,
or anticipation.
The best news is, every single thought can be changed.
You can choose to think a better thought
and therefore feel good in every single moment.
Every day in every way, always reach
for your highest feeling thoughts.
Focus on what you want; visualize.
The law of attraction works like the law of gravity.
It's real.
Every single area of your life right now
has been manifested as a result of your thinking.
So guard your thoughts like a pit bull.
And lose the negative people who like
to perpetuate the negative thinking, pronto.
Number four, love yourself, especially when
you don't "deserve" it.
In Life Loves You, Louise Hay suggests
looking in the mirror, into your own eyes, every day
and saying, "I love you; I really, really love you."
You don't need to be, do, or have anything different
to be worthy of your own love.
You are worthy because you exist.
When you love yourself, you allow yourself
to be the real you.
When your self love is high,
you vibrate at a different frequency.
It deflects fear and it inspires others
to be themselves too.
It's alluring, it's generous.
It keeps you present, and it allows you
to reject self-sabotaging behaviors.
You don't busy yourself with what other people are doing.
You understand that your needs matter
and that when you fail, sometimes it's okay,
because life is giving you a lesson
or some kind of detour, which leads us to number five.
There's always a higher power at work,
and it's on your side.
Every biography I've read,
from Steve Jobs' to Maya Angelou's,
shares a similar truth.
Do your best and trust in a power that's bigger than you.
Here's a little secret: we're all afraid.
We all feel uncertain about a million things.
We're all just doing the best that we can.
But when you allow these principles
of ownership, action, thinking and self-love into your life,
you become this unstoppable force of good in the world.
Why? Because you're not alone here.
We're all connected, and we're all from the same source.
The higher power at work in our lives, you can call it God,
the universe, source energy, it doesn't matter,
is working right alongside you always.
In moments of discouragement,
you don't have to despair so quickly.
Remember that you have already survived everything
that's already happened to you so far,
and you'll continue to do so.
The universe's helping hand is on-call,
waiting to lift you back up as soon as you center yourself
and allow these truths into your life.
In summary, every life is special.
You matter; your dreams matter.
It's up to you to take action
in the direction of those dreams.
And when you do, you'll be met halfway.
David J. Schwartz still talks to me
in the moments when I doubt myself,
even this morning when I'm writing something
and I'm thinking, gosh, how can I make this better?
I hear his voice saying, believe it can be done.
When you believe something can be done, really believe,
your mind will find the ways to do it.
Believing a solution paves the way to solution.
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