This is it.
Wow. Casa Josh.
Oh, this is so nice.
You're nice to look at, to not to look at,
to, I mean of course to look at.
I have to stop talking, stop talking, I'm sorry.
You're nervous. It's okay.
I'm a little nervous. Have a seat.
Okay.
I'm just amazed you were even on the app.
Well, you know, it's almost cuffing season,
so a girl's gotta be in the apps, foraging for winter.
I guess, but you're Alexandra Daddario.
You're beautiful. You're successful.
How are you even single?
Look, I mean dating is hard, Josh.
It doesn't matter who you are.
Let's just relax. We can have a good time.
Okay, how about some music?
I've got a really cool jazz playlist I think you'd like.
I love Jazz.
Amazing.
In fact, if you put Jazz on,
I might have to slip into something more comfortable.
Okay, Jazz it is.
I'll be right back.
Okay, bye. See you soon.
Come on, Josh. Don't screw this up.
Hey, did I ever mention how I saw Baywatch
50 times in the theater?
You didn't, but cool.
I'm an idiot. What's wrong with me?
Oh, that's more like it.
That's not what I was expecting.
Yeah, well my panda one's in the wash so.
Is this a furry thing?
So, what were we talking about.
Oh yeah, dating, it sucks so much.
I'm so sick of all the head games.
Right, right.
You know what, I poured some wine, how about we toast?
Oh, great. Oh, but fair warning, a little wine makes me go crazy.
Cheers.
Whoa.
So, the governments run by lizard people right
and they're the same people that are keeping Tupac
in the alien pyramids. Oh, and Matthew McConaughey
is actually a robot made of whiskey and plexiglass.
I have proof, do you want to see it?
Here.
See what?
Look.
You brought that on our date.
The answers are all here. Open your eyes, Josh.
Okay, I think we should just call it a night maybe.
This has been great, but I, no.
Sorry, I'm so sorry.
What?
I'm so sorry.
I told you that wine makes me go a little crazy.
I didn't say anything naughty did I?
No, not naughty so much as really factually irresponsible.
Oh, can you forgive me, please?
Oh course. Okay, great.
Se la vie.
Oh, my God, you speak French?
Un peu.
Okay, well if you speak French though,
I'm warning you I might do things
I'm ashamed of, wild things.
What are you doing?
No, no, no, no, no. No, no, not that.
That's my favorite plant.
What were we talking about?
You know what? I think we should call it a night, that's it.
Oh my God, no, no, no, wait. I scared you away.
I was trying to be sexy,
and I scared you away by being too wild, I'm so sorry.
No, that's not even it. Actually I was kind of turned on
by you ripping the apartment apart.
Really? Yeah.
Well, then what's the problem?
I was thinking about it, I can't be with someone
that thinks that the government is run by lizard people.
Everybody knows the government is run
by the illuminati, obviously.
The signs are there Alexandra, everybody knows it.
Vin Diesel told me. Look, it's all right here.
Don't you see. Look at it.
I've been working on this for months.
You are so ignorant.
You'll know soon enough. Everyone will know.
Bye, Josh.