Enjoy yourself. Welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show."
You're here. Thank you for watching.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Well, everyone loves good news.
Guys, you want to hear some good news?
-Yeah! -This morning, President Biden
announced that after days of negotiations,
railroad companies and unions reached a deal
to avoid a national rail strike. Yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Thank goodness.
Yeah, the President helped broker a deal
that went down to the wire. All night long, Biden was like,
"I think I can, I think I can, I think I can."
There's no way that there could have been
a rail strike under Biden.
I mean, he rode a train to work every day for 40 years.
That'd be like a tanning-bed shortage under Trump.
You know what I'm saying?
[ Laughter ]
Yeah, a strike would have meant
lots of Amtrak delays and cancellations.
And now that the strike has been avoided...
there will still be delays and cancellations.
I mean, it's just...
I saw that Mike Pence was in the news.
I guess he stopped at a college
and went to a basketball court and took a video.
Look at the video he posted.
Hey! Yeah.
He drained the shot. Yeah.
In fact, Pence was so impressive,
he actually is starring in a new basketball movie...
It's unbelievable.
I'm looking forward to it.
[ Applause ]
Some business news. Walmart has a new online feature
where you upload a seminude photo of yourself,
and then you can virtually try on the clothing
to see what it would look like on your body.
Kind of weird when a company is like,
"Go ahead. Just send us your nudes."
You go -- Well, this is fun.
The finalists for the National Toy Hall of Fame
have been announced.
And some of the toys include Lite-Brite.
Love Lite-bright.
Pound Puppies. -Oh.
-And Nerf. Of course, Nerf.
[ Applause ]
Of course, there were a lot of toys
that failed to make the cut this year.
Of course, first, there's Square Ball.
Next up is 10-Volt Slinky. That's a tough one.
And finally, of course, Mr. Mashed Potato Head.
It's just -- They didn't make it this year.
[ Applause ]
They didn't make it.
You guys, before we go any further,
I have to issue a quick apology.
On Tuesday, we here at "The Tonight Show"
forgot to acknowledge a very important holiday.
That's right.
I'm talking about National Bald is Beautiful Day.
It happened, and we didn't say anything,
so to anyone out there who celebrates,
I just want to say that I'm sorry.
[ Laughter ]
I know it's a special day for you,
and you deserve to feel special.
So, whoever you are,
I hope you had the best, shiniest, smoothest day,
even if you're hiding under an obvious toupée.
Uh, moving on. Here we go.
Some -- Some sports news.
Tonight was the debut of "Thursday Night Football"
on Amazon Prime Video.
[ Cheers and applause ]
It's a pairing -- It's a pairing
that actually makes more sense than you think. Watch this.
-This fall, Amazon is the home of "Thursday Night Football."
Because only Amazon can bring you the best throws...
[ Laughter ]
...the best tackles...
...and, of course, Daaa Bears.
-Unh!
-Amazon. We deliver the action straight to you.
-Yeah. Isn't that -- That's perfect. I think it's perfect.
[ Applause ]
Oh, and finally, you guys, did you hear about the new --
this new smoked-sausage recall?
It's not good. Check this out.
-And we have a recall alert for you tonight
on a product you may have in your freezer.
Sunset Farm Foods is recalling
their Georgia Special chicken and pork smoked sausage.
-What?! Aw, man!
I just bought a pack of that for my barbecue this weekend.
-I'm sorry about that, Tariq. -It's okay.
I've still got some other meats at home.
I'm talking fresh ground beef,
ground chuck, and ground sirloins.
-That sounds pretty good. -Yeah, yeah.
-I got them today at Schnucks on Mid Rivers Mall Drive.
I forget when I picked them up.
I think it was sometime after 10:15 in the morning,
but it was definitely before 2:30 in the afternoon.
-Oh.
-Oh, what? -Roll the clip.
-Schnucks is recalling ground beef sold in its store
on Mid Rivers Mall Drive.
This recall is for fresh ground beef, ground chuck,
and ground sirloin sold today
between 10:15 in the morning and 2:30 in the afternoon.
-What?! You've got to be kidding me!
-I'm sorry about that, Tariq.
-Man, I was gonna make surf and turf!
I guess I'll just have surf.
-That still sounds pretty good. -Yeah. You know me.
Always got Bumble Bee smoked clams in my kitchen.
I'm a certified seafood fan.
-Seafood fans may want to take a close look inside the kitchen.
Bumble Bee is voluntarily recalling
some of its smoked clams for safety concerns.
-Come on! -I'm sorry, Tariq.
I'm sure you'll figure something out for your barbecue.
-Whatever. No surf, no turf. I don't need to cook anything.
I'll just chill in my backyard.
Maybe kick back in one of my new outdoor metal hanging chairs.
I got them at TJX.
-Now to a recall alert for TJX customers.
The department-store chain is recalling
roughly 5,200 outdoor metal hanging chairs.
-Fine, but if I can't cook or sit,
I'm still going to get the yard looking fresh
with my new Sun Joe cordless lawn mower.
-That's cool. -Yeah, I usually try to get
the whole family out on the lawn
and then line the kids up around me.
They like to lay down in the grass and watch Daddy mow.
-We have a recall alert for Sun Joe cordless lawn mowers.
The company says the mower blade can detach unexpectedly.
-I'm over it, man!
I'm just gonna listen to some music on my new headphones.
-Oh, cool.
What brand are those? -HearMuffs.
-The FDA is recalling tens of thousands of HearMuffs
over exploding batteries.
They can rupture, burst, and then cause burn injuries.
-[Bleep] Damn it! That's it! I'm out of here!
-Come on, now. Hey.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Alright. Tariq's gonna cool down a little bit.
A lot of stuff. A rough weekend. We have a great show tonight.