My dear elegant ladies,
welcome back to another video
and today is Sunday
so I actually decided that
let's have a casual sit down
like chit chat video.
Usually, all my videos are more educational, more formal.
But I think today
would be nice to just kind of take the teacher's hat off
and put her on the side and just
have a personal conversation with you,
one on one type of thing.
And I want to hear from you in the
comments below.
Do you want more videos that are a little bit more personal,
where we just basically sit down together
and discuss and chat about things
that are perhaps relevant to discuss
that have to do with my niche,
with luxury lifestyle, high society
transformation and so on?
Let me know in the comments below
because I would love to hear from you.
OK. So today's topic is
actually quite relevant.
And the reason for that is because
my channel has grown quite a lot recently
and thank you universe for that.
But I also have a lot of newcomers
who are getting a little bit
confused with my message of elegance.
And I've noticed when I had a quick glance in the comment section
that people are taking it a bit to the extreme.
That's actually not really what I'm teaching. So I wanted to kind of clarify that in this video
and maybe share with you actually
what is my philosoph,.
what are my values and
what it is that I am teaching
and preaching here.
So the number one thing that
I've noticed a lot of people are
doing is putting elegance
into stereotype.
I know that it's a very common thing
humans do.
We love to put stereotypes of things. That's why we love judging things,
that's why we love jumping to conclusions because it saves us time.
But it becomes a bit problematic because
I feel like my message becomes lost in translation there.
When people are like, OK, she's talking elegance the stereotype is this.
That's basically what she's teaching. But no not at all!
I want you to give the bigger picture.
One of the things that I do
speak over and over again and
everything that I really talk about
is about balance and balance is
very important and people do forget that.
Like I just said, people like to go
either black or either white,
this kind of extremes.
People don't really want to understand that
there is a middle way that actually
tends to be the most successful and the most beneficial.
And if you just stick to that middle way, that's when you have success in life.
Now I speak about elegance on my channel because
throughout the years of my journey
in high society, I saw which type of women used to be more successful.
And those women had some form of
elegance to them.
Those women were not necessarily
Kate Middleton or part of the royal house.
Meaning that they were sitting there conservative, conservative clothing, picture perfect,
smile at the right time, never say the wrong thing.
And God forbid, you do an etiquette mistake.
No that's not the reality.
High society does not even look like that.
You do not have all these Kate Middleton's lines up in high society,
just sitting there and being so perfect and elegant.
There are so many different people in high society.
There are so many variations to
people and people like different things.
There is of course a community who
really like the more formal,
the more conservative, the more Kate Middleton elegant style,
if we can call it that way now
Now why I'm using Kate Middleton?
Like it's just a metaphor.
I am just trying to stereotype
what I'm noticing a lot of you think
it is what I'm teaching.
That I'm teaching a very strict and
rigid way of elegance
and that if you are anything
beyond that, that is considered
not classy
And that is considered wrong and
that is consider that you not going
to have any success with the
affluent people whether you're there for networking or dating,
that an affluent man will not want you
if you're not a Kate Middleton.
Ladies I'm not teaching this.
If you knew me in person,
you would also know that, that's not who I am as a person.
And that's why I wanted to take the
teacher's hat off today because
I think that perhaps people forget
sometimes that I am not
some etiquette or elegance
police sitting here
preaching.
I am actually a human being,
I'm here, I'm a normal person.
I like certain things in life, I like elegance,
I like sophistication I like all of that.
But that doesn't mean
that I'm there 24/7
and being a Kate Middleton,
being rigid and being boring and so on.
I actually made already a video about this,
where I shared my philosophy and shared the reality of
how high society works in terms of elegance.
Make sure you watch that video after this video.
But I really wanted to take into account that
elegance is very personal.
And there is multiple ways
how one can translate elegance
and they don't want you to
stereotype elegance because
that's when you are shooting
yourself in the foot.
That's when you are really putting
borders on you and
not adding the necessary flexibility
that you need in life and that you
especially need on this journey.
My students in my only finishing school, they know what I mean with
flexibility because that's something
that I really teach about, this is very very important.
It's something that will achieve your success.
If you are being rigid, if you are like trying to be somebody you're not,
if you're not allowing yourself to
have a personality or a character
and just trying to be this picture-perfect person then, I'm sorry but it's not going to work.
You need authenticity
and you need to have character in life to get anywhere in life.
And especially in high society
because trust me people are not
easily impressed there.
So what really makes it work
is when you have a dose of personality.
But what doesn't work is when there is too much personality,
when there are too many things that make people
around you feel awkward, embarrassed or put off.
And that's why I talk so much about elegance.
Like you have to really understand that I speak to a large audience meaning that
I'm speaking to perhaps
some woman who might need quite
a lot of help.
Those, in particular, should really listen careful and
really perhaps follow what it is
that I teach.
But I have a lot of women watching my channel,
who are quite involved.
They don't have to follow everything
with strict and precision because
they have things under control.
So those women you know where you are,
you know how much you have to
take into account.
There is another reason why I speak
a lot about elegance and that is
because if you are a woman who do
not come from a wealthy background,
you are let's say,
a "newcomer" on the elite social scene,
then you have to have a particular strategy.
And usually those ladies who were
presenting themselves more elegantly
and behaving elegantly and
being an elegant presentable woman,
those were the ladies who didn't get
the gold digger stamp that didn't
get kind of alienated from high society, from elite people
and also had better success rates with men.
But these women are not necessarily
the Kate Middleton elegance, right?
They might not necessarily
be dressed conservative or fit into a certain stereotype.
And this is where I wanted to come to.
Well, what is an elegant lady then that I teach?
Well elegance is a mindset that's
number one.
Number two, elegance is self-respect,
meaning that you present yourself
the best way possible.
Elegance is about reducing your bad habits and you don't have to be
ultra-strict or ultra-proper or being
some form of extreme way of elegance.
You can add as much elegance to
your persona as you want.
You can have different levels because
all of us wear different people, we require different levels.
Like I said in the beginning, some ladies might need quite
a big dose of elegance
if their persona
is going to a not come across as this kind of
stereotype of a gold digger woman.
So these women might need a little
bit more elegance and a little bit
conservativeness because maybe
they have a very strong
persona about them a very,
I don't know, provocative vibe about them.
There can be many things that put them in the more challenging light.
So in order to balance that lights up, they need to add more elegance to it.
Because then it just becomes a perfect blend
versus there are some women,
they are just how can I say,
they don't need that much work
so they don't actually need to add that
much elegance to them because the way they are is fine.
So it's all about who are you,
what are your needs, what are your goals,
what do you want to associate yourself with.
Do you have a stereotype hanging after you?
Do you have a bad reputation?
Do you have people who have misconceptions about you and so on?
So, for instance, that's the work we're doing
in my online finishing school.
We are really looking into our image,
ourselves and really what will require for us to achieve our goals.
Each person's journey is different
and there isn't unfortunately just one approach.
You have to have the flexibility like I said, you really have to.
So then the question arises,
but what do actually affluent men want?
And I've spoken about many times how elegance is a rarity today.
There's a great abundance of provocativeness,
kind of not necessarily elegance, right?
The opposite
And that becomes nothing special. So I've actually noticed
there is an increase in affluent men
who really value when
a woman is being elegant.
It doesn't mean that they want
somebody who is stiff and boring,
who has no personality, no.
Affluent men, they want a woman with charisma, with personality.
They want somebody that they can
have a good time with that they enjoy.
That woman does not necessarily have
to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
She doesn't have to be at all, a Kate Middleton lookalike.
Actually, she can be any type of way.
There are many different types of affluent men out there who require
different types of women.
Some affluent men hate elegance,
they don't like it.
They might want something more
perhaps provocative.
That group of men exists and I've spoken about this before.
But you have to take into account that
if you are presentable,
if you act with certain skills
and manners and if you are
someone, a person can be proud of
and somebody who is well-represented, then you're going to be fine.
What's most important is that
you keep a big dose of who you are.
People need to feel like you are authentic, that you are your self, that you have a character,
that you are able to have a laugh with people, have a conversation,
that you're able to have fun and that you're not perfect.
None of us are perfect, ladies.
I am not perfect.
You are not perfect, nobody's perfect
and we are not supposed to be perfect and that is so important to remember.
Please do not think that being elegant is about being picture-perfect, rigid
boring stereotype conservative,
I don't know.
I don't even have words what it is
that I'm trying to explain.
Ladies, be yourselves.
Focus on refinement.
Refinement is important. Refinement is removing bad habits
that might ruin our reputation,
our appearance, our overall presentation.
That's what School Of Affluence is about.
That's what I teach with becoming more elegant.
I am not here preaching Kate Middleton's strictness
and being part of the royal house.
If this was a school
about how to enter the royal house
then I would rename my channel.
But it's not.
Please, ladies, there are so many
different variations to elegant women.
Please let's break the stereotype.
I do not want to promote a stereotype because then we might as well go back in time.
Even though actually I don't mind
the elegance that used to be back in the days.
But the whole point
is that what I'm teaching here is
about women having options in life.
Women having the freedom to choose.
So for me it's important that you
are able to choose your elegance.
It's important for me that you're
able to be whoever
you want to be.
But you are a well-behaved
sophisticated woman, in whatever way that translates to you,
in what unique way that translates to your personality, to your uniqueness.
Your uniqueness is so so so important.
Let's polish off the negative things. Let's polish up the positive things.
Keep the uniqueness.
When you will do this, you will definitely have success in high society.
I hope you have enjoyed this video.
Please do continue discussing this
in the comments section below.
What is your take on elegance?
And of course, do you want me to do more casual chitchat videos?
Are you are feeling a little bit more clear now on what I mean
with elegant ladies when I call you that and when I teach you that in my videos.
So that we don't have any more confusion and
I do want you to have a look now
at my next video that I did in the past on a similar topic,
Are All Elegant Ladies Stiff and Boring?
Because we really need to debunk that myth.
So have a look at one and I willsee you in the next video!