[ Heart beating ]
[ Eerie music plays ]
♪♪
-Hello, Jimmy.
-Come play with us.
-Come play with us, Jimmy.
-Forever and ever.
-And ever, and ever.
♪♪
-Okay. What should we do?
-Want to help us pick paint colors?
-Sure.
-And murder Higgins?
-You bet.
-This one's called "redrum."
-Ooh, nice.
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
-From Studio 6B in Rockefeller Center
in the heart of New York City,
it's "The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon."
-♪ Hey, hey hey, hey ♪
-Tonight, join Jimmy and his guests...
Musical guest...
And featuring the legendary Roots crew.
-1775.
-And now, here he is, Jimmy Fallon!
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
-Hey, come on. Guys...
[ Cheers and applause continues ]
Oh, that's very nice. I appreciate that.
Thank you very much. Hey!
Welcome! Nice to see you!
Nice to see you.
Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome!
-♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
-Oh, my goodness. Enjoy yourself.
Welcome, everybody.
Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show."
You're here. You have made it.
Thank you for watching at home.
Well, guys, everyone is talking about this --
early this morning, all flights across the U.S. were grounded
due to a failure with the FAA's computer system.
Yeah. Zero flights took off,
but somehow everyone's luggage still ended up in Pittsburgh.
[ Laughter ]
That's right. No flights took off.
It's never a good sign when you see a jumbo jet
taking the I-95 to Tampa.
You know what I'm saying? [ Laughter ]
It's never fun being stuck in an airport.
Families headed to Disney told their kids
the luggage carousel was the "It's a Small World" ride.
They're like, "Just calm down and sit next to the Tumi bag.
I'll take your picture." [ Laughter ]
Yeah, no one could fix the computer glitch.
One guy at the FAA said, "I don't know.
Maybe unplug it, plug it back in?
I don't know." [ Laughter ]
Meanwhile, the outage happened
while some planes were in the air.
If there's one thing you don't want to hear from your pilot,
it's "Attention, passengers -- do yourselves a favor
and stay off Twitter for a little bit."
[ Laughter ]
Thankfully, no one flying on JetBlue could see the news,
'cause all the TVs were broken. But I mean, that's --
[ Laughter ]
Wouldn't it be great if all this actually started
'cause some guy didn't put his phone
on airplane mode during takeoff? [ Laughter ]
"It's real? This does something?"
Of course, people were upset about all the flight delays.
Well, today, several airlines
made a statement about the outage.
For instance, Delta said...
[ Laughter ]
United said...
[ Laughter ] Southwest was like...
[ Laughter ] "Yeah."
And American Airlines said...
And Southwest continued...
Then JetBlue said...
And finally Southwest said...
[ Cheers and applause ]
Windows 95?
-Wow.
-Well, hey, listen to this. There was a report that the
Biden administration was considering a ban on gas stoves.
I don't know if you read about this.
Well, after backlash from both parties,
President Biden said that he is not in favor of the idea.
People stuck at airports have said,
"I've been at JFK for nine hours, but, by all means,
continue this important discussion
about gas freaking stoves!" [ Laughter ]
That's right, Biden said, "You can keep your gas stove,
but you have to wear an N95 while you use it."
[ Laughter ]
Some more political news -- today, New York Republicans
called on Congressman George Santos to resign,
and Santos responded, saying he won't.
But since it's Santos, that means he will, maybe.
[ Laughter ]
Santos said he's not a quitter, and he proved it
at the '92 Olympics, where he won five gold medals.
[ Laughter ]
Well, get this, after all the excitement
over the speaker of the house votes,
C-SPAN wants to add additional cameras
in the chamber so that it can cover
more than just special events.
They even released this message. Take a look at this.
-We here at C-SPAN are excited to bring you even more coverage
by adding additional cameras to the chambers,
including shots of the podiums,
shots of the House and Senate leaders,
and even a camera in Bernie Sanders' eyebrows.
-The price of Moderna is too damn high!
[ Applause ]
-"The new Netflix"? I don't know.
Some entertainment news -- Coachella just announced
all the artists performing at this year's festival.
And this is nice. [ Cheers ]
Yeah, they even went ahead and paired each band
with a perfect edible. -Oh.
[ Laughter ]
-That's right, Coachella just released this year's lineup,
but it seems like they took the name Coachella
a bit more literal this year. Watch this.
-Coachella is back, and we've got an incredible
lineup this year, including Bad Bunny,
Frank Ocean, Blackpink, Andy Reid, Pete Carroll,
Mike McCarthy, Phil Jackson, Mike Krzyzewski, Bill Belichick,
and America's favorite coach, Craig T. Nelson.
[ Air horns ]
Coachella. Don't miss it.
-Just -- I find that --
I'll see Craig T. Nelson. -Yeah.
-I'm down.
Switching gears. While the cost of other food
has declined in recent months, the price of eggs
still remain extremely high.
Now when you order eggs in a diner, the waiter's like,
"Get a load of Jeff Bezos over here."
[ Laughter ]
"Mr. Three Eggs. Must be nice, hey."
[ Laughter ]
"Must be -- Must be nice with those three eggs, this guy.
Oh, wow." [ Laughter ]
It's hard finding cheap eggs.
This morning, I bought a spinach and feta omelet
out of the trunk of some guy's car.
-Really? -Yeah.
Meanwhile, I saw that Guinness just announced
that they're raising the price of a pint in Ireland.
-Ooh.
-One politician suggested drinking water instead.
And doctors say he should be out of the hospital by Sunday.
[ Laughter ]
Speaking of beverages, Pepsi is replacing Sierra Mist
with a new drink to compete with Sprite,
and it is called Starry. Here's what it looks like.
Yeah.
It's called Starry, and just like Sierra Mist,
it's lemon-lime flavored
and sounds like it was named after a stripper.
[ Laughter ]
"Sierra Mist."
[ Dance music plays ]
[ Air horns ]
[ Laughter ]
-"Dr. Pepper." -Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
They're all named after soft drinks?
Hey, did you guys hear about the Mercedes recall?
It's not good, dude. Check this out.
-An important recall alert to tell you about this morning,
as Mercedes-Benz sounds the alarm over 124,000 vehicles
whose sunroofs might suddenly snap off while driving.
-Oh, man! I just bought a Mercedes-Benz.
-Oh, really? Geez, I'm sorry about that Tariq.
-It's okay. I still have my trusty Volkswagen Beetle,
so I'm all good.
-Oh. [ Laughter ]
-"Oh," what?
-Roll the clip.
-Here's an important recall alert for drivers this morning.
Volkswagen recalling nearly 40,000 of its Beetles
because of faulty airbags.
Inflators can explode with too much force and hurl shrapnel.
-What?! [ Laughter ]
-Yeah, that -- that's not good.
-How am I supposed to get around this week?
-You don't have any other way?
-I mean, I have an old four-wheeler.
I guess I could dust off my Polaris Sportsman
and Scrambler 1000 S all-terrain vehicle.
-Polaris is recalling the Sportsman
and Scrambler 1000 S all-terrain vehicles.
-Come on! -I'm -- I'm sorry, Tariq.
There's gotta be something you can do.
-No. N-No, Jimmy.
I'm just gonna stay at home and sit back and enjoy
some Member's Mark holiday m-macarons sold at Sam's Club.
-A consumer alert for you --
Member's Mark holiday m-macarons
sold at Sam's Club are being recalled.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-This January is a bust!
-There's gotta be something you can do.
-Well, is anything safe?
I'm gonna have to go buy groceries in Kansas
and only eat Sunsprouts -- [ Swallows ] -- from now on.
-We have a recall alert. If you buy groceries in Kansas,
Sunsprouts -- [ Swallows ] -- is recalling 1,400 pounds
of alfalfa sprouts. [ Laughter and applause ]
-That's it.
That's it, man. I'm locking myself inside,
just me and my washing machine,
safe from all problems and potential "janjer."
-A washing machine recall.
The problem and the potential "janjer."
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-So close. [ Both laugh ]
So close. -Yeah.
-Stay out of --
Tariq Trotter doesn't want to get any "janjer" over there.
Tariq Trotter. Thank you.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Hey, guys, I read that surgeons are warning against
leg-lengthening surgery...
[ Laughter ]
...a procedure that has become popular with men.
Yeah, it's very expensive.
In order to get approved by your insurance company,
you have to prove that nobody is swiping right on your Tinder.
[ Laughter ]
And finally, according to experts,
the friendliest city in the U.S. is Honolulu.
Unfortunately, since "aloha" also means goodbye,
Honolulu is also the least friendliest city.
[ Laughter and applause ] We have a great show tonight!