Transcriber: Alessandra Mero Reviewer: Maurício Kakuei Tanaka
This piece is entitled “Why I Scream.”
Maya Angelou so beautifully and poetically wrote down
“[I Know] Why the Caged Bird Sings.”
But I’ll pick up the pieces that she left behind
and explain why this caged bird screams.
You see, I scream because it took only one bad and ill-advised decision
to be deemed as a menace to society by public officials.
I scream because no one wanted to listen to this hurt and broken child
that was begging and pleading for attention.
But all of a sudden, after one bad and ill-advised decision,
I got my whole community's attention.
I scream because society’s answer to the problem
was a cage, a lock, and the key.
I scream because I started to believe all of the hurtful things
that the district attorney was saying about me.
Things like I was a super predator and that I should never be set free.
Fast forward just one year later,
and I turned 18,
and my screams became 10 times louder
because my name
had been replaced with a number.
“1046186” were the seven digits that got wrapped around my wrist.
And at that moment in my life, nothing at all made any sense.
So I crunched the numbers like a mathematician
trying to somehow make sense out of this huge, humungous sentence.
But no matter how I added it, subtracted it, multiplied it,
or divided it,
I was still left serving a 25 to life sentence
for one bad, ill-advised, and tragic decision.
Little did I realize
how much that one decision would impact all of my future decisions
and push me like a man on a mission
to stand in a position to declare to the world
that I am more than just my worst decision.
We are more than just our worst decision.
Until that truth finally resonates within us,
we can never break free from our past.
Listen, if we want to be free and spread our wings and soar,
then you have to be willing to let go.
Let go of past hurt and shame, guilt and pain,
and trust that who you are is enough.
Listen, I had to let go of who I was to make room for who I was becoming.
And honestly, it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made
because I’ve been home for a while now,
and my feet have not hit the ground once
because I continue to soar.
Since my release in 2017,
I’ve been able to earn my bachelor’s degree,
my master’s degree,
and this fall, I will be starting my Ph.D. program
to earn my doctorate as a marriage and family therapist.
I am an educator, an activist, a counselor, a facilitator,
a father, a husband,
and as you all see, also a poet.
But along with all of that, I’m also K81900,
a formerly incarcerated individual living with the label “felon”
and having to navigate the 47,000 collateral consequences
that come with that label.
Collateral consequences that affect everything
from housing and employment
to mental health and physical well-being.
But what if,
what if we, as a community and broader society,
work together to dismantle and remove the barriers
that hold so many formerly incarcerated individuals down?
What if we did that?
If we did,
I’m willing to guarantee
that there would be more formerly incarcerated individuals
that would soar.
Thank you.
(Applause)