- [Cher Horowitz] A licensed driver with nothing to do?
Where would I find such a loser?
- [Male Voice] So Josh, have you given any thought
to our little discussion about corporate law?
- [Josh] Yeah, you know, but I think I'd really like to
check out environmental law.
- [Male Voice] What for?
Wanna have a miserable, frustrating life?
- Oh, Josh will have that no matter what he does.
- Look, look! Josh is dancing with Tai,
he never dances!
- I can see why.
- [Cher] No, he's doing her a prop,
so she won't be left out.
- Ooh, I dig you!
- Aw.
(rock music)
- [Television] What's your problem, Beavis?
(remote clicks)
- [Cher] Hey!
- God, you just got here and already
you're playing couch commando?
- Hey, in some parts of the universe,
maybe not in contempo-casual,
but in some parts,
it's considered cool to know what's going on in the world.
(computer playing video)
- Mmm.
(laughing)
(upbeat music)
What am I doing?
That's better.
- [Josh] Hey, James Bond.
In America, we drive on the right side of the road.
- I am, you try driving in platforms.
- Look, I gotta get back to school.
Wanna practice parking?
- What's the point?
Everywhere you go has valet.
(inspirational music)
- Try it.
(inspirational music)
(laughing)
- I am rescuing her from teenage hell.
Do you know the wounds of adolescents can
take years to heal?
- Yeah, and you've never had a mother,
so you're acting out on that poor girl,
like she was your Barbie doll.
- Freshman Psych rears its ugly head.
- Hey, I am not taking Psych.
- Whatever, I'm gonna take that lost soul in there,
and make her well dressed and popular.
Her life will be better because of me.
How many girls can say that about you?
(knife chopping)
(door slamming)
- Hey!
- What's all this?
- Butternut squash and apple casserole coming right up!
Mel, I wanna help out, Mel.
He's the only one who cares about me.
- That's not true.
- He's not?
- No.
- Are you saying you care about me?
- Josh...
(romantic music)
- [Cher] Well, you can guess what happened next.
- I think that we could be so happy here.
And I think that our family
could be so happy here.
And I think it's the sweetest thing
I could possibly imagine.
(laughing)
But we're gonna have to get rid of that column.
- I don't think we can.
It's holding the whole house up.
(laughing)