Yeah I think when I moved to New Zealand
I was pretty excited, you know, like maybe
it's a new culture a new, you know, a new country
nobody knows me so it's kind of
like probably I can start with a new, you know
new beginning or new chapter or something like that
living with my parents I really noticed that their
relationship is not that good
but they live together but it's like, you know
they find somebody else, you know
to fill those position of wife and husband
my parents relationship with other people
that incident led me to such a bad shame
like, you know, as an Indian culture
it's a bit hard to find out, like if you
have, like an extra (marital) affair I was so angry
why it's always happening with me and I
just wanted to run away from my parents
so I think that was my first step to
find a different country or a different place
like really, really far away from
my home, my family, my friends just being myself
that's why I decided to move to New Zealand
all the thoughts from my past experience, like my family
background when I came here it's the same thing
which is happening my trust issues
and I even started thinking about, like taking my life
like suicidal issues
when I found my last roommates it was pretty good
like you know party life, like really enjoying my life
but when I came back to my own room there's like
empty again, isolation.
I still remember that night when I came back
from like a night party I think that my friends
you know, then I came back and I
started, like yeah I had the same feeling
you know, isolation.
I really have like a lot of questions, like why I'm doing
why I'm living a life like this
just like a short-term happiness but a long-term struggle
I started thinking about my relationship with God and all
those things but, yeah it was so hard for me to find an answer
then I think when I was like browsing Facebook
I found a video of a father and kid
they love and they sacrifice and all those things
and it was a page called Why God
then I found that they have like a you know chat
I just texted hey I'm feeling this much
struggle I'm going through kind of things in my life
I think first of all they answered, like an automatic reply
you know, computer stuff
I never expected there'll be a human being on the other side
I started talking to a real person
she suggested me a church in Auckland City
it was kind of like encouraging me to just search for
something new which I never experienced before
when I first entered that church they started worship
I was feeling like something my weight is like
leaving from my heart
then I think like during last worship song
I was really opened my
heart then I realized it's like, it was Jesus you know
when I found like Jesus in my life
just like, really a transition for my heart
like you know to forgive my parents
and to reconsider my you know a relationship
with them I start feeling that okay
forgiveness is the best way of you know
forgetting my past and to just move on
something has filled in my heart
courage
hope some strength to fight my battles
so I think it's like really really
encouraged me to move on
like not looking backward and not like
cursing myself about my past so I just
had that strength to move forward in my life