welcome back everybody so you've
probably heard of helicopter parenting
but what about helicopter children if
you hover over your parents and maybe
micromanage every move they make you
might be a helicopter child
well here to share more on how to avoid
the friction is senior care expert of
Senior Care authority
Gary Blizzard welcome to the show this
is such an interesting conversation and
when we were talking about this
yesterday we heard helicopter children's
syndrome I thought oh no no it's
helicopter parent but now you know after
we talked about it this is a thing where
adults really are just kind of like
majorly micromanaging their their aging
parents right oh that's right I mean
it's kind of the reversal of their
helicopter parent syndrome where you
watch over your kids it's it's kids
watching over their parents and doing it
so much that they're micromanaging
trying to supervise trying to regulate
what they eat where they go what they do
it's it's it's this whole concept of
overstepping their bounds a little bit
because actually their parents are wiser
than we are so they've kind of gone a
little bit too far now sometimes they
need that sometimes they need care but
when they don't a lot of them tend to
overstep it's such a tricky scenario and
you know more and more people are
dealing with this scenario because of
something you call the silver tsunami I
guess every 13 seconds every 13 seconds
someone in America turns 65 years old so
our population is aging and we have more
and more older people in our population
than ever before oh that's right I mean
that that's segments the aging boomers
we call it - it's growing rapidly I mean
there's there's communities is springing
up all over the country for folks to
live in for that reason and this is a
really interesting fact as well
statistic more than 34 million people in
the US are caring for somebody over the
age of 50 right that's right that's
right I mean all of us have parents that
that need help that need care and at
different levels people are living
longer now than they used to and so
that's something else you need to watch
for is when is that right time to step
in and provide the care they need and I
guess maybe having that initial
conversation is when to have that tough
talk right that's where we start right
that's right and it's always better to
do that
when they're mentally and physically
healthy enough to do that so they can
express their desires what they were
they want to go and what they want to do
as they age that's always the ideal time
to have that so it's always better not
to procrastinate with that discussion
have it as soon as you can well and if
you do procrastinate a lot of times
families find themselves in this
heartbreaking and frustrating scenario
of not knowing what to do making
decisions under pressure so you're
saying make decisions ahead of time
about health and finances and make a
game plan that's right exactly because
you find that as you said you wait too
long people find themselves and in a
rehab center they find themselves
somewhere needing to go somewhere fast
and that's where we get our phone calls
to try to help place people in an
appropriate living community at a
moment's notice because people avoided
that's right people are waited too long
to do it the other thing too I think is
interesting is that you just like in a
marriage or any other relationship you
want to pick your battles right you
don't want to maybe harp on mom or dad
not wearing the hearing aid 24 hours a
day but be more kind of cognizant if the
medicines aren't being taken that's
right exactly I mean again there's this
line to cross I mean when they need help
certainly you want to be there to help
them I mean if there's some impairment
of any kind you want to help them work
through that help them make sure they're
taking their medicines and all but on
the other hand pick your battles like
you said don't don't worry about every
small detail I mean sure their diet is
important sure what they're wearing is
important but this is the time to enjoy
our parents I mean we should be enjoying
living in with them rather than trying
to pick apart what they're doing so pick
your battles well and I think everybody
can agree that the overall goal is to
keep your aging parents living
independently as long as possible some
children may overstep by thinking that
they're going to do their parents a
favor and go in and throw everything out
of their house or go through their mail
or screen their phone calls you say this
is a big no-no oh that's right
absolutely because we deal with a lot of
folks that want to prematurely place
their parents into a assisted living or
memory care or whatever independent
living community when the parents aren't
ready for that and so if they can stay
independent that's what we want to have
them do stay independent as long
as possible so we don't want to make
that decision prematurely but on the
other hand we want to make sure they
find the care they need if it's if it's
assisted living even if it's financial
assistance finding different financial
options out there or elder care
attorneys elder law attorneys finding
finding assistance from them we're
consultants that help them help families
navigate what that next best step is and
sometimes it's not placement and I think
it's interesting too that you talk about
the tone in which we talk to our parents
because just like as we're talking to
our kids or our kids are talking to us
we want to have that matching tone right
scolding at our parents clearly isn't
gonna work either
that's right sometimes and sometimes
it's not what you say but how you say
that so it's important to have a loving
nature to care for our parents and again
not overstep the bow or step the bounds
and what you're telling them and don't
use an appropriate tone be respectful I
mean there are parents so we respect
them and Gary the very last point we're
almost out of time but you say that if
all else has failed it is okay to seek
professional help because you're not
alone a lot of people are going through
this that's right and a lot of people
come to us for that because there's all
the resources out there and people don't
know what they are and so it's it's it's
it's something that people seek from us
where do I go next what professionals
are out there that I can seek advice
from so there's lots of ways we can help
steer people toward the right help be it
placement in another community where
they need to be if that's if that's
necessary or hooking them up with the
right resources in the community or
professional resources and we do want to
get to the results of our click to vote
question by the way we asked you what is
the average life expectancy for
Americans most of you said 82 years old
the correct answer is actually 78 years
old
interesting all right you so much for
coming in thank you thank you for having
the conversation for sure in the
meantime if you all would like more
information you can check out our
website Houston life TV to connect with
Gary and we'll be right back with more
Houston lines stay with us
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