(WIZ) No anime tough-guy trope is complete unless he has outrageous spiky hair, a sword that's clearly compensating for something...
(BOOMSTICK) ...and belts--lots and lots of belts!
(WIZ) Ragna, The Bloodedge.
(BOOMSTICK) And Sol Badguy, the Flame of Corruption. He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick!
(WIZ) And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win...a DEATH BATTLE.
(WIZ) Nearly a century ago, humanity was hunted to near-extinction by the fearsome Black Beast.
Fortunately, six brave heroes slayed the monster and saved mankind.
The remains of humanity was reorganized under an oppressive government, until one man decided to rise up: Ragna the Bloodedge.
(BOOMSTICK) Baggy pants, giant sword, brooding personality. Ragna has "tragic backstory" written all over him.
(WIZ) I'd actually go with gruesome. As a young child, he and his siblings were confined in an experimental facility as lab rats.
(BOOMSTICK) Bummer. What were they trying to do?
(WIZ) No one knows. The important thing here is they were rescued by a talking cat named Jubei, who also happened to be the most feared warrior on the planet.
However, things took a darker turn when Ragna's sister, Saya, grew very sick.
(BOOMSTICK) With what?!
(WIZ) Sickness? No one knows.
Ragna took Saya under his wing. But, their younger brother Jin was irritated that Ragna was not spending more time with him.
Being a reasonable guy, he decided that the only solution was to murder his brother.
(BOOMSTICK) Oh, yeah, that makes a ton of sense. "I'm lonely; I'll kill one of the only people I care about." Great plan!
So, then a maniacal hipster villain named Yūki Terumi showed up out of nowhere, helped Jin impale Ragna through the chest, and then cut off his arm for good measure.
(WIZ) Why? How? No one knows. Have you familiarized yourself with that phrase yet? Good, because it's not stopping anytime soon.
(BOOMSTICK) Moving on for sanity's sake, Ragna would've been done for until an omniscient, time-traveling pig-tailed vampire
descended for the heavens, snapped her fingers, magicked him a new arm, and left. No, no, don't think, just accept.
(WIZ) Surprisingly still conscious, and apparently an expert at things that've never happened before, Ragna instantly recognized his new appendage as an Azure Grimoire,
a piece of the Black Beast which Ragna can use to manipulate seithr.
Seithr is a radioactive energy left behind by the Black Beast all over the world.
(BOOMSTICK) Like magic!
(WIZ) Well, no, magic is totally different.
(BOOMSTICK) But it lets him do magic-type stuff?
(WIZ) Yes.
(BOOMSTICK) O...kay. Well, after missing out on the maiming and resurrection of Ragna, Jubei the cat ninja returned and decided to teach him the ways of combat.
(WIZ) Where the hell was he before? No one knows!
(BOOMSTICK) Probably destroying someone's furniture or pissing in their shoes.
(WIZ) Through his training, Ragna's control over seithr became practically unmatched.
He can form various parts of the Black Beast in combat, transform his own arm into razor-sharp claws, or drain the soul of his foe through his strikes.
(BOOMSTICK) But if he needs more power, more defense, and more... soul-sucking, he can crank these up to eleven with his Blood Kain form.
(WIZ) Upon completing his training, Jubei bestowed upon him a red cloak and a deadly blade called Bloodscythe.
(BOOMSTICK) This baby can extend for stabbing strikes, and like the Azure Grimoire, slowly drains the souls of its victims upon contact.
And before you point out that it's clearly a sword, not a scythe, it can do this.
Ragna's angsty rage took him on a world tour of single-handed government smashing, earning him the nickname, "The Grim Reaper."
(WIZ) And racking up an unprecedented bounty of 90 billion...whatever their currency is. No one knows...
And despite being the largest bounty of all time, he still freely walks the world on foot and in public with no attempt to disguise himself whatsoever.
(BOOMSTICK) Probably, because no one wants to tick him off. We're talking about a guy who treats getting knocked through solid concrete as an inconvenience,
has survived multiple impalings through the chest, took out hundreds of armed officers without breaking a sweat,
and obliterated an entire street with a single one-hand sword strike.
(WIZ) Ragna is referred to by some as the most powerful man in the world, but is also known as a risk-taker with a short temper.
(BOOMSTICK) And despite being trained by the most dangerous kitty-cat in the world,
Ragna is obviously nowhere near Jubei's level of skill, who terrifies even the deadliest villains in the series.
(WIZ) But after all was said and done, Jubei left Ragna with a dire warning: "Never think of the Azure Grimoire as your own."
(BOOMSTICK) ...Which is kinda bullshit--I mean, it's attached to him, so I'm pretty sure he's got dibs.
(WIZ) Well, he does, but if he loses control over it, it can transform him into the Black Beast itself.
In fact, Ragna WAS the original Black Beast, sent back in time after falling into a magic cauldron. The two were somehow separated and did battle in the past.
These events would repeat themselves in a 100-year time loop until this chick [Noel Vermilion] saved Ragna from falling into that cauldron,
stopping the Black Beast from appearing in the past in the first place.
(BOOMSTICK) But, if the Black Beast never went back in time, then it would never have created seithr, and everything in BlazBlue shouldn't exist as we know it. So, how--
(WIZ) NO ONE KNOWS!!
(BOOMSTICK) Can we just make this guy fight someone now?
(WIZ) Way back in the year 2010, the discovery of magic forever changed the course of human history.
Traditional technology was eliminated for newer, environmentally-friendly methods.
And after improving the planet, a certain world superpower sought to improve mankind itself.
(BOOMSTICK) Oh, hey, another super-soldier project. Let me guess: they injected this guy with some serum, and it didn't really work out the way they wanted, but, now, he's a badass
(WIZ) Replace serum with magic, and...close enough. This man would emerge as the feared bounty hunter, Sol Badguy.
(BOOMSTICK) So, he's clearly the bad guy?
(WIZ) Actually, he's the main hero of the story.
(BOOMSTICK) Then why would--
(WIZ) Before Sol's transformation, he was known as Frederick, a scientist tasked with leading the super-soldier project alongside his love interest, Aria.
But, whether he intended to or not, Frederick would become the prototype of this new super-race, the GEARs.
(BOOMSTICK) But, is he "Guilty"?
(WIZ) Oh, hell yeah. He was responsible for Aria's death, and then, her next death when she was resurrected into...this thing.
(BOOMSTICK) Oh. Wasn't expecting her to look like that, but not as much as I wasn't expecting the BLUE ROBO-PENIS! Who even does that?!
(WIZ) She was likely created as a giant "F-U" to poor Sol by That Man.
(BOOMSTICK) Which man?
(WIZ) That Man.
(BOOMSTICK) I only see Sol Badguy.
(WIZ) No, no, it's That Man.
(BOOMSTICK) It's just you and me here, Wiz.
(WIZ) Listen, the villain is That Man.
(BOOMSTICK) Sol Badguy's the hero AND the villain?
(WIZ) No, no, he's another character; just--just pretend Sol Badguy's not there.
(BOOMSTICK) You mean he's invisible!?
(WIZ) When this person was born into the world, his parents looked at this child and decided they would name him "That Man".
(BOOMSTICK) Who were they looking at, Wiz?!
(WIZ) HIS NAME IS T-H-A-T SPACE M-A-N!
(BOOMSTICK) WELL F-U-C-K SPACE Y-O-U! I'M OUT
*Door Slams Offscreen*
So, I looked at the Internet and discovered that his actual name is..."That Man." I apologize for earlier; let's move on.
(WIZ) Sol had to maintain a human appearance to disguise his true GEAR form. So, he developed a special limiter headpiece to keep his own power at bay.
(BOOMSTICK) If that thing comes off, say goodbye to whoever recently pissed him off.
(WIZ) As a GEAR, Sol's aging was slowed to a near-halt, allowing him more than enough time to develop his own fighting style.
(BOOMSTICK) Well, whatever fighting style lets you punch fire, that's the one I wanna learn!
Sol's Volcanic Viper and Fafnir Punches are flame-enhanced strikes, while his Riot Stomp flies in with a fearsome kick.
And because this is anime, Sol can trigger his second form, the Dragon Install.
(WIZ) The Dragon Install allows Sol to safely tap into a fraction of his full GEAR power, boosting his strength, speed, and healing ability.
The drawback: he can only sustain this power for so long, and afterward, he's left vulnerable.
(BOOMSTICK) As Sol wandered the Earth, "That Man" began a plan for world domination using an army of GEARs.
In response, Sol put together a GEAR-obliterating super-weapon called Outrage.
(WIZ) ...Which looks like the world's most complicated can opener. Or next-gen Bop-It.
(BOOMSTICK) Turns out, it was so powerful nobody could wield it, not even Sol. So, he had to split it apart into eight pieces just to make it usable.
Naturally, he took the best piece for himself, the flame-enhanced Fireseal. I want a fire seal; that'd be f***in' sweet. Try and eat me now, orca whale. Fire seal!
(WIZ) Using Fireseal to its full potential, Sol defeated That Man's forces twice over.
(BOOMSTICK) And then, he decided to upgrade the shit! out of it with the Junkyard Dog Mark III casing.
(WIZ) But this is hardly the full extent of Sol's power. He once survived the Backyard, an alternate dimension which would annihilate the soul of a normal man.
And, by removing his headband, he can access his full, unrestrained potential.
(BOOMSTICK) Like, when he shot a laser out of his sword to incinerate an inhuman GEAR the size of Mt. Everest!
(WIZ) And once, he went back in time and witnessed his past self get murdered, which should have erased him from the present a la Marty McFly.
But, he didn't like that idea very much, so he just didn't.
(BOOMSTICK) After BlazBlue, nothing is too bizarre for me anymore.
(WIZ) Sol is powerful, but fears his full potential. He's also pretty lazy; his favorite strategy is always whichever is the least strenuous.
This lack of extra effort can sometimes leave him underestimating his opponent.
(BOOMSTICK) But, the second he starts trying, few can stand in his way.
(WIZ) Alright, the combatants are set! Let's end this debate once and for all!
(BOOMSTICK) It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!
(RAGNA) Who are you? Outta my way, or you're dead.
You gotta be kidding me. Let's get this over with.
Bitch!
*huff huff* Restriction Number 6...
You're going to pay!
Restriction 666 released.
Dimensional Interruption Imaginary Number formed.
BlazBlue...ACTIVATE!
It's my turn now! Hyaaah!
Idea Engine linked! This'll sting!
Blood Kain!
Inferno Divider!
Tappin' out?
I'm not gonna waste any more time on you, asshole!
Ugh! Shit!
Announcer: KO!
(BOOMSTICK) Bullseye!
(WIZ) Ragna put up a tough fight, but Sol had him outclassed.
(BOOMSTICK) Likely due to the fact that, while Ragna had on four belts, Sol had eighteen.
(WIZ) Sol's centuries' worth of fighting experience trumped Ragna's training, and he has consistently shaken off wounds more easily.
(BOOMSTICK) Even Sol's, um, soul is tough enough to withstand Ragna's Azure Grimoire, just like when it withstood the Backyard.
(WIZ) The Black Beast WAS impressive, but Sol's GEAR form is leagues above. Recall when Sol turned that GEAR the size of Mt. Everest into dust.
By comparing the size of the GEAR to the clouds, we can determine its volume to be around 140 billion cubic meters.
Destroying something this size would require more than 85 gigatons of TNT! That's nearly 200 times more powerful than the 9.0 earthquake that hit Japan in 2011.
(BOOMSTICK) More than enough to take Ragna down, and that was only a fraction of Sol's real power!
Ragna just burned out in the end.
(WIZ) The winner is Sol Badguy!
(BOOMSTICK) Next time, on DEATH BATTLE...
(WIZ) Have an idea for a DEATH BATTLE? Let us know in the comments below.
(BOOMSTICK) But if you're looking to kill some more time, go watch our intern, Jocelyn's new show, The Desk of DEATH BATTLE. And we don't have to pay her!
(WIZ) Or, if you demand more blood, check out Great Moments in Gaming's latest episode on Mortal Kombat's Blood Code.
(BOOMSTICK) Oh, and future DEATH BATTLE episodes are moving to Wednesdays, a whole two days early!
(WIZ) Thanks for watching.
(BOOMSTICK) Go, go, go! Click the "Like" button! Do it. Also, like, tell everyone you know about this. Share, share away. If you're not already subscribed, then click "Subscribe."
Please?