'We are one master, we follow your bidding.'
Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World.
‘Now, now darling, no need to be bitchy’
Devils of Darkness, I’m informed, is the first British film to bring vampires into the present day,
predating Hammer’s Dracula AD 1972 by five years.
And although this was made at the peak of Hammer’s popularity
it draws more on the European horrors I particularly love
and in fact opens in 17th century France with the resurrection of a vampire.
All it took was a candle? You’re phoning in the ritual.
Having left his grave in the form of a rubber bat,
Dear oh dear,
Count Sinistre who wins the Dark Corners Doctor Doom Award for obvious bad guy names,
claims his new bride.
‘Awaken, arise from your sleep.’
Using some bat-shaped bling.
‘This talisman that sets me above everyone,’
Now we jump to the present day and a party of English tourists,
some going caving others observing the local night of All souls.
#elves singing on their way to the Undying Lands#
‘What a marvellous setting for a story’
Potentially yes, as the cavers enter the wrong cave,
while on the surface it’s time for a classic Dark Corners Break out character,
the sudden gypsy.
We love a prophet of doom.
'It is too late, the black death is upon you’
Just in this one scene, but we will remember her.
The cavers are found dead,
'Nothing can be done I'm afraid.'
by the vampire couple.
Though they may have grown apart over the centuries as the Count ‘comforts’ the dead man’s sister.
‘If only I could do something to lessen your grief’
In France the first stage of grief is doggie style.
‘Please let me help you erase this unhappy memory’
It has been months since my wife and I erased anything.
He takes Anne for a walk.
‘There’s a sickly fragrance that reminds me of death’
Thank you is from Calvin Kline,
but when Ann resists...
Her friend Paul badgers the police to look for her, but, alas.
‘Her body was discovered in the lake, it seems she took her own life’
That’s how you tell someone their friend is dead?
’I don’t believe it’
That’s how you react to your friend being dead?
But Sinistre has a problem.
During his struggle with Anna he lost his Talisman and...
‘The talisman, the all-powerful symbol that protects us, must be restored’
So, he and wife Tania follow Paul to England.
‘They must be out of their tiny minds’
Here’s the problem with this film; partway through we get to see the Count’s entry in the vampire Who’s Who,
engaged in all manner of perversity and evil, claimed his victims by Hypnotic sorcery,
accused of being a Vampire and buried alive.
The creed of his initiates was to gain limitless power over GOD, demon & man.
I wanna see that film. Not the one where Count Sinistre goes hunting for his lost jewelry and has a domestic.
‘You did not tell her that you had a wife’
Still, you’d think there was enough to keep a plot ticking over as Paul attends a ‘with it’ party.
'Calm down boy.'
'Gon on darling, mix and mingle.'
meets a pretty girl and drops his best chat-up line.
‘I cook in a non-stick frying pan’
This is Karen, who is also Sinistre’s model,
'Oh I'm dying for a drink, how about you.'
because as long as you’re hunting for the Talisman that gives you power you may as well get some work done,
and it’s her making Tania jealous.
‘You know the reason this girl was chosen. She will be the hostage. The Talisman must be given back to us,’
It’s all about the Talisman and this is definitely the most direct route to getting it back.
Could just take him by the throat and shake him till he gives it back but practical jokes are an equally valid option if you’re not in a hurry.
‘I must have the talisman by sunset tomorrow’
It is so urgent I cannot even stop to explain why.
He puts his hostage plan into action.
‘Karen’s been kidnapped. The medallion is the ransom’
but Paul isn’t falling for that,
‘Sorry Madeleine but I’ve got to do this my own way’
I’m going to sleep on it.
She’ll be fine.
As he sleeps, the jealous Tania breaks in and...
striking image but I don’t know what it means,
should have brought a pen.
Her note is written on the back of the count’s CV that I mentioned earlier
and Paul calls the police.
‘And I never certainly believed in black magic, till now’
this piece of paper is all the evidence I need.
‘It’s black magic alright’
They race to the stately home where Karen is about to become Sinistre’s next bride,
'Arise.'
Presumably this is what he needed the Talisman for,
he doesn’t have it but they’re going ahead anyway, because...
– you know – we’re all here now, might as well.
Although it turns out Karen is damaged goods,
'Look!'
following a scene earlier, I didn’t really follow,
where did that come from?
Paul and the detective storm in.
But it’s two against ten so I don’t like their chances.
That’s bad luck.
Sinistre flees with Karen again,
very bad luck but just take a step to the right.
Purely from a narrative standpoint you want the lead character to have some impact on bringing the bad guy down
- Sinistre is beaten by the weather!
And Karen’s apparently fine, can’t touch crosses but that’s nothing that needs tying up.
Bottom line, and leaving aside all the actual ‘problems’; this film is no fun.
It can’t hold up to the Euro horrors it's aping and it’s not even on a par with Dracula AD 1972,
which for all it’s flaws, is a laugh.
‘But that is nonsense monsieur’
One thing I will say about it; it makes you realise the unexpected crossover between cult ritual and beatnik happening.
Could be either, couldn’t tell you.
Thanks for watching.
‘I understand you are a writer monsieur’
Well I don’t like to talk about it but since you bring it up I do have a vampire book you can buy on Amazon,
there’s a link in the description below.
What present day vampire films works for you? Let us know in the comments below.
'Want to go?' ‘Love to.’ ‘I’ll just go get my coat’