'Is Hitler really dead they asked.'
Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World.
‘It’s top secret and very few people outside of myself know oft it’
The Madmen of Mandoras was originally released in 1963
‘However, there’s been a complication’
5 years later the producers wanted to get it on TV, but it wasn’t long enough,
so they invented a couple of new characters...
‘You know, you’re really disgusting’
‘Coming from you that’s a compliment’
shot 20 minutes of new footage culminating in those characters’ deaths
Stuck it onto the front of the existing film...
‘Doesn’t make sense’
and called it They Saved Hitler’s Brain’
Although it’s essentially still Madmen of Mandoras,
which didn’t make much sense to start with.
‘G gas kills humans in the same manner as DDT kills flies’
That isn’t a human or a fly, it’s an elephant lying down.
‘Yes we know that’
The plot then kick starts with a phone call to a weapons professor who isn’t exactly Liam Neeson.
‘We have your daughter Suzanne, do not contact the police. Go to your apartment’
'Frank?'
'Nothing.'
I don’t know who you are or what you want, because I put the phone down already.
‘Are you sure we’re doing the right thing?’
She’s been kidnapped as bait.
Although since her father is kidnapped 2 minutes later...
'Hold it, in the car, comeon, move'
You’ve got to wonder why.
‘I see what you mean’
He is then used as bait, to lure his other daughter and her husband.
‘They have taken him to my country Mandoras’
Although since it’s the professor they want, again you’ve got to wonder why.
‘What do you mean again’
And the first daughter?
‘When we landed here they gave me some money, fixed me up in a hotel said I could run and play as long as I called nobody back home.’
What considerate kidnappers.
‘Now what’
Now they’re all kidnapped.
‘I’m wondering why you had us brought here’
You and me both.
‘He has been stubborn but now you are here we will try another approach’
That would make so much sense, if they hadn’t already kidnapped one daughter and just set her free.
‘This is like a bad joke’
No, this is like a bad joke.
‘You will see your great victory Mein Fuhrer,'
‘Mach schnell, mach schnell!’
I’m guessing that translates as ‘Why are you speaking to me in English?’
‘Something has gone wrong’
Hitler in a jar, remains this movie’s USP.
Some men give up when they lose a war...
‘But not Mr H.’
Mr H?
‘Hitler alive? It’s incredible’
Thing is, Mr H. doesn’t really feature.
I like the idea of a pocket of Nazis remaining faithful to a head in jar that’s become no more than a symbol
as he clearly has no idea what’s going on.
‘There has been a change in plans Mein Fuhrer we will go to the town and release the gas ourselves’
But the plot isn’t about him, it’s about nerve gas.
‘Within a matter of hours we will begin the conquest of the world’
So our heroes – last seen kidnapped for the umpteenth time – have to save the world.
But how will they escape the Nazis?
This is Hitler’s personal guard! Who then let their prisoners walk away as the alarm’s going off.
And they’re not the only useless ones, turns out that the whole island is anti-Nazi but they’ve been waiting for one American man to show up save them.
‘Please take it’
and his wife who doesn’t recognise a gunshot.
#gun shot#
'Pull over something is wrong.'‘
'What’s wrong’
‘I don’t know’
But I’m sure it has nothing to do with that loud bang and the pool of blood spreading across his chest.
‘With a wife like this who need a girlfriend?’
Events climax in a thrilling shootout in the alleys of Mandoras
‘He’s got a flashlight KC so keep low’
Here in this pool of light.
Why are you running at him?! You’re the one with the loaded gun!
‘The senor must be joking of course’
What does it say about a movie when I find myself rooting for the Nazis?
Oh, looks like someone’s opened the Ark of the Covenant.
Is this the most bonkers post-World war to Nazi resurgence plot ever or are they're worse let us know in the comments below?
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