- [Many Voices] Saturday Supercut.
(motorboating)
- (sighs) I'm bored.
Whoa who's that?
What do you have?
- Hey watch the merchandise buddy.
- Whoa. - Oh hey.
How's it going?
- Hey, I'm an orange um..
- Are you okay?
- You're beautiful. (laughing)
- No I'm just a passion fruit.
- More like passion cute.
- Uh, that's passion fruit.
- I'm an orange.
- Yeah I like your peel, dimples are totally adorable.
(laughing)
- Swear to god, you put me down right now.
You gonna see some kung fu voodoo.
- Grapefruit?
Wow, I can't believe you made it.
- Oh you know him.
- You know it buddy (laughing).
- It's not like that, we met in the bag on the way over.
- Hey who's the kumquat, he a friend of yours?
- We just met, he's been, you know, keeping me company.
- Hey Passion, you wanna watch me flex?
Check it out (straining noise).
- Uh, yeah, you did that earlier.
(straining noise)
- Hey is the chubby orange gonna fart?
- Oh did that twerp just call me chubby?
- Uh..
- Yeah, you really let yourself go.
They should call you Chubby McChubby Orange,
cause you're chubby (laughing).
- Hey (bleep).
I'm a (bleep) grapefruit.
Do you know what that means?
Whoa, Chubby McChubby's got a potty mouth.
- It means I can kick your (bleep) six ways from (bleep).
- Is that really necessary.
- Hey, Orange, I'm talking to you.
How many squats can you do huh?
- What's a squat. - Exactly.
Let me spell it out for you.
Chicks dig the Grapefruit, ain't that right baby?
- Uh, not really.
- Oh Orange you're out of your league,
you should go hit on a blueberry or something (laughing).
- Grapefruit, more like Ape-fruit.
Are you chubby cause you ate all the bananas (laughing).
- Hey zip the lip onion dip. - I'm not an onion.
- You're right, you're a grape.
- Uh uh, no I'm not.
- Then why you so full of whine (laughing).
- Shut up, what is wrong with you, seriously?
You think I care about flexing.
And what are you talking about squats,
you don't even have legs.
(laughing) And you.
Who cares if he's a little, you know, round.
All you do is make weird noises and call him fat.
How shallow are you?
- I'm not shallow, I'm an Orange.
- Wow, what is wrong with me?
This happens every time I go out,
it's always the jerk and the weirdo.
If that's the choices, I'd rather take..
- Knife? - Huh?
- Knife.
(horror music) (screaming)
(slicing)
- Oh my god! (screaming)
- Whoa, grapefruit's beside himself.
- [Grapefruit] Ow, ow, do you know how much this hurts?
- Hey at least he's not such a sour puss now (laughing).
Ow. (screaming)
- That's the most messed up thing I've ever seen.
- You shoulda seen tomato, that was bad.
- This kitchen is awful, how do you stand it?
- Oh it's not so bad, just ask Pear.
- Somebody please kill me now.
(stabbing)
- For a friend you're quite a find,
hope you'll be my valentine.
Hey I'm not a find.
- Ah, don't be so modest.
Happy Valentine's Day Orange.
- Yay, now read mine.
- Hey little Apple, I bet it must be hard,
reading a letter when you're smaller than the card.
Um, thanks Orange. - You're welcome.
Hey, read yours Pear.
- Sometimes you're like an apple,
sometimes you're like a pear, either way it goes,
you still don't have any hair.
(laughing)
- You're a chrome dome (laughing).
- Is that your idea of a Valentine.
- Yeah, alright, Marshmallow's turn.
- Hey fluffy face, you're made of sugar.
So how come when you sneeze,
you still till blow out boogers?
(laughing)
You're tickling me with words (laughing).
- Orange, you're doing it wrong.
Do you even understand what this day means.
- Duh, it's the day you write your feelings
on a heart shaped card.
- Yeah, good feelings.
Stuff like, thanks for being my friend
and not always calling me a..
- A midget? (laughing)
(moaning)
See I know all about Valentine's Day.
And now we're gonna light up fireworks
until the Easter monkey lays its eggs.
- Yay. - No, no.
That's not even what..
Wow I don't even know where to start.
- With a Valentine, geez someone's slow today.
- Okay Orange, let's try this.
- See Passion over there.
- Hi Orange. - Whoa, hey Passion.
- Remember it's Valentine's Day, try to say something nice.
- Um, hey Passion.
- Yes Orange?
- Roses are red, violets are blue, you look like an angel..
- Yes?
That belongs in the zoo.
(laughing) Ow!
- That's for making fun of my costume.
- Ow she really knows how to make a point.
(laughing)
- Well maybe if you'd say something nice.
- What, it's better than what I was gonna say.
- What's that?
- Hey, you, dressed like Cupid,
don't you know you look so stupid.
(laughing) Ow.
- [Passion] I'm not deaf you know.
- That's it I quit, I'm not even gonna wait
for the groundhog to see my shadow.
- What? - Huh?
- Yay, I love groundhogs.
- Um, look, you just need practice.
Why don't you talk to that grape over there.
- Hi, hi Orange.
- Nah, he looks like a little whiner.
(laughing) - No Orange.
Just say something nice to him.
No puns, no jokes, and keep it clean.
- Okay you can do this Orange, say something nice.
(growling)
(growing intense violin)
(gulping)
- Um.
Um.
Hey.
- What, what is it Orange?
- Happy Valentine's Day..
(sighs) Knife.
(stabbing) (horror music)
- Whoa.
- Hey thanks Orange.
Oh crap, I did it again.
- Ow.
- Whoops.
(stabbing)
- [Announcer] Welcome to The Dating Game.
Here's your host Art Sweetheart.
- Hello and welcome to another episode of The Dating Game.
The show where we play cupid, or we look stupid (laughing).
Let's get right to it and meet our bachelorette.
She describes herself as sweet and sassy.
Say hello to Passion Fruit.
So Passion Fruit, tell us about the men in your life.
- Well Art most of the men in my life are really sweet.
But they can also be really annoying.
- So would you say when it comes to meeting Mr. Right Fruit,
you can really pick em (laughing).
- Yeah, they're annoying because they say stuff like that.
(crowd laughing)
- Well let's see if we can play matchmaker for you Passion.
Say hello to bachelor number one.
(crowd cheering)
- I'm talking to a girl.
- Uh, hi bachelor number one.
- Bachelor number two.
- Bounjour Passion, I look forward
to getting to know you very well.
- Ooh, I like your accent bachelor number two.
- And last but no least, bachelor number three.
- Hey, hey Passion Fruit, hey Passion Fruit, hey!
- Wait, that voice sounds familiar.
- Oh I'm sure you're completely mistaken Passion.
What do you say we move onto the first question.
- Oh pick me, pick me, bachelor number three.
Come on pick me.
- Bachelor number one.
- Aww, come on. (crowd laughing)
- If we went on our first date, what would we do.
- Oh boy, you're so beautiful..
Oh no, spritzing, spritzing (spritzing).
- He sounds like a motorboat making a milkshake.
(laughing)
- Did he say motorboat?
- Pardon moi, but I believe what bachelor number one
was trying to say is, a first date with one
as lovely as you would be the last first date of his life.
- Holy jumping jegawatts, that was smooth.
- Phew, I, well..
That's rather forward.
- Passion, my philosophy is never look back.
So I can only be forward yes?
- (laughing) Stupid Apple,
Red Onion made French toast out of you (laughing).
- Okay, see, I'm getting that feeling again.
- You'll have to pardon bachelor number three.
It is safe to say, we are all intoxicated by your presence.
(gibberish) (crowd laughing)
- I think we can forget about bachelor number one.
- (laughing) Apple's such a mush mouth.
(laughing)
- Let me remind the bachelors that you're not supposed
to reveal the identities of one another.
- I'm not a bachelor, I'm an Orange.
- Wow, I'm totally shocked.
- See, I told you sparks would fly (laughing).
- Can I talk to the super hot French guy now?
- Super hot French fry?
Be careful you might burn your tongue (laughing).
- That is entirely possible.
- Question, ooh ooh question, come on.
Question!
- Okay, that's really not necessary.
- Come on, nobody's asked me anything.
- Ugh, fine, bachelor number three.
- Yay, I win, suck it Red Onion.
- I am not an onion you buffoon.
- If we went on a first day..
- But I don't own a calendar.
- A date you idiot, like when two fruits really,
really like each other.
- Oh sorry, that's not gonna happen.
(record scratch) - What?
- Yeah, I've already got someone I really like.
She's totally smart and pretty and purple.
And whenever I see her, I feel
like I just ate a butterfly made of chocolate,
if you know what I mean. (audience aww'ing)
- I think I do bachelor number three.
It's what's on the inside that counts.
- Well since I've clearly lost control of the show,
let's lower the wall and see if Passion is right.
- She would choose this common piece of rubbish over me?
Clearly I am the superior fruit.
- (gibberish) It's back to Skyrim for me.
(machine whirring) (screaming)
- Whoa!
- Oh my god Orange, are you okay?
- Yeah poor guy, I think he really
had a crush on you Passion.
(laughing)
- Ugh, please stop.
- Well while we're busy contacting our attorneys,
you kids go out there and have a great time on your date.
- Yeah, come on Passion, there's room for you too.
- Get him off me.
Get him off me. (audience laughing)
(laughing)
- Giddyup Date.
(stabbing)
(light music)
- Say, has anyone seen Passion around?
- No, come to think of it, I haven't seen her in a while.
- Me neither.
- It feels like we haven't seen her in months.
- How does that make you feel Orange?
- (laughing) Why would it make me feel anything?
It's not like I have a massive crush on her,
or I'm love with her, or happen to know exactly
how many days she's been gone or anything.
(giggling)
- Don't, you are so in love with her.
- I am not. - Am to.
- Am not. - Am to.
- Hey what are we arguing about?
- We're not arguing. - Are to.
- Are not.
- Guys!
- [All] Passion!
- I'm back, and I brought presents.
(light upbeat music)
- Passion, where you been?
- Guys, let me tell you, there are a lot
of theories flying around the kitchen, wild theories.
- Yeah, well what did everyone think I was doing?
- Well I heard you took a job with the CIA.
(light violin music)
- Get her.
- Grab her, grab her.
(screaming)
- I've got you now Dr. Poe.
- I think not Agent Double O Passion.
(laughing)
(growling)
(screaming)
- The CIA?
(laughing)
You can't be serious.
- (gasps) That's exactly what a CIA agent would say.
- Ooh. - Oh yeah good point.
- Yup, yup, yup. - Good point, yeah.
(laughing)
- I think it's feasible,
the CIA does use a lot of food agents.
Here's a fact, food agents were instrumental
in locating Osama Bin Ladle.
- Guys I was not gone
on some secret mission for the CIA, okay.
- Well I heard that you went to Mars
as the world's first foodstranaut.
(ominous music)
- [Man] Passion, what's your status?
- I've landed.
- 10-4 Passion, proceed with your mission.
- Roger that.
Freeze, I've got you now Dr. Alien.
- I think not Agent Double O Passion.
(mimicking robot noise)
- Oh no! (screaming)
- I did not go on an secret CIA mission to Mars (groans).
- I bet there's a pet alien in this box.
(glass shattering) (screaming)
- Sorry to break it to you, but it's not an alien.
- She's right, it's a paperweight from the Phoenix Airport.
- Aha, this falls right in line with the rumor that I heard.
That Passion went on a vacation to Phoenix.
(tropical music) - Ah, now this is the life.
- Freeze, I've got you now Dr. Cactus.
- Well I think not Agent Double O Passion.
(laughing)
- Uh oh. (screaming)
- I'm not a secret agent you guys.
(laughing)
Seriously, I went traveling all around the world.
That's all.
- Story checks out, mine's a paperweight
from the Beijing Airport.
- Moscow.
Mines from a city I can't possibly pronounce.
Yay (laughing)!
- Wow these are great, thanks Passion.
- You're welcome.
And you have a gift coming Orange,
but I didn't know how to wrap it.
(laughing)
So, um, we were gonna play Mario Kart.
Um, you wanna join?
I mean I know you're probably tired from traveling
but if you want to hang out,
it's not a date or anything of course.
I mean why would it be?
We're just a bunch of friends
hanging out platonically and stuff right?
(giggling)
- Nailed it.
- (laughs) Orange I'd love to play Mario Kart with you guys.
- Woo hoo, let's go.
- I'm right behind you.
I've got you now Dr. Poe.
- I think not Agent Double O Passion.
(laughing)
(screaming)
- What was that?
- Nothing.
Uh, I call Yoshi.
- Sure why not.
Yoshi sucks.
(laughing)
(stabbing)
(upbeat music)