[Please keep these CC clean] [You can put funny extras in the English (Canada) CC]
DONDOCHAKKA: Ah, geez! Why am I so goddamn chunky?!
ASHIDO: We need to hurry out. The Menos are coming.
ICHIGO: We're almost out of this terrible underground forest.
ASHIDO: Rukia, you haven't forgotten what you promised me, have you?
Once we're out, you'll take me to see my family in Soul Society?
RUKIA: Of course, best friend Ashido.
Perhaps your face may even rouse your comatose sister from her slumber.
ICHIGO: We've already wasted enough time here.
...But, I'm grateful that you helped me to commune better with my Zanpakutō,
and learn the Getsuga Daitenshō.
ASHIDO: It was within you all along, Ichigo.
ICHIGO: And you helped us defeat the various rivals that we met underground.
But we need to hurry.
ASHIDO: As always... we're on the same page, Ichigo.
Let's go.
NELLIEL: We's almost outta the scary ground desert forest!
PESCHE: Last one out gets devourrred!
ASHIDO: Hm?
DAMMIT!
ICHIGO: The Menos Grande!
That megaton spiritual nuke we set-off must not have taken them all down!
ICHIGO: HURRRRRRRAAAARRRGH! RENJI: HURRRRRRRAAAARRRGH!
- D'ugh! - Urgh!
ASHIDO: Fly, you fools! I'll hold them off.
Before meeting all of you, I didn't know the meaning of life.
I was just an empty shell, devoid of purpose.
I would gladly repay you with my very life!
URYŪ: Ashido, no!
Did we not promise that we together would become doctors who would care for the sick and feeble?!
We promised, Ashido! I can't do it alone, Ashido!
RUKIA: We're not leaving you here!
ASHIDO: Ishida.
Rukia.
I know what it's like to be alone...
but you have to keep living!
ICHIGO: This place is coming down!
RUKIA: Ashido!
ASHIDO: Comrades... I cared for you; fought beside you; perhaps... even loved you.
My life would mean nothing, if it meant you never seeing another sunrise.
RUKIA: ASHIDOOOOO!
ASHIDO: Tell Orihime... "Death ain't my tune, maestro."
URYŪ: His signature catchphrase!
ASHIDOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!
PESCHE: (Sobbing) I wanted him to be the godfather of my thirdborn son!
I WAS EVEN GOING TO NAME HIM "BUSHIDO" IN HIS HONOR!
(Continues sobbing)
RUKIA: In the end, Ashido...
It looks like death was your tune...
...and the melody to your death was a bittersweet one.
Thank you, Ashido.
RENJI: ...Okay, I'll say it.
Who was that guy?
ICHIGO: Renji...
RENJI: And what the heck is a Getsuga Daitenshō?
ICHIGO: It's just... It's-- It's just a bit, Renji.
RENJI: Well, it was dumb! That was a dumb bit!
Let's keep saving Orihime, and never talk about this again!
[♫ Hello Sleepwalkers - "Hyakkiyakou" ♫] ♫ Mata okashii yoru ga meguru yo ♫ (Once more the strange night closes in)
♫ gou suto tsurete tte ♫ (Bringing with it the ghosts of old)
♫ Mado no soto odoru no da are? ♫ (Who's out there dancing outside the window?)
♫ Omoi dasenai natsu ga owaru dake ♫ (And the summer will just come to a close without you being able to remember)
[Lyrics sourced from genius.com & jpopasia.com]
ICHIGO: TENSHŌ!
RENJI: Is there *anything* massive blasts of energy can't solve?
ICHIGO: It can't bring my mom back to life.
RENJI: You're a real fun guy sometimes, Ichigo.
ICHIGO: HURRAAGH!
There we go!
We keep breaking through these walls and we'll be in Aizen's throne room in no time!
CHAD: I like this plan!
ICHIGO: ONE MORE TIME!
Done. With how dark everything's been, I was starting to forget what color was.
URYŪ: Mucus green walls. Good choice, Aizen; really nailing it.
CHAD: It would seem there are five doors here...
each one brimming with spiritual energy!
URYŪ: And conveniently, there are five of us.
Coincidence? Highly likely! America!
CHAD: What about America?
URYŪ: AMERICA!
RENJI: Hear me out... We split the party.
CHAD: Hear me out... No!
RUKIA: Each of us came here because we knew Ichigo wouldn't be able to face the Espada alone.
CHAD: Exactly!
RUKIA: So yeah, I'm up for it.
CHAD: No!
ICHIGO: If we do this, we'll all be vulnerable to individual attacks.
Especially Chad and Ishida.
CHAD: Exactly! URYŪ: America!
ICHIGO: Ishida raises a good point. I guess we're doing it.
Let's split up five ways and I'll try to find Aizen.
And let's be clear right now that if Renji, Ishida, and Chad
happen to turn back once we're all out of sight and they go home...
...nobody judges.
Mmm?
Mm-hmm.
RENJI: Plus, if we split up, that's like...
five times as many Espada that we'll kill.
That's how *math* works.
ICHIGO: That is technically how math works in some sense, you're right.
RENJI: All right, team; get ready to split!
Here's to the excellent teamwork that allowed us to get this far...
...and the excellent teamwork that we don't! Frickin'! Need anymore!
DONDOCHAKKA: Hey, now! What about us?!
If you're all splittin' up five different ways, what're *we* gonna do?!
PESCHE: If you leave us alone, we're sure to be devoured by any number of horrifying hallway lions.
RENJI: Let's be honest - you guys are gonna do what you want and we can't stop you.
PESCHE: That's fair. We've been known to be pretty rascally from time to time.
RUKIA: I love how I just got here and now we're splitting up.
That's my favorite part of this.
ALL: BREAK!
ULQUIORRA: Well, that was productive.
NNOITRA: HEY THERE, BUUUD!
How's that ol' stoic albino thing workin' out for ya?
STOP IGNORING ME!
ULQUIORRA: (Inhales)
I did not choose this pigmentation...
but it is going rather well, all things considered.
NNOITRA: FAN-TUCKING-FASTIC!
Hey, so... Related note - some meeting in there.
The part where Harribel tried to make it look like she was one of the big boys was hilarious!
ULQUIORRA: Why are you yelling? I'm able to hear you.
NNOITRA: It's like, "Yeah, come on; you're an Espada; I get it!"
But, like... "C'mon, Harribel. We all know..."
"why you're here."
Right?
Don't we, Ulquiorra? We all know why she's here, don't we?
ULQUIORRA: Yes. Because she is an influential Arrancar
with devoted followers, and absolute control over water.
NNOITRA: Exactly! It's like, "We get it! You don't have a penis!"
Jesus.
ULQUIORRA: I don't recall that being mentioned.
NNOITRA: And have you seen her tits? It's like,
"Stop reminding me of what I don't have, Harribel!"
"I don't make you feel bad for not having a mouth!"
ULQUIORRA: She does have a mouth.
NNOITRA: Well, I've never seen it.
ULQUIORRA: I'm kind of on my way to a thing right now.
NNOITRA: Yeah, maaan. So am I.
ULQUIORRA: Is that thing continuing to be upset, because Harribel?
NNOITRA: 'Cuz Harribel "what"?
ULQUIORRA: Just... because Harribel.
Seems to be how it is with you.
NNOITRA: I'm over it.
ULQUIORRA: Last time you were "over it" with another Espada... she went missing.
NNOITRA: Yeah, maaan; I got over it!
Not my fault these Femspadas can't get over their issues.
ULQUIORRA: Are those issues being a woman around Nnoitra?
NNOITRA: Hey man, you said it. You're the one with the problem.
ICHIGO: 'It's nice to spend some time alone like this. Just me and my thoughts.'
WHITE ZANGETSU: 'Yeah. It's nice.'
ICHIGO: 'Right; you.'
NELLIEL: ICHIGO, YOU LEFT ME BE-HI-HI-HI-HIIIND!
ICHIGO: Yeah, 'cos we're doing something important!
NELLIEL: SUPER BEST FRIEND MUST BE PUNIIISSHED!
NELLIEL: SUPER BEST FRIEND MUST BE PUNIIISSHED! ICHIGO: GUUUHHHAAAARRRRGGHH--!
ICHIGO: GUUUHHHAAAARRRRGGHH--!
(More groans of pain)
NELLIEL: Super bestest best friend Ichigo can never, ever leave again!
Otherwise, Nells is gonna track down everyone yous cares for...
and give 'em a big old vengening cham.
ICHIGO: Did you just threaten to eat my friends?
NELLIEL: Who? Wittle ol' Nel?
Probsably.
[Metallic energy SFX]
DORDONI: Come now, el zanahoria.
Your guard is so far down it has become a dance craze!
ICHIGO: Who the hell was that?
DORDONI: Olé!
It is I, el zanahoria.
Your greatest opponent.
ICHIGO: Pretty sure you're not Aizen.
...But then again, I never really got a good look at Aizen,
what with my spine being severed in the moment.
Are you Josh Groban?
DORDONI: I am not!
I am the man who shall defeat you here, el zanahoria.
I am Dordoni Alessandro Del Socaccio, Privaron Espada.
Master fighter. Dancer. Lover.
ICHIGO: Privaron Espada?
DORDONI: A former Espada, Señor Zanahoria.
ICHIGO: Oh... So...
Are you like, for example, as strong as Yammy?
DORDONI: Oh-ho, no, señor.
I am a natural Espada.
I am from before Lord Groban began creating artificial Arrancar.
Ask anyone, señor.
Natural is better.
ICHIGO: I don't have time for this.
ORIHIME: (Humming)
'I wonder what they plan to do with me here...'
'On one hand, Hueco Mundo is bleak and pretty much defined by entropy.'
'On the other hand, the Wi-Fi here is shockingly strong.'
'I don't think I've ever had a five-bar signal this consistently.'
ULQUIORRA: Ring-ring.
ORIHIME: Aah! Sorry! Did I do something? Is Lord Aizen angry with me?
ULQUIORRA: I don't know what a "Lord Aizen" is.
Did Lord Joshington III command you to call him that?
ORIHIME: Those were words.
ULQUIORRA: I decided to stop by because I noticed you don't have any friends in Hueco Mundo,
and that is just absolutely pathetic.
ORIHIME: Everyone here seems mean.
ULQUIORRA: There are many good people here. Specifically Starrk.
Harribel's alright too, I guess.
...You know, now that I think about it, yes; everybody here is pretty much a dick.
ORIHIME: What about you?
ULQUIORRA: I, too, am probably a dick.
By the way, did I mention that your friends have made it to Hueco Mundo,
and they have defeated Lord Joshington?
ORIHIME: (Gasp) They did?!
ULQUIORRA: No. I just thought you might enjoy hearing that.
ARRANCAR: [intercom] Attention, everyone!
The intruders from the human world have invaded Las Noches!
Be on alert!
ORIHIME: Ichigo *is* here!
ULQUIORRA: Oh, alright. Now I was half not-lying.
I imagine he'll soon encounter the Privaron Espada,
so I'll probably encounter him sometime after that.
ORIHIME: You think he can beat them? Aren't they Espada?
ULQUIORRA: Sure. They're Espada...
...but in the same way that Transformers: Armada's a TV show that people watched and think that they liked.
ORIHIME: (Gasp) Then he can win!
ULQUIORRA: If Ichigo encounters one,
I am confident that he will overcome them in a matter of moments.
DORDONI: GROORRGH!
HOLLOW!ICHIGO: Wow. That only took a matter of moments.
W!ZANGETSU: 'Good job! You're learning!'
H!ICHIGO: I don't need your praise, White.
BLACK!ZANGETSU: 'Good job!'
ICHIGO: Thanks, Zangetsu!
ZANGETSU: 'You're welcome.'
DORDONI: [strained] You have defeated me, el zanahoria.
Please...
as a last gift to a fallen warrior...
listen to my tale.
ZANGETSU: 'Don't do it!' ICHIGO: 'Not doing it.'
ZANGETSU: 'Good boy.'
ICHIGO: I've got people to save, Dondori.
I've got a question for you, though.
DORDONI: What is it?
ICHIGO: For all of the Arrancar around here in Las Noches, in the middle of Hueco Mundo...
in this Spanish-themed shade of reality...
Why are you the only person with a Spanish accent?
DORDONI: Whoa.
I had never thought of that before.
Perhaps you will have a chance to think of that...
...once you are DEAAAD!
Oh, well all right. There he goes.
ICHIGO: [distant] I'm here to fight Grimmjow, not you!
Live your best life!
DORDONI: I will.
I will live my best life.
[♫ Josh Groban - "Aléjate" ♫] MESSENGER: I have horrible news, Lord Smash Master Groban!
Dordoni has been defeated!
AIZEN: Mm-hmm?
MESSENGER: By Ichigo Kurosaki!
AIZEN: Mmm, yes.
And now the humans known as Yasutora Sado and Uryū Ishida
are heading to meet with the other Privaron Espada.
AIZEN: I don't know those names...
...is what I'd say if I weren't me,
but on account of being me, I do, in fact, know those names.
I probably also know their favorite foods. You can't say I don't.
MESSENGER: Uh-uh-very witty, Sir. Yes. Ha-ha.
Haa.
AIZEN: Szayel?
SZAYELAPORRO: Yes, I am here, Lord, bro, Sir.
AIZEN: How has your research collection been going?
Uncovered any juicy secrets about our invaders? Any scandalous subterfuge?
Hopefully it's not about favorite foods, though... what with me knowing those things already.
SZAYELAPORRO: No, Sir. My research into Abarai Renji has not yet borne fruit.
AIZEN: Renji?
You're researching Renji?
SZAYELAPORRO: Yes, bro, Sir.
AIZEN: Specifically Renji?
SZAYELAPORRO: He killed my brother.
I shall have my revenge.
AIZEN: Ohh. Yes, that makes sense.
Renji, though? Huh...
Of all the people the Espada would have a death grudge against...
never would have thought it to be him.
SZAYELAPORRO: He is a fierce warrior...
and all I know about him is that he killed my brother, Lord, bro, Sir.
AIZEN: All I know about Renji is everything else about Renji.
You may leave.
[Door closes]
Well...
Things are going well, then.
GIN: Indeed. Everything is going strictly according to plan.
Mmm.
AIZEN: Mmm.
GIN: Mm-hmm.
[Music cut-off] AIZEN: ...Renji though, Gin?
GIN: Renji, though?
AIZEN: It's almost upsetting.
No. No, there it is. It's upsetting.
Gin, I'm upset.
GIN: Set that was previously down is now up!
AIZEN: Oof.
But, seriously though... Who are Sado and Ishida?
(Fuckin'... the-- the line of, like, "I was just an empty shell devoid of purpose"...)
(Like... fuckin' Logan. He's saying he was Hollow...)