Medic: Do you take Viagra?
Michael: I don't.
(Jack laughs)
(Rooster Teeth intro music plays)
Gavin: Thoughts, boy?
Uh, yeah, I can't wait.
Right? Months in the making.
We're good.
Jack: Wow, alright.
Jack: As you're watching this, we're having fun, but we literally have a medic here, we have professionals--
(Laughter)
Michael: They didn't even-- I don't think they even saw it.
Jack: As crazy as this looks, we are being very, very safe.
Jack: Michael's actually being checked out. Gavin: Quite the audience we got.
Jack: So, do have a thumbs up on the Michael?
Medic: Yeah, we have a thumbs up.
Jack: (laughing) Alright.
Barbara: Oh, my God, Michael.
Here's what we're going to do: we're gonna fire this way,
we'll clear out the people here.
Jeremy: Good idea.
Uh, who are- who are my, uh, safety guys?
Jack: Right here and behind you. Medic: Okay.
Michael: Oh boy.
(Room talks)
It's like my birthday.
Jack: Are we doing shirt off? Medic: Yeah, shirt off.
Michael: Are you serious? Medic: Yeah.
(Laughter)
(Indistinct chatter)
Gavin: Nervous?
Jack: (laughing) No, I'm not getting shot.
Gavin: Michael, quite the audience you've got, boy.
I did it, ma.
Gavin: Alright, when it's in, just don't point it at anything you don't want to hit.
Jack: Okay, when it's in, I'm only gonna point it at Michael.
Gavin: Looks good.
Jack: Alright, safety is off. Lindsay: Our kids will love this story.
Hope it's worth it, kids!
(Nervous groans)
Jack: Alright, good luck.
(taser fires)
(slow motion screams and zaps)
(In pain) Oh, my God...
(Room laughs)
Ahh, it's so bad.
(taser fires, room screams)
(Michael groans)
Oh, my God...ahh, it's so bad.
It's so bad...
(crowd cheers and applauds)
Matt: You alright, dude? Michael: Yeah.
(Lindsay cheers)
Gavin: Hey, come around and get his face.
Medic: Okay, hold on a second.
Jack: Alright, we might have another charge in here.
Medic: No, we'll give it a quick minute.
(Michael pants) Jack: Alright, you're gonna cool off.
It really hurts.
Medic: But you know what? You did it with style.
Yeah? Did I?
Medic: Yeah, there was a lot of class.
I've never seen anyone get zapped like that. Jack: Look how hard his nipples are.
(Crowd laughs) Lindsay: I told you! I told you!
Matt: Yeah, she called it. She did.
Lindsay: They're rock hard.
Oh, God...
Matt: You might have learned a little bit about yourself right now, Michael.
I learned that my chest really hurt.
Medic: Okay, go for it.
Jack: Alright, let's do it again.
(slow motion screams)
(Zapping, Michael groaning)
Oh, God...
(Crowd laughing, zapping, Michael groaning)
Medic: Okay.
Okay.
Michael: Oh, God...
Whoo!
(crowd cheers and applauds)
Jack: Thank you very much-- Michael: Oh, my God...that was painful.
(exhaling)
Jack: And then we gotta pry these things out, too, so...
Medic: 'Cause they're barb.
Michael: Yeah, it really hurts.
Gavin: Was that worse than you thought?
It was s-- it was kinda worse than I thought.
The whole body was alright, it's just the chest.
Gavin: Yeah
The upper chest REALLY hurt.
Medic: Here's the fun part.
Michael: Oh, no.
Don't jostle 'em. Don't jostle 'em, please.
Oh...God...damn...
It burns.
Medic: What burns? The-
Michael: It's a- There's a sting.
(Crowd screams)
Matt: Who designed this thing?
Gavin: Just pull straight up.
Crowd: Oh!
Gavin: That was it.
Jack: Good lord!
Jeremy: God...
Jack: For the kids.
Michael: Yeah, those kids...
(crowd laughs)
Medic: So, um. Hey, so where you from? Michael: I'm from New Jersey.
-New Jersey? Okay. -Mmm-hmm.
(Michael groans) Jeremy: Aw, nice!
Yep...
Lindsay: Well done.
Yep...
(Michael exhales)
(Crowd cheers and applauds)
Whew.
Medic: Good job, man.
Thanks.
Gavin: You're alive! Michael: Yeah.
-You did it! -Dude...
(Gavin chuckles)
...the second one, right near the end, I squeaked out a, like, "stop..."
I said like a "no" or a "stop".
It felt like ten times longer.
Gavin: I can't believe you wanted a second go at it.
Medic: He didn't want it! Michael: I didn't want it.
we just said "think about the children"!
You raised an additional, like, $3,000 just to get that one extra tase.
So, that's all for the kids. So really, that's all from Michael. So thank you very much Michael.
(Crowd applauds)
Gavin: Do you wanna keep your probes? -Oh, yeah, sure.
You know what, I'm glad though that they already-- that we did it beforehand, then they donated the money.
'Cause in my head I was like "I don't want to do it again, but they already gave us some money".
"God damn it."
Medic: Wow, dude.
Jack: Here he is. Michael Jones, everybody!
(Crowd applauds)
See that? See, it's a barb. It's...
It's worse than a fish hook.
Lindsay: Check this out, your skin's still on it.
-Gavin: That's yours to keep. -Yeah. Thanks.
Man, that was amazing.
Did you see where I got shot? Look, check it out.
I took the Band-Aids off.
It's so much fun.
If you'd like to me do something else that's fucking idiotic.
Click somewhere. Probably eat something...or I'll throw something up.
Or, like, shove something up somewhere.
Yeah.
(Rooster Teeth outro sound)