h: I hope that everything is working, I really truly do
s: okay, so she's gonna... h: just, you know, look at the...
h: maybe the centre of the fireplace? s: yeah, just generally the fireplace
h: okay s: it's still a little bit... well, whatever
s: it's fine, right?
h: I just thought it would be kinda nice to have some more space around here
s: okay, yeah
s: okay you, this is gonna be funny, you say we're doing great
s: we're a little bit nervous because we've never interviewed
s: for a country club before and then I'm gonna begin and pretend that I have to burp
s: and then you need to hit my chest h: just putting my phone in my pocket
s: okay, mic is on, yes? h: yeah, okay
s: and we're looking at the fireplace? h: looking at the fireplace
h: make sure my head's in it
h: what's my voice? s: helloooo
h: [like a refined older english lady] hello and welcome to golden rivers
s: yeah, play it up like oooh h: okay, it's on
s: alright, put your glasses on
h: hello and welcome to golden rivers, like that?
s: and look over right here, alright go ahead
h: hello Mr and Mrs Burcaw and welcome to golden rivers
h: oh, I have to say how are you today, welcome to Golden Rivers
s: how are you?
h: I forgot, I'm focusing on my accent, do you think it's too British?
s: no, I think that's good, you do have a British accent
h: well should I do more of a British accent then?
s: yeah, cause that's fancy
h: I don't really know how to do a British accent but that's fine
s: you should say, my name is Anastasia, how are you doing today?
h: Annette Vontropolis? s: yeah, and I'm the manager here
h: okay
h: hi, thank you so much for having us s: yeah, nervous is an understatement
s: and when I, oh... you can't laugh both: [laugh]
s: oh no, jesus, ready? no laughing h: okay
s: we're nervous, we're so nervous h: we're so nervous, okay
s: it's not funny, we're not doing this whole video if we're laughing every time
h: you know I can't help it s: here we go, here we go
h: [clears throat] s: just act like you're really pissed at me
h: yep s: okay
h: I just have to get it out, I have to get it out, okay, okay
h: hi, oh thank you so much for having us s: nervous is an understatement
s: I..oh, oh god, sorry, one sec I have a burp brewing in my chest
s: oh, this happens to me sometimes, hun, can you give me the tap?
s: Hannah, you can't laugh h: I can't [bleep] help it
h: oh no, [bleep], oh my god it's too funny
s: let's pause and restart, this is all.. h: nooo
s: your character is angry, nervous, you're annoyed at me
h: I understand that but I'm already thinking about laughing
h: when you say something's brewing s: it's not... oh boy
h: oh my god Shane, that is the literal funniest thing I've ever heard of
h: hi yes, oh thank you for having us s: give me the tap
s: I'm sorry, oh, keep going, little bit more
h: I was laughing but I was doing it silently like this
s: I'm sorry ma'am, I have a .. yep, come up, get up
h: your problem is you change it every time
h: just do the same lines and then I'll get used to that
s: stop hitting that, you're gonna break that h: are you starting to say, come up, come up?
s: I'm sorry ma'am, I burp when I'm nervous, we can begin now
h: holy [bleep], I was snotting I was laughing so hard
h: but I just did this the whole time
s: we'd like to get some feedback, like some reaction to my burp, you know?
h: yeah, okay, and then I ask if you're wearing sweatpants
s: okay h: I'm gonna do this, okay?
s: uh huh
h: should I have like a clipboard or something?
h: sir s: Mr Burcaw
h: Mr Burcaw, and you just burped s: uh huh
s: completely forgot to change my trousers
s: is that fine? h: yeah
h: okay so then I think she should explain the dress policy
s: oh yeah, I have an idea, I'm gonna add something after you say it
h: why don't you tell me it first so I'm not shocked
s: I'm gonna say that I have that one shirt with the collar
h: this will never happen again
s: you know, I have that one shirt with the buttons and the collar
s: I can wear that when we come here
h: okay, I didn't laugh until it was over
h: favorite style of art, and I'll be like we love culture
s: yeah, we've been visiting...
h: is it more funny for us to both go downhill?
h: I think it could be funny if we just didn't realize what she meant
h: and instead we say, I say I was always a fan of dot art
h: I could say sculpting and she could be like that's so interesting
h: what's your medium? and I'd say playdough
s: yes yes yes, I've always really loved paint by number
s: well really any type of art by number, I'll use crayons, markers
h: I'm sorry, okay, okay, hold on, okay, go ahead
s: and then I'm gonna hand it off to you and be like tell her about your art
h: okay, okay
s: holy [bleep], this is never.. h: could make bloopers just out of this
h: typically playdough but I've used other--
h: other what, clay? s: say you've used clay before
s: but you really like the different colors that playdough offers
h: okay [clears throat]
s: and I'm gonna say yeah, color palettes are really important to us
h: yeah, okay
h: the different colors that you can--
s: here we go, here we go, here we go
h: yeah, I've always been a big playdough fan
s: we are a family that loves art of all kinds of colors and numbers
h: we'll have to cut right there
h: I thought you were gonna say art of all kinds
h: okay, then she'll ask how's your golf game, how should we answer?
h: what should we say? oh I could say that I've played on the Wii before
h: and I'm fairly good at that, so I'm very excited--
s: oh don't undersell yourself, hun
s: my golf game's been a little challenging
s: I've been working on figuring out how to hold the stick
s: I've been working on figuring out how to hold the club
s: it's a sad sight to see
h: oh, no s: ready?
s: wheel me out there on that green
s: ready? ready? h: yeah, hold on
s: but if you... if you wheel me out there on that--
h: my accent's getting more and more British as we go
h: at the beginning I was not doing that, welcome to Golden Rivers
h: that is not how I was talking at the beginning
h: shall I redo the intro? s: no, no
h: okay, and then what did I ... oh, what is your handicap?
s: yeah, do you play with a handicap? h: do you play with a handicap?
s: yeah, cause I was like, I'm working on holding the club
h: uh huh s: so you're gonna be a bit like oh
s: do you play with a handicap? h: is that a thing?
h: do you play with a handicap? s: uh huh
s: my handicap? oh, spinal muscular atrophy
h: and then would she say like, I meant your golf handicap?
s: yeah, she does that and I'll be like yeah it affects pretty much everything
s: okay, I meant your gold handicap
h: yeah, it affects every part of your daily life so you assume it would also extend to golf
h: you're sure
s: oh yeah, no, it... ready? h: yeah, I'm so sorry, okay
s: oh yeah no, it affects pretty much every aspect of my daily life
s: I assume it would affect my golf game as well
h: okay, I held that as long as I could
h: shall I take my glasses off now? like exasperatedly?
s: yeah, you're annoyed, yeah
h: I'll just put you down as not needing the golf package, um..
h: not um, I'll just do it again, wait what's the next question?
h: the CEO thing?
s: wait, I thought we were doing the phone call from...
h: okay, go ahead
h: alright, I'm going to put you down as not needing the golf package
h: here at Golden Rivers we have 15 of the area's most rich CEOs
s: wealthiest... most rich [laughs]
h: uh, we have rich CEOs, what's your job?
s: are you gonna say youtube? h: yeah, so which should we...
s: let's just try it, like don't think about it too much
h: okay s: let's just see what we say
h: right now my husband and I make youtube videos
s: kinda like a home video h: [whispers] yep, okay
h: but I have to say--
s: on our youtube channel we've tried to educate the public about disability
s: and how I use the bathroom
h: hold on
s: on our youtube channel we try to educate the public
s: on things like disability and how I use the bathroom, how I shower
s: how we are intimate
s: how we are intimate in the bedroom
s: it's mostly about our naked times
h: oh my god, what are your family values? that's a perfect lead in
s: we love halloween
h: okay, go ahead
s: our values, lets see here, we love--
h: okay, go ahead now
h: I would have to say freedom, liberty and justice
s: no, no
h: I need to say it so it's not funny s: freedom, liberty...
h: I'd have to say freedom liberty and justice, okay
s: every Friday is pizza Friday h: a healthy dose of fear
h: shall I say that? a healthy dose of fear?
s: parenting values are fear based [laughs]
h: we think, you know, there's nothing better than a healthy dose of fear
s: yeah, you disobey you get the wrist
h: what the hell is wrong with you? who says the wrist? Shane...
h: is that good? what? s: that was just so funny
h: is it? s: uh huh
h: this decision is becoming easier and easier, so... what was my question?
h: I looked at it and said it and now I don't remember
s: roll your eyes
h: we have very high standards for the guests
h: um, who would you bring as guests? s: awful Ashley
s: we give them all nicknames based on..
h: oh, rowdy Randy sounds like a charming fellow
h: she does bite but I would like to note...
s: we don't want another Kmart situation
h: go ahead - the last thing we want is another incident
h: then I'll be like, oh yeah, remember Kmart?
s: it's happened enough times now that we just want to be careful
h: remember-- [bleep], it came out, remember Kmart?
s: oh, don't remind me of Kmart
s: dear lord, you're gonna have a terrible time editing this
h: no I'm not, I'm good at getting right in there
h: uh, who are your sponsors? s: say that we require 6
h: we require 6 sponsors to gain admittance into Golden Rivers, so...
h: I said that weird, we require 6... require? require?
s: require h: require
h: who are your sponsors? oh god, I'm gonna go first
h: oh yeah, I mean we're a little bit worried about this question
s: yeah, it's difficult because we are so friendly and we---
s: ready? h: oooh
s: the two of us are the friendliest people you'll ever meet
s: but we've been wandering around your parking lot..
h: holy [bleep], oh my god I'm gonna die s: got it?
s: we approached someone getting out of their car
s: they seemed to want nothing to do with us, no matter--
h: hold on, hold on, okay
s: no matter how aggressively friendly we are with them
h: I like to wrap up by asking all of our potential members...
h: I'm sounding Australian now, I like to wrap up...I'm saying it weird
h: I'm losing my accent
h: do we have any questions, something about the food we were gonna say?
s: uh huh h: I do have one question
h: I noticed on the way in that there was a bowl of mints by the door
h: I was wondering if... I was wondering if those were free and if we could take some
s: just a handful h: think I got it?
s: yeah h: okay
h: we are so excited to hear from you and join and be a part
h: of your fantastic community
s: yeah, you might even call it a family
h: okay, I'll do it again
h: thank you so much, we are so excited to hear from you and join
h: and be a part of this fantastic community
s: it almost feels like we're joining a family
s: and that just fills my heart, oh, oh hun give me the tap
s: give me the tap
s: [yells] s: that can be the end
h: I was laughing the whole time, but that was funny right?
s: oh, that came off, yeah h: okay
h: was that good? s: [laughs]
h: I'm sweating s: [laughs]