You was focused on the money,
you put the highlight on there.
Stop doing that
put the highlight on you,
show who you are as a man.
If she don't like you as a man,
your character and what you bring to the table
what the hell is the point of having a relationship with her.
(Music)
Hey, what's up everybody
this is Stephan Labossiere
aka Stephan Speaks
back with another dating advice
relationship advice video.
A relationship advice video for men today, all right
and we're going to be talking about
don't go broke trying to date her.
Now listen, before we begin as always
be sure to subscribe to this channel,
like this video, share this video,
and I'm going to do a quick poll
in the comments yes or no
do you think women
are all about money, all right.
Yes or no
the women and the men chime in
let me know what you think,
but let's get into it
don't go broke trying to date her.
Now listen, the reason why I was even inspired
to do this video
is because I heard a story
from my boy Hafeez from the roommate's podcast.
And he talked about this guy
who was going on these dates
trying so hard to
financially keep up
with what he felt the woman he was dating
wanted to see
that this dude was putting himself
in a financial hole
trying to date this woman, all right.
And he got her,
he got her, they got in a relationship
and guess what, he's still spending the money
but at some point,
he started running out of the money, all right.
And the whole situation blew up in his face.
And so, I know there's a lot of men out there
who are rich and deep in their pockets
and it might be you
trying to impress women,
feeling like you've got to spend money
in order to get her attention
in order for her to like you
and all these things.
Now, I'm here to tell you stop.
Stop right now
do not go broke trying to date her.
Listen, let me make something very clear to you.
When a woman truly is into you,
she is not as focused on your money as you think.
Now let me clarify what I'm saying here.
I always say
women care about financial stability
and they do desire that inner man.
However, when a woman is dating a guy
and getting to know him
though she wants to know
he's financially stable,
she's not as focused on
how much he's spending
when she really likes the guy, all right.
So, this reminds me of
one time I was on tour
and I forgot what city it was in,
but this woman was telling me about how
you know these guys don't know how to date.
This guy took her to some
I can't remember what it was,
but it was like some simple
it was a very cheap date
I'm just going to tell you right now.
It was a very cheap date, all right.
And she was frustrated about the whole thing
and I said well, listen, I think
if you really liked him, you wouldn't have cared.
If you really liked him
you would have been happy with a walk in park.
You would have been happy with an ice cream date.
You would have been happy with a coffee date.
Like, when a woman is excited
about the man she just met
and getting to know that man
for who he is
or maybe she already knows some things about you,
she's happy to spend time with you.
She's happy that you're giving her attention
and pouring into her.
She's happy that you're showing her respect,
love, and that you're making an effort.
Again, it doesn't mean that
finances has no place
or she's not considering that
in the process,
but that is not her focus.
So, when you are finding yourself
dealing with a woman
who's putting a greater emphasis
on how much you're spending,
that woman
does not truly or she's not truly into you.
I was going to say that woman doesn't really love you,
but listen, she's just dating you.
So, she can't just love you yet anyway.
So, she's not really about you.
She's probably just going on a date with you
just to entertain it,
she ain't got nothing better to do.
She's like, I'm going to give this guy a chance
and because of that,
she needs the money coming out of your pocket
to validate her being there.
She needs to see that
to feel like she wants
to continue entertaining you.
But if she was really into you
that would not be a problem.
But let's put her to the side for a second
and let's put the focus back on you.
Here's a thing,
don't start
how you can't finish, all right.
I always say,
why the hell are some of you all
taking this woman to a five-star restaurant
knowing damn well
all you can afford is some
Popeyes and Hennessy, all right.
Like, bro, you ain't got
five-star restaurant money
but you're going to sit there
and scrape up every last dollar you can
because you feel like you got to impress this woman
in order for her to like you.
But at some point she's going to see
you ain't got it
and since you have now conditioned her early on
to think that you have this money
or that you live this certain lifestyle
now when you cannot keep it there
you create a bigger problem.
Start how you can finish.
Now granted, you can always upgrade later, all right.
If you only have a simple date money,
if you only have
coffee date, ice cream date money right now,
then be that,
let that be the case, all right.
Because you can always improve your finances
and later on take her to the expensive restaurant
or trips or whatever you want,
but don't start that way
when you currently can't finish that way.
That's a setup for disaster
every single time
not to mention
you should not be trying to win a woman
over with your money.
Again, there's nothing wrong
I want you all men to understand this.
There's nothing wrong with a woman
desiring financial stability in a man.
There's nothing wrong with her having
a certain financial desire
because we have our own desires as men
there's nothing wrong with that.
But you should not be trying
to win her love and attention
with money, all right.
Money should be the icing on the cake.
It should be the extra benefit that you provide,
but it should not be
what represents you.
It should not be how you define yourself.
And this is how a lot of men
find themselves in situations
where they're talking about well, these women
only want you for your money.
No bro, it's because you bring nothing else to the table.
It's because you led it with your money
how are you going to sit there
and promote your money
whether it be showing it off on the internet
or again,
going all out initially while you're dating her
and then you're mad
because she's focusing on your money.
You was focused on the money,
you put the highlight on there,
stop doing that,
put the highlight on you,
show who you are as a man.
If she don't like you as a man,
your character and what you bring to the table,
what the hell is the point of having a relationship with her?
What are you really trying to do here?
Now listen, if you're just trying to sleep with the woman
and I am not condoning that.
I am not promoting that,
but I'm just saying,
if your goal is to sleep with her,
that's one thing.
Again, I do not think that's the right thing to do,
but that is your choice as an adult, all right.
But this is about having healthy relationships
and having more successful dating
and if that's the case,
then again,
you don't need to be putting
such a focus on the money
that should be bonus, all right.
And so, to do that,
you really have to ask yourself
what do I bring to the table
outside of finances?
And how do I build my confidence
to feel that I can win her over
without shelling out a bunch of money, all right.
Because again,
even though there are plenty of women
who want financial stability
or want a man who's well off, all right.
When you have the kind of
character personality,
once you get in that door
because if she's going on a date with you,
that means she already has either
convinced herself to give you a chance
or she actually likes you.
It's one or the other
or again, she could just be bored.
So, that's the other thing,
but either way,
your foot's already in the door
and with your foot in the door,
if your personality, your character
and what you bring to the table as a man
is strong enough
you will still win,
but if not
and you lean on your money,
you will lose.
So, again, don't go broke trying to date her,
but listen here's another aspect you got to consider.
That money can be better spent somewhere else
no disrespect to the women,
but bro, you got to understand
you over here spending all this money
on dates and women
you ain't got your own house,
you ain't got investments,
you don't have a setup financially
to advance your life further.
You haven't invested in yourself,
in your business, in your purpose.
Like, why are you taking your resources
and trying to use it
to win over a woman
when that's not even a great foundation
for a relationship.
You got to get your priorities in order
and you got to make sure
you're spending your money in the right places.
Now listen, if you make enough money
where you can take care
of all those things I just mentioned
and still spend money on your dates in this woman
and that's what you want to do, cool.
But again, make sure
you're not letting that money define you.
Make sure you're not spoiling her
or conditioning her to a certain lifestyle
you cannot continue to maintain.
And make sure
you're not scapegoating your money, all right.
Do not let your money
be what represents the quality man
that you are or should be striving to be.
You got to work on you
and let yourself shine
and again, let that money
be an added bonus to the whole situation.
And so, even if she is drawn to you
because she knows you are successful
or heard
or has an idea
of your success or financial position,
she should only want to be with you
because of who you are as a man
not because of what you have in your pocket.
So, again, don't go broke trying to date her
understand if that woman is really into you,
you won't need to
because here's the last thing I have to mention,
the woman who really is into you
ain't trying to make it all about your money.
And what I mean by that is
when she really likes you
she now is concerning herself with
I don't want to come off looking a certain way.
I don't want him to think I'm all about his money.
So, she becomes a little bit more mindful
of how she behaves
when it comes to money
and how you're spending and all these things hell,
if she's really into you
and if it graduates to where she loves you,
she's going to want you to also be
mindful of your money to a certain extent.
She going to want to make sure
you're not just throwing it all away on dumb stuff.
Because she cares about you
but when she doesn't
she is going to let you come out of your pocket
go broke and not give a damn because it's all about her.
So, be mindful of that,
don't put yourself in that bad position
and know that you don't need to
when that woman is
someone that you can genuinely be with
because when there's a real connection there
and if you watch any of my other videos
you know I'm big on connection.
When there's a real connection there
that money is not the primary focus
and it shouldn't be ever.
So, again, I'm going to say it one more time
do not go broke trying to date her,
but vote in the poll below
do you think women are all about money yes or no.
Be sure to like this video, share this video,
subscribe to this channel,
and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.