Now before the break, we saw how Donald Trump obsessed
over the physical appearance of Miss Universe.
Reportedly calling her Miss Piggy,
uh, which many people were not impressed by,
including the actual Miss Piggy,
who was like, "Oh, I didn't hear you complaining
when you were tapping this, Donald."
Uh, now to be... that-that's not fair.
Miss Piggy would never have sex with Donald.
I'm sorry, Miss Piggy.
Now, to be totally fair,
it-it's common for people in many fields to be held
to high standards of fitness and beauty.
And not just in, you know, a Miss Universe Pageant.
Obviously, women face a lot more scrutiny in that department,
but even my contract for this show
says that I'm not allowed to have certain things.
Like, I'm not allowed to rock my trademark soul patch, right?
Uh, yeah, because apparently it tested badly with millenials,
uh, and baby boomers and single women,
and married women, um, and minorities,
and white people, and men, and children, uh, and animals.
But still, I miss you every day, patchy.
Uh, but even if, even if you grant that point.
The thing we are learning every day about Donald Trump,
is that he doesn't just treat beauty pageants
like beauty pageants.
In fact, during the campaign, he treated his fellow candidates
like they were running for Miss President.
This year Secretary Clinton became the first woman nominated
for president by a major party.
Earlier this month, you said she doesn't have,
"A presidential look."
TV REPORTER:
for comments he made about Carly Fiorina
in a
Trump reportedly saying, "Look at that face.
Would anyone vote for that?"
Well, it turns out, no. No.
But not because of her face.
There was an endless bounty of reasons
not to vote for Carly Fiorina
that have nothing to do with her face.
And this beauty standard of Trumps
isn't just a personal thing with him, right?
He applies these principles to his professional life as well.
Here he is on stage explaining his hiring policy
to a young woman who has just asked for a job.
-Isn't that horrible? -(laughter)
-WOMAN: Ew. -MAN: Ew. -(people groaning)
-"Ew" is correct. -(laughter)
Experience doesn't matter.
If Trump thinks you're hot, then you're hired.
So I guess now we can stop speculating
about what Trump's Supreme Court would look like.
(laughter)
Only difference is, no more lifetime appointments.
As 35, you're gone.
But that waitress' appearance
is what Trump is focused on, all right?
Because that's what he does. Every time.
As
this was even the case when Trump was asked
about his own one-year-old baby.
Now, Donald, what does Tiffany have of yours,
and what does Tiffany have of Marla's?
Well, I think that she's got a lot of Marla.
She's a really beautiful baby, and she's, uh...
she's got, um... she Marla's legs.
We don't know whether or not, she's got this part yet,
but time will tell.
(audience groaning and murmuring)
I don't care how many times you watch that.
-It never stops being creepy. -(laughter)
It's like seeing photographs of dogs wearing pantyhose.
(laughter)
No matter how many times you look at it,
it never stops feeling like you just walked in
on your grandma in the bathroom.
(laughter)
There is no context
in which Trump will not zero in on a woman's looks.
And we discovered a clip the other day
that exemplifies that perfectly.
It's December 2004,
and America is in a tizzy over a sex scandal
in which a 23-year-old middle school teacher was arrested
for having sex with a 14-year-old student.
AKA, a sex crime.
And in an appearance on a morning radio show,
Donald Trump was kind enough to share some of his thoughts.
DON IMUS: Yeah. Well...
You know, for a man who's so pessimistic about America,
about the world, about humanity as a whole,
Donald Trump has a surprisingly glass-half-full perspective
on adults banging middle schoolers.
I mean, wow, is there anything that Donald Trump doesn't judge
by how hot the woman is?
God forbid America, under President Trump,
is ever invaded by Sweden. He'd just be like,
"I'm okay with this, folks. Get me a white flag
and a bottle of cologne. We're gonna take it."
And, look, let's be fair-- Trump is not alone here.
Many men-- many men and many adolescent boys, you know--
for them, hooking up with their hot teacher was the dream.
Not me, though, because my teacher was a giraffe, okay?
-It was a totally different world. -(audience laughs)
No, guys, don't laugh, don't laugh, please.
Because this was the village's smartest giraffe.
It's not like we just put any old giraffe
in charge of the classroom. Come on, give us some credit.
Africa jokes:
I only say them
because some of you believe them.
The point is, a lot of men
probably have the same reaction to this hot teacher story.
But a lot of men also probably shouldn't be president.
Especially a man who thinks life itself
is nothing more than a beauty contest where every woman alive
is a participant, whether they want to be or not.
Because let's be honest here, folks,
there's only one pig in this whole story.
And it's the one who got slaughtered
at the debate on Monday.