[Intro Music]
I mean, with a start screen like this,
it just screams "great game".
Like, look at this.
Do you see the fucking flashing text over here?
I don't know what it says, but
I'm pretty sure I'd be FUCKING excited if I could read it.
Just so we can get a feel for
what the fuck we're about to play, and yes,
this is the game.
I guess the objective here is to fart
while you're standing next to this dude.
HOLY SHIT!
Is that--is that what happens
when you fucking don't fart?
You explode?
That guy's asshole just sent him into the stratosphere.
Let's take a look at the controls here.
So the space bar does...that.
And then, the left arrow key
also does that. VERY different.
And then they have a nice little description
at the bottom, here.
I think basically what it says is:
"Two assholes are waiting at the bus stop,
but you really gotta fucking shit.
Now you can't fucking hold it until you get home,
so you gotta squeak some
little bitty itty-bitty farts out.
But the guy next to you?
He's--he's like the fucking fart police.
And if he just smells a whiff of danger,
you're FUCKED."
That's like, basically what it says.
Just some fucking dudes, standing on the fucking
side of the road, waiting for the bus,
rippin' ass
next to some other dude,
who's also waiting for the same bus,
and apparently is eating your farts.
Not quite sure what the difference
between the farts are.
There's like a big fart,
and there's like a little fart.
I guess this guy's like a fart master
he can--Oh, I can't do the little fart anymore.
My little fart meter ran out!
How do you build that up?
Do you go through anal training?
I'm gonna fucking explode.
God damn it.
Do tractors drive down the street a lot?
Does that happen?
Or fucking forklifts
or whatever the fuck it is, I don't know.
I don't fucking give a fuck.
Wha--when does a fucking Formula 1 car
just drive down the street?
Fucking waiting at the bus stop
Oh, there's another one?!
Two in a row?!
What are the odds of that?!
I'm gonna fucking shit.
I'm gonna shit.
My asshole's gonna blow.
Oh.
What are you lookin' at?
FUCK!
2290?!
That's the smell of victory.
I'd fucking fart that
and sniff it myself.
Just a game of, uh, fucking
cat and mouse.
Or, I guess, cat and fart.
Trying to see how many farts you can get away with.
I don't know why this guy wouldn't
be able to smell the farts
that you're standing next to.
Where's the fucking bus?
Does it ever show up?
Is that just a fucking ruse?
Is this guy just getting his fucking rocks off,
shitting himself at the bus stop every day?
FUCK, I hit the wrong fucking fart!
It's a fucking delicate combination of--
I'm like fucking playing Street Fighter
with my anus.
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right.
Anal Gas.
Fuck.
This is it.
This is the whole game.
There's two farts.
Once you use all your chakra
to fucking small fart,
you're shit out of luck.
Emphasis on "shit".
Feces.
'Cause that's the whole god damn game.
I'm just standing at a bus stop fartin',
wiggling my asshole!
What the hell am I doing?!
Why am I playing this?!
Oh, Geoff told me to play this.
Thanks, Geoff!
I'm gonna fucking fart in his mouth when he's sleeping!
I'm probably not gonna do that,
I'm just gonna fart on his desk when he's not there.
Where's the bus?! How long am I waiting?
I'm not made of fucking methane over here!
Oh, fuck!
FUCK!
What's this guy looking at?!
Who's gonna call me out?
I gotta fucking fart,
why am I still standing there?
Just walk away!
Fucking crop dust,
take a walk around the block!
You don't stand next to a dude in a fucking
business suit, holding a briefcase
just unloading your asshole on the fucking sidewalk!
[mouth fart noise]
Oh--oh did you hear that? My bad.
He's absolutely shitting himself.
If you hold the space bar long enough,
you hear the distinct sound of diarrhea
coming out of his ass.
It's like the loudest fucking vehicles
known to mankind assembled on
one single city street.
Good thing nobody's driving a fucking hybrid.
Look, he's just standing there!
He's not even looking at me!
You know he'd be smelling something by now!
I've been farting for like, 45 seconds straight.
I have fucking 4000 points worth of farts.
At what point do you start to
fucking smell something going wrong?
What's this guy gonna do when he gets on the bus?
Is this what he's gonna do on the bus?
He's gonna fucking kill everyone there!
Everyone will be dead!
COME ON, I GOT NOTHING!
You got to--look at that guy!
Oh, you're shocked now?
You're shocked now, you asshole?!
Oh, aww, maybe he shit his pants a little bit.
Maybe a little bit fucking squirted out.
I don't give a fuck!
I'm gonna fucking go to your house,
and I'm gonna fucking fart
ALL OVER YOUR FUCKING WIFE!!!