My name is Shan. I'm a father of 2 boys, Ciaran and Ruan. This show is about my life as a
dad, and how I’m just making it up as I go along.
So there seems to be a bit of a trend of gender-neutral parenting, where you don't force any stereotypes
on your kids as far as toys or clothes are concerned. Even companies like GAP or Abercrombie
now have clothes which are gender-neutral, in a sense that, a girl can wear a camouflage,
and a boy can wear pink. In my experience, it seems that from a very young age, there
is a natural inclination of boys and girls towards different toys.
My boys are no exception.
They like their swords, and their rifles.
Today we've got some toys which we picked
up in the girls section of the toy store, to see if my boys will like them.
So of course, boys and girls can be artsy and crafty. But when you look in the stores,
there's definitely way more for girls than there is boys.
We have this one here, it's "Florist".
The fact that they're making flowers, I actually don't think it matters because
their mum is a wedding planner, and recently the boys helped her to make like flowers for
a wedding. And they enjoyed that, so I think they're quite up for making flower designs.
So when we first saw the craft set, because the box has a girl on the front,
I think Ciaran noticed that straight away.
Ciaran: That's a girl toy! Shan: Ruan, what do you think?
Ruan: Nope!
Shan: But girls and boys can play with the same thing, right?
Ciaran: Yeah...
Well it's pretty easy to push through and get them to play with it. They didn't seem
to be too put off by that. I guess the boys quite liked the roller press concept, I mean,
because it's a simple machine. They seem to be able to put it together, and they understood
"Oh, we're making a flower."
Ruan: Tada!
Shan: And who you gonna give your flower to?
Ciaran & Ruan: Mama!
Shan: Who else do you wanna give flowers to?
Ruan: Nobody else...
Ciaran: What about your girlfriend, Ruan?
Ruan: Nope!
Ruan: I took away my girlfriend.
Shan: Remember the girlfriend at that campfire?
Ruan: Er... nope.
Shan: She's long forgotten is she?
Ruan: Mm hmm...
So yes, mum is still number one.
Shan: So boys, what do you think of this toy?
Ciaran: Quite good.
Shan: So you wanna keep this toy?
Ruan: Yes, to make for everybody.
Shan: To make everyone a flower?
Ruan: Even if it's a girl!
So this is one of the hottest, trendiest toys for girls apparently.
It is called "LOL Surprise!".
And, you're supposed to unwrap it, and each layer of unwrapping reveals something new.
And it's gonna be a piece of her wardrobe, or a piece of her outfit. And there's like
many different girls to collect, I think.
I have a feeling the boys might not be bothered to like go through the difficulty of unwrapping.
Because even now, you know, at the age of 4 and 6, if they get a packet of chips, they're
like "Dad, please unwrap for me!"
So I think I'll have to do a lot of the unwrapping.
Shan: Next toy is... this!
Ciaran: Okay, we should open this up.
Well it's not obviously a girls toy to start with, so the boys were very keen. You get
in there, you start ripping off paper, so they're having fun from the start.
Ruan: Quite hard!
Ruan: Ughhh!
Shan: Come on, are you the Hulk?
Ciaran: My turn!
You probably saw that Ciaran like wants to do it, you know.
"It's my turn first, it's me first!" And because he's the older brother, he's used to being
first actually. When we read bed time stories at night, we read Ciaran's story first, and
then Ruan's story. But I mean, I've learnt over the years that it's very important to
try to "It's your turn and then it's his turn", and try to have that 50-50 split. And usually,
they're okay with that.
Shan: One for Ru, one for Ciaran.
So you unwrap the layers and there's little like stickers in the first couple of layers.
Then the first thing of note was a tiny little coffee cup, and Ruan got it first.
And so obviously, Ciaran wants it.
Shan: Ciaran, this is Ruan's level. You wait for yours.
Shan: What is it Ru? Ruan: Uh...
coffee cup.
So we got to the next layer, which was Ciaran's turn. Unwrapped it. Luckily, he got a toy,
because you need one to have a toy and the other to have a toy, otherwise it's gonna
be a real fight. So Ciaran got the roller skates.
Shan: Okay, last level is for me.
Ruan: Can you give me?
Ciaran: I got it!
Shan: Hey Ru, you got this one.
Unfortunately my boys are very like, they want what the other has. There's a lot of
snatching as well, and they will also taunt each other.
Ruan: You can't get the coffee cup!
Ciaran: I'll get it!
If you want me to, I'll get it.
Shan: Ciaran, Ciaran.
Ciaran: He said "Get the coffee cup".
Ruan: You're not the boss!
Ciaran: Yes I am the boss.
Ruan: You're not! Daddy... Kor kor not the boss!
Ciaran: Yes I am the boss!
That happens a lot in my life unfortunately.
So eventually, you get down to the doll, and then you're supposed to put it in water.
I wasn't really sure why, but we kinda worked out that she sorta sucks a bit of water into
her head, and when you squeeze it, it's gonna squirt it out. And so actually, this was the
point where the boys went crazy, because this is the action moment.
Ciaran: Fire! This is the fire target.
Ruan: Sorry!
Shan: So this squeeze fires water too?
Ruan: Yeah.
Shan: My goodness.
And they really enjoy the toy, whether it's meant for girls or not, because it has this
action, this squirting water, in their dad's face unfortunately.
Yeah, they really enjoyed it,
and Ru is still playing with it, like hours later actually.
Shan: So what do you think of this toy, Ciaran?
Ciaran: Brilliant!
Ciaran: Brilliant? Ruan: Because we shoot water in your face!
Right?
I wouldn't be surprised if we were in a toy store and the boys see one, and say
"Hey! Can I have another one?"
I wouldn't mind buying it, for sure. But it also has this element
of collecting. And if the boys wanted to start collecting everyone...
To be honest, I would be a little bit
"Mmm, do we need so many dolls in our house?"
So I guess since the dawn of time,
one of the most popular toys for girls has been the baby doll.
And still now of course when you go to the girls section,
there's lots and lots of baby dolls.
And we have one here today!
So, I mean, you don't get more of a girl's toy than this.
I mean, in our modern age of course, dads are plenty involved in kids' lives.
Like I mean, I've looked after our babies as much as their mum,
but there is no stronger difference, I suppose,
between boy and girl toys than when it comes to baby dolls.
You would never get this advertised to a boy, you would never see a boy on the front.
It's all about girls.
Yeah, I definitely don't think the boys will be keen on playing with this one.
Having said that, they like babies, you know. If we have a friend who's got a
young baby, the boys are quite keen to look after it, or you know like "Oh, so cute".
So, who knows? Maybe they will. Maybe they'll embrace the baby.
Ciaran: Why is everything a girl thing, daddy?
Ciaran: Why do I have to have a baby?!
Ruan: Baby!
Shan: What do you think?
Ruan: Hate that!
Ciaran: I'm not keeping this.
Ruan: I'm never keeping that! Shan: Boys...
Shan: Ru, you're not an animal, lets open it properly.
Ruan: I like to be like an animal. I want to be like a koala.
Ruan: Dad! Look at me!
Shan: Don't slap the baby, Ru.
Ruan: He's not a real baby, he can't cry.
At least he knows the difference. At least that's one thing.
Shan: Okay, I'm just going to the bathroom for a second.
Ruan: Baby, open your mouth.
Ciaran: Ah, wake up. Wake up.
Ruan: Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
Ciaran: Wake up and drink your milk.
Ruan: Open your mouth, baby!
Or I'll kill you!
Take your eyeball...
Oh god... Yeah, that's boys playing with dolls, unfortunately.
Shan: Okay boys, so I had to use the toilet. What were you doing with the baby?
Ruan: Um, we...
Ciaran: Feed it milk. We were feeding it to eat.
Ruan: And then we sleep him...
Imposters! So, they won't be babysitting anytime soon, I'm afraid
So I wanted to see if they would like sing a song, like a lullaby, if you're trying to
put a baby to sleep.
Shan: Lets just sing a song? Last thing.
Ciaran: Okay.
Shan: What song?
Ciaran: A Chinese song.
Shan: A Chinese song?
Ruan: 一闪一闪亮晶晶 (Twinkle twinkle little star)
满天都是小星星 (How I wonder what you are)
And for the modern parent, that's like the ultimate. If your child is able to do something
in another language, because we don't speak Chinese at home. So this is purely from school.
It really feels good, I was very proud. I don't know what he's really saying unfortunately,
but I hope it sounded okay.
Overall today I was quite pleasantly surprised! Maybe I should give my boys more credit.
I thought they would be very put off by "Oh no, this is a girl's toy. I'm not gonna play
with this one."
But for most of them, they were quite happy to play with it. And so this
gender-neutrality, actually is probably more me that needs to change than them.
They seem to be fine. I mean they go to mixed schools
and I think they're quite used to playing
with girls, and playing around girl toys.
Also I feel like the packaging makes a huge difference. The box had a girl on the front,
and if it didn't it was very plain. I don't think the boys would have twigged that this
is supposed to be for girls. Would I buy them more girls toys? Honestly, probably not.
I probably wouldn't mix up their toys. But I would encourage people perhaps to socialise
more with girls or boys, you know. Because my boys in their social circle, really there's hardly
any girls. And maybe I should make more of an effort to find friends who have daughters,
because I think that would be quite helpful actually. A playdate with girls where you're
naturally surrounded with a bit more of a girl's world. I think it's healthy that men
and women grow up not seeing the other gender as so far away from them,
like a rival or the opposite.
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