Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier.
And welcome back to "Oh... Sir!! The Insult Simulator".
Now I tried to start recording this a little bit ago.
Uh, but I went onto Facebook to get a little, like, pre-game roast going on.
And I asked you guys to do whatever you could do
to roast me and try to hurt my massive, throbbing ego.
And unfortunately, or fortunately, it was so good
I spent like an hour and ten minutes just reading you guys' roasts
and they were SO GOOD
that I had to dedicate an entire video just to that,
But I'm gonna get to the game here but I'm gonna give you a little
*kiss noises* sweet taste of what's yet to come
in the future full roast video because
some of these are so good that I can't
let them slide by without me seeing it
and I just want i'm gonna get a little little
little taste. "I don't know what's more
fake, your shallow personality or the 15
million fake youtube accounts you made
and used to subscribe to yourself to try
not to feel ashamed
you're not an engineer." "You are the thing
we think of when we hear the year "2013"
or "Rawr XD" and your popularity has been
shrinking since then. The only people
watching you are emos and
twelve-year-olds by the way Five Nights
at Freddy's isn't cool never was." EEEEuuuuh my
pride
"I'd slap you but that would be animal
abuse. Furthermore you look like the type
of guy that will set up ads for a Happy
Tapioca." I gotta google what a Happy
Tapioca is. Do I want to google what a
Happy Tapioca is?
OH! oh ookay "to be butt fucked and submerged in
pudding." "Well mark you did become an
engineer after all. You engineered a way
to make a living off preteen fangirls
with your crocodile tears videos while
they fuel your enormous ego. No wonder
you can't keep an assistant longer than
a few months, nobody else can fit in that
house with how big your head has gotten."
*Markimoo mating scream*
"College dropout, creative cop out, poorly
managed professional relationships. At
least you can cling to your ego, Mark,
because nobody on this earth can roast
you harder than you've roasted yourself.
Also, you look like the product of
Jacksepticeye anally douching a mixture
of hot sake and Dr. Jekyll's
potion."
What?!
"You only started doing skits
as intros to make up for how unfunny
your actual content is." You do realize
that my skits are my content and I made
them. So if they're funneh,
I'm... funneh! "The reason all your
relationships fail is because you
narrate the sex and then sob after. Maybe
you should grow neckbeard and stop
showering since you've already got the
white knighting fedora bullshit down to
a science."
Okay I'm gonna check my bruised ego and
limp into the game now.
Well, ow my pride. That was a good
one.
Okay but there's so many more if you
want to find them. Uh just go to my
facebook page and it'll probably one of the
recent posts if not the one that is most
recent. There's so many other ones and
the full roast video is coming very soon
don't worry about that. But we are going
back into "Oh... Sir!! The Insult Simulator"
and I'm gonna do a fuckin tournament bruh!
I can take any of you on.
I've just been bruised like nobody's
business by my own fans and I'm still
standing and not crying. So I believe I
can take whatever Character: "I wish to complain about
this parrot I purchased." I already did
this one. I lost so i guess I can
win. Character: "It's dead that's what's wrong with it."
Hey wait I'm doing this now?
Oh blah blah blah blah
Alright...
Your hat belongs in one of these cages
and was born in...
I'm going to hold on to this
I'm going to hold on
You ain't got that bad
So I'll continue mine in the next one
character: "Your wife" Mark:Thinking about it "supports this bloody pet shop!"
Well it's your pet shop!
Why would that be bad?!?
My wife supports your pet shop.
Your hat belongs in one of these cages and was born in y..your
B-born in a muppet!
Born in a muppet and!
must be fun at parties?
almost there
hang on, I'm really winding this one up!
You commoner!
*Girly screeching?*
Character:Your hat belongs in one of those cages and was born in a muppet and must be fun at parties, you commoner!
Wabooshkie!
I nailed ya.
Nailed ya to the wall!
character: "Your math teacher supports your country!"
Again you are just saying really nice things
I mean its seems like what people should do.
Your sense of style
is stone dead and looks like a cheap suit. Boop!
character: "Your sense of style is stone dead and looks like a cheap suit!" *santa claus laughter?*
I've found your weakness Mrs. Maggie.
Oh *pompous*
Barely a dent!
Your sister has bad breath and smells of
I need to sip my tea
Let me think about this
a cream faced loon!
Boink!
I got lucky on that one!
bitch. take dat erghh
Why would she?!?!
Why would she?! I don't like a dead parrot!
I'm trying to return a dead parrot!
Why would my mom like a dead parrot?
Your father...
doesn't own a colour telly
and
still uses Windows Vista!
Yeah! Take some of that!
Wh- I mean?
Does that mean I'm so great that my wife wants to be me?
Oh no..don't combo. You-!
are not part of Europe
and....you are not apart of Europe and have a steaming romp with a public loo.
Badaboop!
Take some of that!
Ooh! and for only one more hit and you'll be dead
Ok? That's just opinion!
I'm sorry madame you are dead
You're gone and dead x4 *scottish accent?*
You're gone and dead x2 *more offensive scottish accent*
There we go! Oh hell yes!
Oh yes!
Take some of that you're gone!
That doesn't make any sense?!
Yes I'll be back.
The end!
Ok, so the tournament is stupid because
I was just about to do the same thing that I did before
so I'm just gonna do them one at a tiiiimeee
Train compartment? Well that's
a new one I'm gonna do that one. Cause
I haven't done it. Well I'm about to roast someone reeeaal good
Oh, you again.
Jesus..
*Women* Your seat!? Does it have your name on it?
Probably..
*man* I think so, but I have a ticket.
*women* first class, eh, you don't look like first class to me!
Oooooo! Really?
Well, then.
*accent* Your sense of style..
talks to
strangers.. and
sits next to - oh please give me something good
*guy sips tea and let's out audible sigh*
A stewed prune.
*guy* your sense of style talks to strangers and-
Meeooo
and sits next to a stewed prune.
meeeeeow
*lady wails cause she got roasted*
*lady* your house admires pictures of your son!
*surprised gasp*OOOhhh
Oh mah goodness
I can't believe this.
Your face..
Oh this is gonna be good.
Oh this is gonna be REAL good
your face has worse hairrrr
yes, you have a beeeaarr-d
Than..
an English pig dog.
AND.. Some bloody minger.
Whatever the hell that is.
*guys sips tea and sighs*
ah, fuck, nothing.
*guy*your face has worse hair than and English pig dog and some bloody minger!
MinGER, Sorry I messed-
Why are those tiny?
*lady* Some dog was defeated by your seat!
What does that mean?
Alrighty then..Your math teacher is vile
And...
Is worthless!
I wanna try to continue this one
*guy* hmmmm...
*Lady* Your cousin's car looks like your seat because you are a spoiled brat!
Oh, ok. And.. Maybe I should go for the world's biggest one
*guy* hehhhh
Honey, we're finishing this off!
*Reading* Satan is your father?
Oh, jeez.
*lady* Satan in your father!
Yayyy! I got a devil dad!
*Man* Your math teacher is vile and is worthless and sits next to your mother, honey!
Oh, deary me..
*Lady wails cause she got roasted again*
How rude *emphasize 'd'*
You.. never watched Star Wars.. and
- Oh you just gave me ammo!
You never watched Star Wars AND are an ill-nurtured whey-face AND
Were burnt like a witch!
*guy sips tea loudly* SLRRR
Eh- bum cancer - have bum can- have bum cancer .. ah that didn't work ok never mind then
Fine!
*guy* You bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh
And, are and ill-nurtured whey-face and were burnt like witches!
Why did it just go "bleh bleh bleh bleh blah" ?!
Why didn't it go *fast* bleh bleh bleh bleh blah?
*lady wails from huge bleh bleh bleh blah roast*
Why bleh bleh blah?
*lady* Your sister was defeated by this conversation!
I don't think so..
*guy moans from weak roast*
Your defeated by this conversation.
Ooh, shit, I know your weakness.
Your sister..is worthless! And..is deceased
Y-your sister's worthless and dead! I'm- that's quite rude but pardon my French
I'm trying to make myself a little nicer there..
*guy* Your sister is worthless and deceased, pardon my french
Ehhhhuhuhuuee
Ahhohohohohoo *Santa laugh*
Hehehohaho- Dead.
*lady* Your father stalked your seat!
Well, maybe YOU did so get the fuck out. *high level of sass*
*lady* So now you know, I'm not a first class myself! I just wanted to see how it felt. And it certainly was worth it!
Uhhuh!
*man* If you get it, I won't sit where your filthy bottom was
Nice, everything worked out in the end!
I'll just go on my merry way and not bother with any of this I think...?
I think that's the lesson to be learned here.
Have we gotten anymore.. Have we gotten anymore levels..
Have we unlocked anything...?
No, no, no we haven't.
How do we- how do we unlock it?
*low voice* how do we unlock things?
*man* Rrra!
Oh Jesus..
I guess we have to do the tournament.. That's what we have to do, right?
Can I insult a human?
Oh! You can insult anybody. Oh, ok, let's do this. Why not?
Dialing up on the internet. HELLO! Who want's to argue with the Bum Bum?
Anybody..
Oh, helloooo! Oh hello!
Your father..is very naughty ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and..was in jail.
Oh, he got an 'and'.
*guy loudly drinks tea and audibly sighs*
See If I got anything.
Ha! Your father is very naughty and was in jail, and I have prrroof! HAHA!
Bitch!
*rough voice* Your son acts like a dead parrot and doesn't like your beloved Auntie!
That's really Serious Sam there
Ouchcabbibles.
*guy* Your father is very naughty and was in jail, and I have proof!
*ding*
Bam!
YEAHHH! I did more damage!
Take some of that!
Don't take your father.
Ah! He took your father.
'Course he took your father that's what he likes to do.
Yourrr.. math teacher.. and..your sister admires pictures of a hamster
*rereads* your math teacher and your sister admire pictures of a hamster, you commener!
*guy* your math teacher and your sister-
EUUHHHHHH
Admire pictures of
BUEEEHH
A hamster, you
BLEEEUAHOOO
commoner
*rough voiced guy groans from that huge roast*
BOOSKIE!
*Rough voice* Your father has only local multiplayer and wanted to be your husband!
Oh no, he knew my weakness. Dammit! Why don't I know your weakness?
I don't have your character!
Dammit!
Alright. fine.. Your father is rude and changes into a hamster.
Dammit I'm gonna loose this one, aren't I?
He knows my weakness!
*rough voice* Your country looks like this parrot and is rather plain, and I'm serious!
Ah, fuck yew
*guy moans*
Euwww
*guy* Your father is rude and changes into a hamster!
Yay I got double hamster!
Hell Ya!
I didn't even know about that! Take some of that!
Let's see..
Ok, your f- this conversation farts in your general direction.. uh..
*guy loudly sips tea and sighs*
I don't know, I'm gonna hold off..I'm gonna build a better one next time
As long as I don't die on this one, which I don't think I will...
*rough voice* Your husband belong in of those cages, I bet!
I bet why I'm gonna get you next time. Oh, I'm gonna whale on ya.
I'm gonna whale on ya..
Let's see.. this conversation farts in your general direction and..
What there's no and!?
*guys slurps tea loudly and sighs* AHHHH
The fuck!
THE FUCK!!!
Oh, c'mon!
There was nothing there!
There was nothing I could do!
Fuck!
There's nothing!
*giant grunt* Euuuhh
Ahh fuck!
Euuahhh Fucking fuck!
FUUCK
I could've - I - we could've drawed!
It's fucking bullshaaat!
Euurh *annoyed grunt*
*rough voice* Your father was an alien hamburger!
That's kinda cool actually.
I'm happy about that one.
*guy* This conversation farts in your general direction.
I got screeeeewed
*rough voice* you are clearly not a parrot expert. I can assure you.
Oh, oh you don't - you don't even get - oh your interlo- HEY! your interlo-CUE-TOR ran away
I'm assuming that that means I am the winner! hhhhHAHAHAHA!
Even though it says defeat up there..
Alright, so I lost my first multiplayer match Because I got screwed over and that's why
So anyway, that is "Oh...Sir!!! The Insult Simulator"
Hope you enjoyed that, I shamed myself on the internet, but I shall win again
And also I wanted to mention.. I am not offended by any roasts in any way.
I can take.. pretty much anything you guys can dish out. Or anyone here can dish out.
Um, I'm actually kinda happy about it. (aww such a smol bean)
It-it's weird to be insulted and be like, "aw, so sweet" *laughs*
It's a bizarre feeling but, y'know, you know it has to come from a place of love before it can come from a place of hate.
So either way thank you everybody so much for watching..
I really am tickled by the response to this because some of them are so..
ridiculously creative, that they just make me laugh.
And others just *fake sad voice* make me cry and as soon as the camera's off I'm gonna cry
*inaudible*
But either way, thank you everybody so much for watching, and thank you everybody so much for contributing
Hope to- hope you guys enjoy the full roast that's gonna come later.
So thanks again for watching. And as always, I will see YOU in the next video! Buh-bye!
*upbeat outro music*
That face tho... XD