Judgment is a very normal human emotion.
It only makes sense for people to see someone who acts differently than the norm believes they should, and to pass a minor judgement on these people.
Especially if the people are in a different class, religion, or in some cases, race.
Is it normal?
Sure.
Is it right?
No.
Humans judge without remembering that they themselves are also not perfect.
However, some people know this, and want to find ways to be better and make their lives a judgement-free zone.
For those people, today we have 12 ways to stop being judgmental!
Stick around till the end to see the best tip.
Number 12: Set a goal of compassion.
Compassionate people are almost never judgemental.
If they are, it’s probably for a good reason.
Practicing compassion is one of the best ways to fight judgemental thoughts.
This is due to the idea of compassion itself.
Treating people with genuine kindness and joy, acting as if these people are someone’s friends in this world everyone calls life instead of enemies, will not only change their mindset on life, but it will combat those nasty thoughts.
Thinking, “Oh, that person probably cut me off because they’re running really late for work instead of wanting to just be mean,” is so much healthier and less judgemental than,
“Damn!
That jerk cut me off!
What a terrible driver!”
Number 11: Practice mindfulness.
Mindfulness is the art of being aware of one’s own thoughts, ideas and decisions.
This is an especially excellent practice to become dedicated to when trying to be less judgemental.
Breathing techniques that are used when angry will cause an amazing difference in what thoughts cross the mind of someone trying to change the way they think.
Mindfulness is an excellent technique to use when trying to become less judgemental, and it can be perfect in making sure that thoughts stay “clean.”
Number 10: Remember your own weird habits.
Before judging someone else, remembering what exactly makes someone weird on their own is one of the best ways to stop those judgy thoughts.
Before making fun of someone’s style, a person who is trying to become less judgmental might consider the Doctor Who socks stuffed away in the drawer of their closet.
Before they scoff at someone digging into Taco Bell instead of organic foods, they may also remember what it was like to be a broke college student and how the idea of fifty-cent tacos felt.
Remembering that no humans are perfect makes judging someone very difficult.
After all, if no one is perfect, then who could we compare others to?
If people were to compare everyone to themselves, then it wouldn’t be fair.
After all, they have weird habits too!
Number 9: Imagine saying your thoughts out loud.
This is a good one.
The perfect example of this is when someone talks all kinds of mad drama, saying they’re going to kick some major butt outside, until the person they’ve been dogging out suddenly decides they’re sick of it and stands up.
Nine times out of ten, the crap-talker starts apologizing really quickly.
The same applies for the idea of saying thoughts out loud.
If someone is trying to be less judgemental, the practice of thinking of how it would sound to say them out loud would be useful.
Imagine if someone said, “Wow, what stupid hair!” to someone’s face.
This could instigate a fight, or worse, make the person cry and run off and cause a scene.
If most people said what they were thinking out loud, people would have a lot less friends, that’s for sure.
So, if someone is trying to fix their thoughts, just imagine how people would react to being told these thoughts to their face.
If the imagined reaction isn’t a nice, bright smile, then it probably should not be said.
Number 8: Fault the action, not the person.
Imagine the scenario painted in the previous examples.
Maybe someone cut a person off in the road because they didn’t realize their exit was coming up, not because they wanted to be a bad driver and cause the person they had cut off to have a bad day.
The person who bumped someone else and spilled coffee and didn’t say sorry may have been trying to race to the train before it went home.
The person who was cursing someone else on the train may have just lost their own job.
There is often always a reason for someone to act like a jerk, but a good rule of thumb for trying to fix the thoughts in this time is to fault the actual action done, not the person doing it.
It’s easy to call the person a jerk, but it’s much harder to go, “Darn it, the coffee spilled!
Crap!” whilst trying not to blame someone else for it.
Number 7: Cut the gossip.
Someone who engages in gossip around others almost always is often talked about as well.
If someone is comfortable talking behind the back of someone else, then they’re probably overcompensating for the fear of them being talked about by others as well.
They may be trying to overcompensate by giving others more to talk about than themselves, illustrating just how bad other people are versus themselves.
It can be a good idea for someone trying to be less judgemental to stop gossiping or hanging out with people who also gossip.
Then, they can hear the way people truly talk about others when they’re around.
They can hear that it isn’t always ridicule and rudeness, and in turn, be less afraid.
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Number 6: Eliminate insecurity.
Just as illustrated above, judgement often comes from insecurity.
People who judge are afraid that people are judging them based on their own judgemental rules, and they try to get ahead of their own feared ridicule by judging others.
Eliminating insecurity is easier said than done, but it can be done.
Remembering that others aren’t perfect either and that they have no right to judge can help eliminate the fear of being judged.
This can aid in eliminating insecurity.
Becoming proud of what makes someone different is another way to eliminate insecurity and become better.
Instead of being ashamed of a nerdy collection of comic books, instead thinking of it as a cool prized possession may help eliminate the fear of being made fun of.
Number 5: Say ten positive things a day.
It’s hard to become easily upset and judgemental when each day starts off as an affirmation.
When people tell themselves they are beautiful and strong in the mirror before they go off to conquer the day, they may find themselves to eventually believe these things over time.
So, one way to become less judgemental is to focus on the positives during the day.
Reminding themselves that today is a perfect sunny day, or that they’re happy that they have a great job might make someone go from judgemental to positive and happy over time.
Number 4: Expand your social circle.
It’s hard to judge others when the ones who are often judged are within the social circle of the person doing the judging.
For instance, if someone finds themself having racist tendencies to African Americans, and then they make a friend who is of that race, they may begin to find their thoughts to be a tad bit uncomfortable.
They may suddenly realize that they don’t want to be this way and change the way they think in order to become a less judgemental person.
It’s hard to judge a woman for wearing a hijab when a co-worker has expressed exactly why she wears it and how empowered she feels in it.
Expanding the social circle is one of the best ways to overcome judgement by meeting and spending time with the exact people who are often judged.
Number 3: Discover what triggers the judgemental thoughts.
Finding out what actually causes these thoughts is another great way to prevent having them in the first place.
Cut off the ideas at the source, if you will.
Figuring out what triggers the ideas can help someone stop having these thoughts as well.
For example, if judgemental thoughts occur when someone sees a person belonging to another religion, they might stop to ask themselves why they’re thinking these thoughts.
If they’re triggered by someone’s choice of immodest clothing, or modest clothing, again, asking why is important.
That way, if the reason for these thoughts is superficial (plain old judgement just because they’re different) then there’s a way to work on it.
If it’s something else (e.g.
trauma-related) it’s a good idea to look for ways to look for help and try to help themselves fix it.
Number 2: Practice empathy.
Imagining the “why” behind the actions of those judged might end up stopping judgemental thoughts right in their tracks.
Why did someone yell at an old woman?
On the outside it may look like they’re just being a jerk, but they may actually be trying to communicate with someone hard of hearing.
Empathy is a fantastic tool in the toolbelt of someone who is trying to become less judgy.
It will make them question why someone is acting a certain way, which will make them consider the other options someone may have had and lead to the realization of, “well, what would I have done in that situation?”
Number 1: Develop self-awareness with your thoughts.
The best tip is reflecting on the thoughts that are judgemental and using them to become self-aware.
The perfect example is, “Why do I constantly judge women?
Is it because I’m afraid of them?
Is it because I feel superior?”
Once the idea is given, then the person trying to fight judgemental thoughts can work on what the issue is within themselves and be better!
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