• From trying to poison someone with money to committing a crime in front of a police
officer, the Planet Dolan crew re-enact some of the best true stories from our subreddit
about the dumbest things we’ve experienced. I’m Hellbent and today I’ll be your narrator.
Number 10 was submitted by Daeloy MKyleM
The dumbest thing MKyleM ever experienced was in his math class. In his school, students
were provided with laptops, which they use to complete their assignments. One time, when
he had to solve a system of equations, MKyleM had to divide zero by seventeen. For some
reason, he completely blanked on all of his math knowledge and couldn’t find the answer,
so he used his calculator. He typed what the calculator said the answer was into the blank,
which was 0.000067831272944. But his laptop told him the answer was wrong. Confused, MKyleM
asked his teacher for help. When they got to the step where he had to divide zero and
seventeen, the teacher said, “And zero divided by
seventeen is…?” MKyleM replied, “0.000067831272944?” His teacher gave him the biggest look of disappointment
he had ever seen. Holding back the urge to scream in his face, his teacher said, “No…
zero divided by ANY number is zero.” “Oh,” was all MKyleM could say. Mortified, he walked
back to his seat.
Number 9 was submitted by Marti707 Emojie
One night, Emojie was driving down the street with her friend. When she came to a stoplight,
Emojie saw a police car pull up behind her. Thinking nothing of it, since she had been
driving lawfully, Emojie waited for the light to change. As soon as it turned green, the
police car pulled her over. A cop walked over and flashed his light at her and her friend.
He asked, “Who’s Jessie?” Emojie and her friend didn’t know what the cop was
talking about. When she told the cop that she didn’t know who Jessie was, the cop
asked, “Well, whose car are you driving?” Emojie said the car was hers. Just then, the
cop’s partner called him to the back of the car. The cop’s partner told him, “I
told you that’s the wrong number” as he gestured toward the license plate. The two
cops hopped back in their car and drove away.
Number 8 was submitted by PastelTownz Dean the Time Wanderer
Dean was in fifth grade when he was the victim of something dumb. In his science class, he
had to submit a paper. Their teacher was very strict, so when Dean couldn’t find his paper
to turn in, she got mad at him. However, she told him to turn it in the next day for some
credit. When the next day arrived, Dean gave her his paper and walked away. He glanced
back at the teacher, who had a clueless expression on her face. It was like she didn’t know
what to do with his paper. So, she went to the nearest garbage can and threw it away.
Shocked, Dean continued walking. The day after, his teacher went up to him and said that he
didn’t give her his paper. Dean was pissed and told her that he gave it to her the previous
day. She accused him of lying and ended up giving him detention.
Number 7 was submitted by ConfusedCanine Ursa
At school one day, Ursa was walking down the stairs to get lunch when she heard two students
having a heated argument. It was a boy and a girl, and they were talking about food.
They were in front of the exit door, so she had to stick around and listen to their food
argument. More specifically, their food argument was about the cruelty present in the food
industry. According to the girl, the cruelest was the production of honey. The girl kept
screaming, “It’s cruel because it takes so many bees to make it!” Ursa was confused,
until the girl continued by saying, “Grinding up all those bees just so we can have one
jar of honey! It’s outlandishly cruel!” At that point, the boy tried to calm her down
and explain to her how honey was actually made, but she didn’t listen. Sick of them
blocking the exit door, Ursa spoke up and told her that bees made the honey, and that
honey was not made from bees. The girl just stared at her while the boy pulled her away.
While eating lunch, Ursa and her friends laughed about it.
Number 6 was submitted by Mote-of-Lobross Cidius
Cidius worked at a call center for five years where he would dispatch technicians to fix
peoples’ computers. Basically, he was the go-between for the customers and the technicians,
so he had to talk to people on both sides. A few weeks after he started, an obnoxious
guy began working at the call center. Aside from the guy being an overall juvenile fuck-off,
he would get buddy-buddy with the technicians on the phone, spending hours bullshitting
with them about non-work-related stuff when several calls were holding. One day, when
Cid was on the phone with a customer, he began to hear several thunderous belches. They were
so loud that even the customer heard them and even accused Cid of doing it. It turned
out that the obnoxious guy was having a belching contest with a technician over the phone.
Several other customers who had called in at that time also heard the belches. The guy
ended up getting fired.
Number 5 was submitted by TotemDragon965 Grgak
When he was in fifth grade, Grgak witnessed something very dumb. There was a bully who,
for no reason at all, got up from his desk and smashed the glass fire extinguisher case.
His hand bled, but that didn’t stop him from beating his head against the solid concrete
wall seven times. But that wasn’t the dumb part. The dumb part came when the bully turned
to the teacher – who had been watching the entire time -- and blamed Grgak and his friends
for beating him up! With a straight face, the teacher looked at him and said, “Principal’s
office. Now. Get your sanity checked while you’re at it.”
Number 4 was submitted by AGrimFate Legna
In high school one day, Legna and his classmates learned about nickel poisoning. So, at lunch,
Legna’s classmates started to throw nickels, dimes, and quarters into his food. He fished
the coins out of his buttered noodles, pie, and milk. After washing off the coins, he
bought more food with them. His classmates tossed ten dollars into his two-dollar plate
of food that day. They kept trying to poison him with nickels for the rest of the year.
Instead of getting poisoned, Legna got over 100 dollars.
Number 3 was submitted by s0miCS Spinalpalm
When Spinalpalm was younger, he was hanging out with a group of friends one day. They
wanted to use a bike ramp but didn’t have one. So, they had the so-not-dumb idea of
making one out of a sheet of wood and concrete blocks. Spinalpalm watched as a couple of
his friends built the bike ramp on the street. When it was finished, his friends proceeded
to jump their bikes. They didn’t take into account that if they’re five or six feet
in the air, it’ll hurt once they land on the asphalt. Both of his friends ended up
eating asphalt, with one of them breaking his arm and losing a tooth. Spinalpalm watched
his other friend fly straight into a clothesline, severely bruising his neck. Despite the injuries,
his friends were fine, and now they just laugh about it.
Number 2 was submitted by MadeforPlanetDolan Nixxiom
The dumbest thing Nixxiom ever saw was when he was at a 7-11 with one of his friends.
His friend wanted to buy a candy bar, so he took it up to the register. The lady told
him it would be one dollar and eighteen cents. Nixxiom’s friend pulled out two one dollar
bills. He was about to hand them to the lady when he stopped himself and put the dollar
bills back in his wallet. Nixxiom watched as his friend took out a five dollar bill
and said, “This should be just enough.” He handed the bill to the lady, who stared
at him in confusion. Nixxiom wasn’t sure what made his friend think a little candy
bar would cost five dollars.
Number 1 was submitted by ToxicDollhouse Doopie
Doopie was at the park having lunch with one of her friends, who happened to be a police
officer. While they sat on a bench and talked, an old guy walked up to a tree next to them.
He then whipped it out and began peeing on the tree. Doopie’s friend, who was still
in her police uniform, just looked at the old guy, who looked back at her. Needless
to say, the old guy was arrested by Doopie’s friend for public indecency.
Huge thanks for the folks over on our Planet Dolan subreddit for submitting their stories.
We have another question for you: “What was the dumbest response to a question you
have ever heard?” Let us know in the reddit page linked below and you might be featured
in a future countdown. this video was made possible by our fans over
on patreon. Thanks for your support, guys! Thanks for watching and I'll see you next
time