- Family time always sounds like a good idea to me
until you realize that just because you're family,
it doesn't mean that you're gonna agree on everything.
Part of growing up, is actually forming your own opinions,
whether that's the way that you dress,
sexuality, gender, or politics, and that's okay.
But understanding how to navigate situations with people
that you grew up with and that you love,
can be somewhat difficult and or challenging.
- I think specifically when you think of Latino families,
there's always a couple of family members
who are very conservative in their
views of how you present yourself to the world,
or the lifestyle that you choose.
And they're always trying to make their opinions be heard.
- I do come from a conservative family,
but they're only conservative like, with certain things.
- I'm Puerto Rican and Salvy.
My immediate family is super liberal.
However, we all have those tios, tias, and primos
who are a little bit more on the right leaning side.
- My father is very conservative, very religious.
- I grew up evangelist.
I was deeply rooted in church.
- I think he has mainly a problem with me liking boys.
- My mom was very conservative about my sexuality.
Her belief is a woman supposed to be with a man,
not with another woman.
- If someone in my family voted for Trump,
I want to know why.
I don't try to be combative,
I want to hear where someone else is coming from.
- I respect my conservative,
more conservative family members because I know that
they came from either a different time or a different place.
And they weren't exposed, or didn't have the opportunity
to be exposed to as much open mindedness.
- My dad's first cousins, they are very vibrant
and full of life, and those Puerto Ricans who love Trump.
They feel like because they're commonwealth of America,
which is also very questionable,
they have this pathway to the states
that other people in our community don't.
I feel like it's a very elitist viewpoint.
- I went into high school thinking that I was straight.
And my goal for the first day of school
was to get a girlfriend.
I wanted to not disappoint my mom and my grandma.
- When I came out, it was very rough.
She thought this was going to be a phase,
and now she knows that is not a phase, that this is me.
- So then, first year of college,
I'd gone out the night before, and I ended up making out
with my girlfriends boyfriend.
And people were taking photos with my cameras,
and the next morning I wake up
and my mom has my camera in her hand.
And she's like, "What is this?"
She throws herself on the floor, and she's like,
(speaking foreign language)
- I came out to my father over the phone,
he basically freaked out.
He started reading the Bible.
- I sat down one day and I was like, "Why is she so angry?"
I'm pretty sure that when she was younger,
she thought about okay I'm gonna have my daughter.
I'm gonna dress her up like me.
I understand that she had dreams for me,
but I also have dreams for myself.
- His point of view hasn't changed that much.
We just don't talk about it anymore because you know,
I'm older, I don't need his permission for anything,
so he just sort of stays quiet
- When I see them you know, we always have like
really kind of like small talk, fun banter,
we don't really get into the politics of things.
- When I do accept and go to a family function with him,
I put Britney Spears on and I'm just me,
because it is what it is.
He's the only one who doesn't accept it, so.
- I was like, if you don't accept me.
It's fine.
You don't have to be in my life.
- I feel like I was imprisoning myself.
I was battling trying to be accepted.
I was battling for my mom to view life the way I view life.
It's okay to agree to disagree.
- I've been so blessed and so fortunate
to have a mother that just loved me unconditionally.
- If you're going back home to seeing
your conservative family, my advice is, be you, girl.
If they ain't paying your rent,
they have no opinion in your life.
- Take care of yourself first.
You know, if you want to just talk about safe topics,
that's totally fine, if you want to get into the real talk,
that's totally fine as well.
- I think the only way to really
deal with these kinds of family members
is by being yourself, showing them that
there are other ways of being.
- Stand up for what you believe in,
and protect your heart at all costs.
It's the only thing that you have.
- And I know that that is challenging
because not all environments are safe.
- You got to stop being (foreign language)
and just mind your own business.
As long as we just respect each other.
- Take it slow.
It's a process, we're all evolving,
- You only have one family, and so learning
how to love one another and understand each other,
and then celebrate each other,
should always be what we aspire to.
Don't be stubborn or closed off.
Be open to understanding each other.
You don't always have to agree,
and you don't have to try to convince anybody.
You can actually agree to disagree,
and you can always love your family from afar.
But please do make sure that you take care of your heart
and your spirit first.
Because we need you.
(speaks foreign language)
(gentle calming music)