Piles of candy, hyper kids, candy apples stuck in braces,
it's like Christmas for dentists,
except it's Prove Me Wrong, Halloween edition.
[music playing]
Halloween sucks.
Prove me wrong. Taking out--
But there's candy.
RONNY CHIENG: Dude, it's America.
There's candy every day.
Will you give me free candy?
Stop trying to get free shit from people.
Pay your way once in your life, guys.
- And the haunted houses. - Yeah.
What do you have to say about the haunted houses?
- Right. - Those are fun.
A little, like, nervous system reset.
And I can't do that on, you know, Valentine's Day.
That's not fun.
That's not the vibe.
Yeah, I don't like holidays where
I sometimes shit my pants.
That sounds personal.
What is the history of Halloween?
Satan's party before Christ comes to wipe him out.
That's all I know.
Wait.
So we end the year with Jesus because we
summon Satan during Halloween?
People liking candy.
You-- you think that's how this started?
Yeah.
I guess not knowing your traditions
is also an American tradition.
Every other holiday is scarier than Halloween.
Prove me wrong.
Easter-- what's scary about Easter?
Chocolate-- RONNY CHIENG: No.
--bunnies.
Easter, there's a giant bunny that shits chocolate
that we pick up and eat.
I think Chinese New Year is less scary than Halloween.
We're talking about there's drag--
there's like, lion dancers.
People are letting off fireworks and crackers.
I mean, you just have to keep your head on swivel
and just keep lighting fireworks.
OK, look at these other American holidays, OK?
Thanksgiving, genocide.
4th of July, bombs.
Christmas, some old guy breaks into your home and leaves shit
and eats cookies.
Flag Day.
Halloween is definitely scarier than Flag Day.
So you're telling me you go down to the deep South,
and you got a bunch of guys waving American flags at you--
you're not going to be a little bit scared?
[laughs]
I think Mother's Day is less scary than Halloween.
Well, it depends on the mother.
I have a great mother.
Do you wish that he was married?
Yes.
You still like Mother's Day?
Valentine's Day isn't that scary.
Valentine's Day, you have to put yourself out there
with a valentines to tell someone
that you like them with the chance
that they might not like you back.
That is way scarier than a bunch
of kids running around dressed up as the princess
from Frozen.
OK, on Valentine's Day--
It's New York.
--if you get rejected, you know, you move on.
But if you reject kids from giving them candy on Halloween
night, then they might stay at your house for, like, hours,
and then egg your house.
Egg your house.
That's what I do when someone rejects
me on Valentine's Day as well.
[laughter]
Scary costumes are better than sexy costumes.
Prove me wrong.
Ew.
First of all, scary costumes, way warmer than sexy costumes.
It's not too cold. It's fall.
It's not winter.
It's fall.
OK, for the rest of us nonmodels,
we get cold when we're not wearing clothes.
There's a price for fashion.
Yes, exactly.
You get to be, like, honestly, just kind of hot--
- Period. - --for a night.
Like, dress up as, like, a hot kitty
cat or, like, a hot bunny.
And no one gives a shit.
Yeah, but this is New York City.
You can dress up as a hot kitty cat all the time,
and no one will give a shit.
WOMAN: Yeah, but what about, like, Minnesota?
If you live in Minnesota, you dress up like a sexy cat--
you're going to freeze to death.
Hoes don't get cold.
[laughter]
Hoes don't get cold, OK?
RONNY CHIENG: So do you think that sexy costumes are
better than scary costumes?
Yeah, it makes everybody happy.
[laughs] Love is in the air.
Sexy costumes will get you laid, so--
You know what?
I think you just won the argument right there.
[laughter]
I think this topic is over.
I guess you should take the desk.
[music playing]
[cheering]