-Welcome, welcome, welcome to
"The Tonight Show."
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for tuning in.
[ Cheering and applause ]
Well, guys, it seems like
there's so much going on right now.
The Justice for J6 rally is happening
in Washington, D.C. tomorrow.
Lil Nas X released his debut album.
[ Cheering and applause ]
Everyone's still talking about Nicki Minaj's
vaccine comments. [ Laughter ]
And Samuel Adams is releasing a beer
that's illegal in 15 states
-Whoo! -because it contains
28% alcohol.
[ Cheering and applause ]
There's a lot to go over,
so let's just jump in and cover it all at once.
It's time for a "News Smash."
Here we go.
[ Cheering and applause ] ♪♪
First up, the Justice for J6 rally tomorrow.
Right wing protesters will flock to Washington
to protest how the January 6th rioters are being treated.
Some people are worried things could get out of hand,
like last time.
Speaking of things getting out of hand...
Nicki Minaj. [ Laughter ]
It all started when she skipped the Met Gala
because she's unvaccinated.
She tweeted that she's on the fence about the vaccine
because it supposedly gave her cousin's friend
swollen testicles.
[ Laughter ] Yeah.
[ Fresh laughter ]
Speaking of things blowing up...
[ Laughter ] Lil Nas X
is really having a moment.
[ Cheering and applause ] His debut album
just dropped and it is great.
It starts with the hit song "Montero,"
followed by a new song, called "Dead Right Now."
And, if you want to be dead right now, why not try
Sam Adams' new beer
[ Laughter and applause ] that's 28% alcohol.
It's illegal in 15 states.
I mean, drink one glass of this stuff and you're gone.
You might even start thinking it's a good idea to attend the
Justice for J6 rally. [ Laughter and applause ]
President Trump says the rally is a "setup"
and, now, a lot of people are on edge.
Regardless of what happens,
there's no doubt the whole thing is
Nuts. [ Laughter ]
There's a lot of misinformation out there,
but experts say the vaccine is safe.
You know what's not safe?
Sam Adams' new beer. One sip,
[ Laughter ] you'll be upside-down, naked,
and singing at the top of your lungs, kind of like
Lil Nas X. He's
[ Cheering and applause ] everywhere right now.
He even managed to make his way to the Met Gala,
which basically is just a
Big ball. In conclusion... [ Laughter ]
Just relax.
Love the tracks.
Check the facts.
[ Slurred ] You're my best friend. You know that?
[ Cheering and applause ]
This has been a "News Smash."
♪♪
That's right!
As I just mentioned,
Washington is stepping up security
ahead of the Justice for J6,
which is a rally happening tomorrow
in support of the January 6th Capitol rioters.
When he heard about it, Mike Pence
locked himself in his basement and swallowed the key.
[ Laughter ] Don't worry. The Capitol is ready.
Along with fencing, they've equipped the main entrance
with a ring doorbell.
[ Laughter ]
Don't worry. -Yeah.
-They got the fencing around the whole thing,
but they also installed a ring doorbell, so.
-"Bing bong!" [ Laughter ]
-Yeah, people are going to the J6 rally
to support everyone who got arrested in January.
They're already making signs.
For instance, this one says...
[ Laughter and applause ]
This next one says...
[ Laughter and applause ] That's a deal for pelts.
And, finally, this one says...
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Cheering ] -Wow!
-Keep an eye out for those signs tomorrow.
Hey, I want to say congrats to our friend Lil Nas X,
who just released his long-awaited
debut album, "Montero," as I said earlier.
[ Cheering, whistling, and applause ]
Yeah.
When he saw the album cover, Mike Pence
locked himself in his basement and swallowed the key.
[ Laughter ]
-[ Pop ]
-Some business news --
-"Mother." -Chick-Fil-A just announced
that the founder's grandson Andrew Cathy
will be the chain's third CEO,
succeeding his father and his grandfather.
Yep. Here he is.
[ Laughter ] [ Clears throat ]
By the look of things, he's ready to hatch
a new idea or two.
[ Laughter and applause ] [ Rimshot ]
When he visits the company's farms,
all the chickens instinctively sit on his head
to keep it warm. -Really?!
[ Laughter ] Really?!
Finally, I read that, right now, there's a nationwide shortage
of Lunchables.
-What?! [ Audience awws ]
-That's because single dads
also eat them as Dinnerables.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Right now, there's an eight-year-old student in Queens like --
[ New York accent ] Yo, I got a backpack full
of Lunchables, priced to move! [ Laughter and applause ]
We got a great show. Give it up
for The Roots, everybody! [ Cheering and applause ]
-♪ Unh, it got something to do with, unh, yeah ♪
♪ Me and the band is handling showbiz ♪
♪ What love got to do with this? ♪
[Indistinct] ♪♪
♪ Sing it with me one time, you know what love is ♪
♪ Sing it with me one time, you know what ♪
[Indistinct] ♪♪
♪♪
[ Cheering and applause ] -What a show we have
for you tonight! -Come on!
-She stars in and executive produces
the Apple TV+ series "The Morning Show,"
which returns for Season 2 today!
Jennifer Aniston is joining us!
[ Boisterous cheering and applause ] [ Drumming ]
Come on!
Plus, she stars in the new film "Dear Evan Hansen,"
which is in theaters next Friday.
Amandla Stenberg is heah! -Oh!
[ Cheering and applause ]
And, it is our final night of Broadway Week.
Here at "The Tonight Show," we've had amazing performances
from all the biggest shows, all week long
here in the studio.
We have another one tonight.
This musical will celebrate its 18th anniversary
on Broadway this October.
We have a performance from "Wicked,"
ladies and gentlemen.
[ Cheering and applause ]
Then, later in the show, we have an all-new "Thank You Notes"...
-Oh! -...so, be sure to stay tuned for that.
[ Cheering and applause ] Fun show.
-Guys, on Sunday night, the Baltimore Ravens
face off against the Kansas City Chiefs.
Everyone's talking about this.
Now, as you know, at the end of every season,
they give out awards, like Most Valuable Player.
But they also give out awards at the beginning of the season.
I'll show you what I mean. It's time for
"Tonight Show Superlatives."
[ Cheering and applause ]
-♪ "Tonight Show" ♪
♪ Superlatives ♪
-Our first player is...
...from the Ravens.
He was voted...
[ Laughter and applause ]
"I'm 21."
Next up from the Ravens is...
He was voted...
[ Laughter and applause ]
Next one from the Chiefs is...
He was voted...
[ Laughter and applause ]
Next up from the Chiefs is...
He was voted...
[ Laughter and applause ]
"Gehrig Dieter. Nice to meet you."
[ Laughter ]
From the Ravens --
[ Laughter ]
From the Ravens is...
He was voted...
[ Laughter and applause ]
Next up from the Ravens is...
He was voted...
[ Laughter and applause ] -Wow!
[ Chittering ]
[ Laughter ]
-Next up from the Ravens is...
He was voted...
[ Laughter and applause ]
"Tomorrow?"
Next up from the Chiefs is...
He was voted...
[ Laughter and applause ]
And, finally, we have the quarterback of the Chiefs...
[ Cheering and applause ]
He was voted...
There you go, everybody. Those are your
[ Cheering and applause ] NFL "Superlatives."