'It's serious, they're going to launch an all out attack.'
Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World.
‘Where are the girls, where is everybody?’
Reviewing the films of Godzilla director Ishiro Honda is always a balancing act for us
because while they are occasionally ridiculous,
particularly when helped by the English language dub.
‘When that guy had hold of my throat, it felt very hot’
They are seldom less than fun and Atragon, requested by one of our Patreon Shadows is no different.
‘Oh! A monster.’
A photo shoot is disturbed by strange figures from the sea,
attracting media interest.
‘Reporter. True story magazine.’
Here’s the rule: if it has ‘true’ in the name, it’s all bollocks.
Descriptions of the strange man are vague.
‘According to witnesses he was very steamy’
My, my.
But the photographers are more interested in the woman accompanying the investigation.
‘Hey look there – she’s the kind of model we’re looking for’
There’s a fine line between hiring a new model and stalking.
‘See if she’ll undress.’
Which they vault across.
‘We gotta catch her firsr’
‘Then we kidnap her and take some pictures.' 'I gotcha.’
But the obsessive perverts turn out to be a good thing as Makoto, and her boss, former admiral Kusumi are kidnapped.#
‘I’m an agent of the Mu Empire, 23’
I know look older but it’s a stressful job.
Mu Empire?
‘The Mu Empire is a legendary country that vanished 10,000 years ago’
‘Right Admiral, I’m glad you know.’
It’s a big time saver.
Four against One; they should be able to take him, but…
‘I have special energy so you can’t hurt me’
That lasts about 60 seconds.
‘Even if I’m killed another agent will come and get you.’
I’m guessing twenty four.
‘A good guess, but you’re completely wrong.’
Naturally, not everyone is familiar with the Mu Empire, but fortunately they send along a brief travelogue.
‘This film will prove our existence to you.’
to be watched by the high command,
'never the less, our ancestors managed to surivive.'
Tch who let the chick in.
Showing the wonders of Mu.
‘Isn’t that the A403’
Just off the M48 between Bristol and the Severn estuary.
Boy is that a British joke.
Actually the A403 is a submarine last seen during the war in the hands of presumed dead Captain, Jinguji,
now used by the Mu to blow up ships,
while they wreak offscreen havoc elsewhere,
by creating earthquakes.
What can humanity do?
‘Maybe we should use a Hydrogen bomb’
There’s always one.
But now, news reaches the admiral.
‘Hello, Kasumi’
Gesundheit.
A man has been captured, believed to be a Mu agent,
'But he's not the man called Agent 23.'
but not who they are expecting.
‘Agent 23 was thinner than this man’
Wow, kick a man when he’s down.
Actually, he’s a soldier of Jinguji, not as dead as advertised
and a party sets out to find him, accompanied by...
‘Hello, I’m a reporter’
How’d I get in? Who knows?
The Mu are also seeking Jinguji.
This is agent 23, remember me?’
I was the thin one.
Meanwhile in Mu,
'Security, what's happened?'
Turns out it’s not them creating the earthquakes it’s their god Manda,
who’s a little indiscriminate.
‘We’re trying our best to carry out your wishes and regain your former empire on earth for your glory’
So if you could just cut us some slack.
Back with the expedition.
‘Right, here we are’
Are you sure?
Jinguji turns out to be a sort of Japanese Captain Nemo who has isolated himself from humanity
and developed the world’s greatest submarine.
I mean, seriously.
One small difference, Nemo was anti-war while Jinguji...
‘Don’t forget, my command did not surrender.’
Is still fighting the war, with new technology.
‘Tomorrow we’ll have a demonstration of the freezer cannon’
‘Freezer cannon?’
‘To be precise about it, it freezes everything it hits.’
Thanks for your precision.
This attitude makes the film potentially interesting
and some of the dialogue was probably a lot more meaningful to a Japanese audience before the matter of fact dub.
‘You’re just a ghost wearing rusty armour’
'A ghost?!'
But there’s more to worry about.
‘Come along with me, to the Mu Empire’
I can’t believe the weirdo with no reason to be here is the spy.
The sub is blown up.
‘Help! Help!’
Makoto and pervy photographer Susumu who has some how become the hero,
are taken to Mu and given a cell with a view.
Manda is pretty awesome.
Now the Mu attack the surface world,
like really attack it.
Back at Jinguji’s base.
‘There’s one thing that I still can’t quite understand’
This Freezer cannon, I just can’t picture it.
The flying sub is, bizarrely unharmed by being blown up and Jinguji is now ready to use it for good.
Their arrival at the Mu city coincides with the daring escape of Susumu and Makoto who have kidnapped the Empress.
Easy. I don’t know why no one else thought of this.
The sub does battle with Manda, finally resorting to the Freezer cannon.
'Fire.'
Oh it freezes things! I get it.
Although, weirdly, not the water.
The sub crashes into the Mu power plant,
somehow not letting in a single drop of water.
Mu soldiers are frozen,
city destroyed,
humanity saved.
Now even within the entertaining nonsense bracket it occupies, I don’t think Atragon is Honda’s best.
I really wish it focussed more on Captain Jinguji whose plotline I think is interesting.
‘The time has come to be proud again of Japan’s navy.’
But between the hilarious dubbing.‘
I think this is something to worry about, don’t you?’
and Honda’s undoubted skill, this is a fun film.
‘I have nothing more to say.’
'What you trying to do, work yourself to death.'
Thanks for watching. If you’d like to request a film for us to review then Join us on Patreon as a shadow.
What’s the funniest piece of dubbing or subtitling you’ve seen? Let us know in the comments below.