Hi there. Today we have a very exciting but important lesson on these things
called first impressions. Now, how good are you at determining people's
personality? Can you know within three seconds if you're gonna like someone or
not? According to research, I don't know who did the research, but when I was
researching this, they said that people can determine if you're going to like
someone or not like someone within three seconds of meeting them. So much
pressure, but I'm here to help you. So how to make good first impressions? It's
hard, and remember you cannot please everyone. So if you meet people and they
don't like you, that's okay. And if you meet people and you don't like them, hey,
that's your choice. So we have to be careful with our first impressions. First
of all, let's go through some expressions or vocabulary that you're
going to hear people saying. You might hear someone say, "Oh yeah, we really hit
it off." What are you hitting? Why are you hitting people? Okay, to really hit it off
with someone means you got along really well. Like, oh, the first time you meet
them, you're like, "Hey, oh, I like this band."
"Oh, I don't like this band." "No, but I like
this band." "Oh yeah, me too." "Okay, yeah." So you have maybe a lot of things in
common with the person, or I don't know, you hate the same things, like you two.
So that's a good thing. Hitting it off with someone is really good. Good vibes. I
see this all the time now in children's t-shirts, when I go to Old Navy. Good
vibes, man. And this is kind of a really old expression, but if someone, she gave
me some good vibes, whew, it means you got a good impression from the person. The
person was probably friendly or nice to you. They didn't pull your hair or
something when they met you. So the opposite being bad vibes.
Sometimes you meet people, and I don't know, they're a little weird, but not a
cool weird, like a, hmm, a weird weird. Like, you play video games for 36 hours and
don't shower and pee in the seat, don't you? Kind of weird. Like, kind of the
smell, too, would give it away. So, good vibes, bad vibes.
Another bad way of saying this, and this is weird, "She rubbed me the wrong way."
Rub me this way, rub me that... Wrong rub. I don't know why we're rubbing people. So
don't rub people when you meet them, like, hey, you got something there, okay? "She
rubs me the wrong way" means, yeah, bad vibes, not a good situation. Maybe
the person said something that you disagree with, and you're like, ooh, yeah,
okay, I don't want to be friends with that person. Like, someone's like, hey, I
like you, too, and you're like, okay, that person rubbed me the wrong way. Yeah, okay.
Another expression, "to warm up to someone". So, this is kind of when you
first meet the person, you're like, I don't know. They weren't giving bad vibes, and it
wasn't good. It was just kind of like, whatever. But then maybe you meet the
person again. You're like, okay, well, yeah.
And then maybe the next time, and maybe it
takes five times. After that, you're like,
okay, yeah, you know what? I don't mind that
person. They're okay. I like them. Yeah. "I didn't like him at first", so the first
impression, but he's warmed up to me. Okay, he's rubbing you the right way now.
He's warming you up. It means that gradually, you got to like the person.
I've said this before. Please, when you meet people making your first impression,
don't be negative. Okay? When you meet someone for
the first time, especially in a work environment,
let's say you have a big presentation or sales
pitch to do, don't say to people, hey, my name's
Ronnie. I don't speak English. Why are you here?
Remember, you can say things like, English is my
second, or third, or fourth language, or English
is not my mother tongue, but please don't be
negative. Don't put yourself down. I don't speak
English. Well, you just did. So, think of other
expressions you can use to give the person a
really good impression of you. Like, oh, hey,
this isn't the person's first language. Whoa,
hey, that means they know more than one language.
Cool. Here's another expression. It's not what you know-okay?-it's how you say it.
What does that mean? So, you might have all the
knowledge in the world, which is impossible,
but you might know a lot about something. But when you're communicating with people,
when you're delivering your message to people, you might do it in a very arrogant,
which means you think you're better than everyone
else way. So, you're like, okay, like, you guys,
I know everything about this, so, like, I'll just
tell you everything, because you guys don't know
anything. When you're sharing knowledge, especially
in a work environment, you have to let the people
know that you know, but you're willing to share
in a friendly, direct way. You can't be arrogant,
oh, I know everything, you guys don't know anything. Not a good first impression. You
don't want to come across as being stupid, like
saying, I don't speak English. Okay? So, you might
know how to do it, but it's how you react to
people that are going to give you a good first
or last impression. Oh my god. Begin to do some ABCs. Yeah. All right, so next,
let's look at the ABCs of first impressions. Trying to make it easy.
Probably the most important is your appearance.
Okay? I'm not saying you have to go out and buy
$1,000 shirts or expensive jewelry, but try not to have stains on your shirt.
Please take a shower. Smell good, but not too
good. Okay? Don't douse yourself in cologne or
perfume, because a lot of people are scent-sensitive
now. A shower's going to be good. Use some soap,
wash all the bits, don't forget to wash your
feet. Yeah? How you look, how you smell,
important. Your clothes, your hair, do your hair, brush it, comb it, wash it. Makeup.
If you're going to wear makeup, don't wear too much. I don't know what it is now,
but I've seen the trend of fake eyelashes, and sometimes I'm like,
what is that person... What... What is on their eye? Is that a caterpillar? No. Oh,
they're fake eyelashes. Okay, so you're not
going out to a nightclub. You're just... Well,
maybe you are, and that's fine, but if you're
doing a work thing, I don't know, maybe save
the fake eyelashes for the nighttime. Okay? It's
up to you, though. Okay. I'm not trying to tell
you what to do with your lashes, because mine
are blue, so that's cool. But conservative on the
makeup, we would say, or don't wear any, whatever.
Take a shower. Okay? Because the first thing that
people notice about you is your appearance. Unfortunately, people look you up and down,
they look at your shoes, they look at your
clothes, and they will judge. Oh, they will judge.
Oh my god, did Ronnie get a top in Giant Tiger?
Oh, I would never go there. Okay? So, make it very,
very clear to the person that you shower and
you do laundry. Okay? And that's it. We're good.
Behavior. Actions. This is important. It's not how you treat other people, but it's...
that you're talking to, but the other people
around you. So, how you treat others. If I say
this, warm up to someone. Remember I told you
that in the beginning? If I say, you know what,
I really didn't like him at first, but...
Uh-oh. Hold on. I should say I warmed up to him.
Made a mistake there. Sorry about that. So, I didn't like him at first, but you know,
I warmed up to him. When you're going to a conference or when you're doing
a pitch for work, it's very important that you treat everyone, no matter their job,
with equal respect and politeness. You don't want
to be rude to the person that's getting you coffee.
You've seen this in movies. Like, give me a
coffee. Because people are watching you. People
are watching your behaviour. If you're in line
for a job interview and you speak to the person
at the front desk rudely, don't find out about
that. So, make sure you treat everyone with respect
and just be polite. Everyone. Okay? All the time.
Be on time. Now, I'm not good at being on time,
but for a job interview or a sales pitch or
anything that you have to do, if you have an
appointment, try to be on time. Leave an
hour early if you have to. I like to do that.
Your actions will convey how confident you
are when you meet someone. If you, you know,
walk into an office and kind of look around,
don't say hi to anyone, and sit down in a chair,
and whip out your phone, the people around you
aren't getting any confidence vibes from you.
But if you go into the same office, you're like,
"Hey, my name's Ronnie. I'm here for the job
interview. How are you?" You know? You're giving
people good energy, and you're giving people,
"Hey, you know what? I like this one. She's
confident." She might not have any idea what
she's doing, but at least she pretends to be
confident, and that's where you're... You've
got to do it. Maybe you're nervous. Okay? That's
fine. When you're nervous, you do something called
fumble. Fumble means you, like, drop things or,
like, you fall on things. Fumbling is normal,
natural, kind of cute, but try to keep those to a minimal if you can.
I know it's hard sometimes. You trip over
your own feet. I do that. But just, you know,
practice walking at home, maybe. Look at me,
I'm walking. Walk backwards, that's always fun.
Practice body language. Eye contact. I tell you
this all the time. If you want people to pay
attention to you, to like you, to think that
you're confident, two things. Eye contact. Look
at the people. And number two, the magic of the
smile. As soon as you smile at people, they know,
"Oh, hey, hey, this person's happy. Oh, I'm
happy." You can do it as a social experiment.
Walk around your town and smile at people,
and you can see people's different reactions.
We'll get into that in a different lesson. But if you smile and make eye contact,
it's going to be a very positive thing. Smile at everyone. Okay?
You have to see what the other people are
doing. Depending on what country you live in,
some people at business meetings shake hands,
some people are all in with a hug right away,
some people kiss each other, not with tongue.
Okay? Just like one on the cheek, two on the cheek.
You have to see what the other people are doing,
basically. So, if you rock into a job interview
and you start, like, kissing people, that's weird.
Make sure you just kind of shake the hands and
observe other people first. That's a good thing.
The next one, communication. This goes back to
this one, right? It's not what you know, it's how
you say it. So, if your first impression comes off
as you don't really know what you're talking
about because your confidence is low, or you
think you know everything because you're an
arrogant prick, this is not a good impression.
I don't care if it's socially or at a job
function, at a party. Just don't be arrogant with
people. It's hard because you're communicating in
another language, so practice. If you have a sales
pitch in English, it's twice as hard because
you've got to get your target audience, you've got
to get the people motivated and interested, and you
have to do it in another language. So, practice,
practice, practice. Sit outside and stare at a
tree and talk to the tree. Practice what you're
going to say. So, you have confidence and talk
loud enough. Not too loud. Don't scream at the
people. Okay? They're not deaf. Well, they might
be, but don't scream at people. Talk loud enough,
calmly enough. When I'm nervous, I talk really
fast, and it's hard for me, even now, to speak
slowly, but you can learn. You have to speak
slowly, you have to speak in a very calm manner.
And listen, okay? One thing that people do in
a job interview especially is they do something
called "overshare". So, if in a job interview they
ask you a question, answer that question. Then,
whoop, fermez la bouche. That means close your
mouth. Don't give them more information than
they ask. Why? Because maybe that information is
bad. So, also do your research. What's the company
about if it's a job interview or if you're pitching
something? Make sure you know your audience.
Keep a nice, calm pace. Or let's say you're going
for a job at a gym, okay? And the other people
at the gym are hyper and souped up on steroids,
like, "Yeah, I want to join the gym." You have to
mirror the people. If you're going to a work
environment that's calm and peaceful and relaxing,
try and do that. If you're going to some place
that's hyper and like, "Ah, nightclub", try and
mirror people, okay? Mirror others. "Mirror" means
you copy them. Why? It's a strange thing about
humans. If you and I have things in common, for
some reason I like you more, generally. I'm not
saying I, people, because I think people that are
different than me are cool. But generally, people,
if you can find something in common with them
or they remind me of me when I was younger,
you've got a connection with this person, you've
got an in. So, if you can mirror the other person
with their gestures, with their voice, with their
energy level, humans like that. I don't know. Humans
are weird. So, the very, very first impression that
you give people, unfortunately, it is important.
If you need a second chance to make a first impression, you can just say to the person,
you know, like, "That was terrible. I'm sorry.
Can we start again? I was just a terrible day
for me when I first met you. So, let's... Let's start again." But in a job interview,
it doesn't work that way. If you're doing something for business or for work,
you get one chance. So, follow my rules.
Remember, appearance, take a shower, behavior,
don't be mean to people, and communication.
Be confident and get what you want. All right.
I'm Ronnie. I'm out of here. Please don't rub me the wrong way.