Well, thank you for being here-
It's a pleasure.
And, um, you of course, you're out,
you're promoting this film now and,
that you made with Harrison Ford.
Yeah.
Are you, are you having a good time promoting the film?
Are you, do you find ways to sort of amuse yourself?
Yeah. I mean, um, I'm having a great time.
Harrison has been entirely lovely to me.
There's, there's been one bone of contention,
which is my character's name, which is Bill Cox.
I think that that's innately funny
and he thinks that I'm, all right,
childish and immature.
He thinks you're childish and immature.
Yeah, and I've, I've been proved to be right
because during the selling of this movie
people, people inevitably asked me if
if you have to like a villain to play one,
and I know that my answer will always involve
involve the words I like Cox.
Right, right right.
Yeah I like Cox, he's got balls.
(audience and Conan laugh)
So uh, yeah, no, it's been, it's been a disaster.
And Harrison doesn't approve
of that kind of thing, yeah.
He looks at me with sort of despair,
I think he um, his best friend,
who is his partner in the, in the film,
his character's name is, is Harry.
So when he introduces us, he goes, Harry, Cox.
And I just, I just fall around like a fish out of water.
(Conan laughs)
He just despises you now, yeah.
What things does Harrison Ford
talk about then in these interviews?
What does, what does he-
Well, he's playing a kind of,
you know, security guy,
so he talks about how it's weird that he is,
you know, his character is such a techno wizard and-
[Conan] His character's like a computer expert, yeah.
Right, and how he's so anti gadgets.
And I, you know, I follow him into interviews
and the truth is that he's a pilot,
and a plane is a sort of gadget, isn't it?
[Conan] Right, right, okay.
And he's got five of them,
and he's got, you know, a helicopter,
and frankly it's the last thing you want to hear
from your pilot is, you know,
you might, you might want to buckle up
because I'm not too good with gadgets.
(Conan and audience laugh)
I don't really know how these things work.
Yeah. He's been doing that carpenter,
I'm a man of my hands thing.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, it's somewhat true I think.
Now how was the Firewall premiere?
Did you have a good time?
Did you enjoy the premiere?
Those are usually kind of fun.
Aren't they?
Yes, it was brilliant.
My wife was there and the, the, again,
there was, there was a problem
which was Jennifer's cousins were there, who were-
I met, they're backstage, they're from Brooklyn.
They're backstage, they're Sean and Glenn Connolly
and they're two really grown up Brooklyn boys.
And what they elected to do was
spend the whole premier party
standing behind Harrison Ford with a,
with a Chewbacca Pez Dispenser.
Going (rolls tongue)
(audience and Conan laugh)
And I knew, I thought that you wouldn't believe me.
I love those guys.
So I brought it.
(audience and Conan laugh)
And they were, they stood behind Harrison going,
(rolls tongue)
Like this.
And uh, and, well, have one.
Oh, thank you very much. If you want a Pez,
you have to, you have to pull it out.
I have to pull it out, yeah.
Mm, that's good, that's terrific.
There you go.
That is an old, old candy.
(audience laughs)
Those are not fresh.
I had to confiscate this,
he got it off Ebay.
These are the original, these are original 1977.
That's right.
Oh, great, that's terrific.
That's great, all right.
That's awful.
Yeah, my urine's going to be blue tonight, yeah.
That's the special evil death flavor.
I can't stop eating them though.
Um, uh, you have, and we were, this is the first,
I saw this film a couple of days ago,
and I really enjoyed it.
You have the most intense fight scene
with Harrison Ford that I can remember.
I mean, literally it looks
like you two are beating the crap out of each other.
Yeah we were.
I really hated him
as you can tell by the whole, yeah.
Yeah, I think if he knew about this,
he would have really hit you. Yeah, he really would.
No, he didn't, no, he didn't.
He was, he was incredibly skilled
like you would imagine sort of a 20 year veteran
of stuntmen to be, you know,
he's done this for, for 20 years.
And I threw him through
an incredibly narrow window seven times,
and he couldn't get his arms out to save himself,
so within the, with incredible skill,
he, he managed to break his fall with his face.
Each one of those seven times.
I mean, I was worried about him bruising his body,
but by a million to one chance,
his face got in the way every time.
So, that was good.
Now, does he get upset about that?
Or he just, he was-
No, he was happy as Larry,
got up re, you won't believe it, but it's true,
he rebuilt the window
through which I had thrown him.
Every time?
Every time, loved it,
came out of his shell on fight day.
Right, right,
because he is, that's his thing,
he is a carpenter. He knows how to build things.
He really does.
And he, he, re, he rebuilt the window.
I swear to you,
I was sitting there with my coffee like that,
What are you, what are you doing?
They got people that would do this.
And he's like ah, they won't do it right.
(Conan makes zipping sounds)
And then he would charge them.
(audience laughs) Now, now you, I want to applaud,
I want to applaud you for something.
You, you stopped smoking.
You've been on the show before,
and you've been smoking
like a chimney backstage,
and you stopped recently.
Yeah I stopped a year ago.
[Conan] Good for you.
Thank you very much.
(audience cheers)
No, no, seriously I'm ashamed,
no, no, no, no.
[Conan] You're ashamed? Why?
No one likes a quitter,
come on let's be honest.
No, I'm, I'm truly shamed,
but I saw um, I saw my little,
I was standing outside
on one of those cold New York winters
like that outside the house,
and looking through the window
and saw my son looking at me with a pen.
And I went, no, I'm not going to do that so.
And I figure anyway
that smoking and hard drinking and,
and A-class drugs in fact
are probably for old people.
You think old people should do that stuff?
I absolutely think that old people should be,
I think like when you get your pension,
you should probably also get like two rocks
of crack or something like that.
(audience and Conan laugh)
Like, cause nobody's, nobody's going to know
if you're whacked out at that point,
your life's kind of boring,
and some acid would probably-
Wow, incredible,
these are great theories.
Thank you very much.
And I'm sure they'll catch on.
Write them down in case you forget.
I would, but I'm too busy eating 1977 Pez.
That's not Pez.
Oh my God, whoa!
You've just taken the most acid
I've ever seen anybody take live on camera.
(audience claps)
Wow, you weren't kidding.
We have a clip here from Firewall,
and what do we need to know about this?
You are evil and Harrison Ford is good?
That's pretty much it.
Well, let's take a look.
Listen, Willy, how can I expect Jack
to do as he's told if you don't?
I guess I made a mistake, I'm sorry.
Well, we all make mistakes Willy, just not as many as you.
Yeah, yeah, I said I was sorry.
All right.
Okay, you're sorry.
Watch them.
(woman screams)
(gun fires)
Oh god.
(woman sobbing)
You're not a good man.
(audience cheers)
Nope, my two year old loves that bit.
Firewall is in theaters now,
Paul, always really fun to talking to you,
Paul Bettany, we'll be right back.