- Really?
Penises and vaginas don't have calories in 'em.
(laughing)
I am Erica Campbell.
I'm a singer, a songwriter, a radio host, a mom,
a first lady of a church, and all around cool chick.
Why doesn't the church talk about sex?
I think that people have associated that level
of pleasure with something sinful
and I don't think that was God's design.
I think that it was one of the most beautiful things
that He created and I think in an effort to stop people
from doing it, they just didn't talk about it.
They bred a culture of young people who have had to search
other sources and talk to other people.
I'm excited and nervous about this conversation.
I've wanted this,
actually this specific topic for a long time.
I think a lot of people are wondering and have questions
and I'm gonna do the best that I can
with the knowledge that I have.
The questions, the jar.
Okay, I knew this question was coming.
Is sex before marriage a sin?
According to the word of God, yes.
The Bible says marriage is honorable
and the bed is undefiled, meaning once you're married,
you can live your life, do what you like,
as much as you like.
Some of the other things that go along with the befores
and the afters, why you chose to say yes,
why does this person deserve a piece of your body.
How do you look at your body?
Is your body a temple, is it special,
and in order to enter this temple, what is the requirement?
What do you say about yourself?
I understand.
Listen, I remember being a teenage girl, wondering.
I remember, before I got married even wondering.
I would love to imply that I waited
until I was married to have sex, but I did not.
You go into relationships with your ignorance
and with as much as you know,
as much as you gain from your friends
and nowadays, from Google.
Does sex count as exercise?
Kinda, you can burn calories, right.
But if you ate 1200 before you had sex,
then you just, you still fat.
God bless you, I love you, but you'll still be,
you know, thick in the waist.
Cute in the face, still thick in the waist though.
Does not count as exercise.
I don't think you can get the body that you're looking for,
you can't screw your body,
you can't screw your way to getting the body
that you're looking for. (laughing)
Is sex a healthy coping mechanism?
No, because whatever you're coping with,
after you have sex, it's still there.
The problem will still be there
after you get out of the bed
or wherever it is you do what you do.
I think you should deal with the issues
sometimes before you get there,
before you get to that place,
so the enjoyment, the beauty of it is fully there.
I think you cheat yourself when your soul
isn't just a little bit connected.
It's something other worldly
when your souls are connected.
Have I talked to my kids about sex?
Well, my 14-year old, absolutely,
because Christa came home
and I was asking her some questions
and she said that there were kids talking
about oral sex in the fifth grade.
The fifth grade.
Well, instead of her getting information
from her friends or trying to seek
it out through music and watching a movie,
and trying to put two and two together
on her own, I just talked to her about it.
Of course she was grossed out.
Mom, and I said if you and your little girlfriends
talk about it, y'all don't know what y'all talking about.
I know what I'm talking about.
You wanna talk to your Mama,
plus, I want you to have a wonderful relationship.
I would love to know that you married a guy
and you have a healthy sex life.
She's like, Mom!
I said, you'll be find with this when you're 20.
It's weird at 14, but guess what,
I'm gonna talk to you now so someone else doesn't get
in your head and then you get twisted.
I want you to understand your body,
understand them nasty little boys,
and understand their intentions and understand
your power and who you are and who
has a right to your temple,
'cause that's what it is.
You got a temple, girl; protect it.
Does sex in periods cause pregnancy?
Listen, wait 'til your period is over before you have sex.
(laughing)
And if you're asking this,
you probably don't wanna get pregnant
so you're probably too young and don't wanna tell your Mama.
Okay, I became a Mama just now.
Um, good question.
Is sex a necessity?
No, not for everyone.
Some people live full and complete lives
and they feel complete and fulfilled
in other areas of their lives.
I really think people put way too much weight
on sex, what it means about me, what it says about who I am,
the quality of my life because of it.
I think that there are people who
are perfectly fine without having it.
I am not one of those persons.
But there are some.
Some for faith reasons, some for different reasons,
but I think that, I don't think that it is a necessity.
Does sex in a car leave a smell?
Eww, nasty, yes.
Do you have booty juice on your car seats?
Oh my God.
Mmm mm, don't do it people.
You've all been around that friend and got in their car
and was like, girl, what was you doing?
Out of control.
Uh, it does; yes, it does leave a smell so don't do it
in your Mama's car or you Daddy's car.
(laughing)
Out of control you are.
Is sex good for your health?
Absolutely, I think so.
I just think there's got to be these chemicals
or something released in your body that just, oh,
take you to places that they often take you.
I'm not a doctor so I can't literally speak
to that as as doctor,
but I do believe that there's something quite healthy
for every relationship when you have a healthy sex life.
Is sex a decongestant?
Like will it clear your sinuses?
It ain't medicine, precious.
No.
You know, I'm not surprised by any of these questions.
There's so many people searching
and we're asking sex questions but we're really looking
for connection and value and validation and love.
And sometimes we're looking for it in the wrong places.
We're looking for it to fill spaces and places
that is work that we have to do as individuals.
I love that we are asking these questions.
I love that I, as a woman of faith who loves God,
trusts the creator, can answer these questions
or at least bring light to the fact that some
of us are actually talking about it.
Always think of 'em from a God perspective.
God is not this mean, evil urgh,
I don't want you to enjoy yourself,
'cause the scripture says, I want you to prosper and be
in good health even as your sould prospers.
So in addition to your soul in your regular life,
He wants you to be happy and fulfilled.
I know that's not a message you hear all the time,
but it's absolutely true.
I'm a living witness of it, so I wanna share that with you.
(lively music)