Paralyzed by fear, you hear that expression,
but what does it mean?
We feel overpowered often by feelings
of stress, worry, and anxiety.
These feelings can interfere
with our daily living.
In some cases, fear can stop us
in our tracks affecting our job,
relationships and goals.
Seattle psychologist Dr.
Kateland joins me now.
Hello Doctor Kate,
thanks for being here.
Hello Amidee, thank you for
having me. I appreciate it.
No, this is a great topic because I
don't think people understand how much
fear can play a factor in our lives.
But first, how does fear paralysis manifest?
Gotcha, yeah, and you mentioned
quite a few ways right as you were
introducing the topic, but you know,
fear paralysis can leave us feeling stuck.
It can leave us feeling powerless.
It can leave us in a cycle of
negative self talk for example.
Having that thought over and over.
I'm no good.
So why even try anyway?
Procrastination is often
a big piece of it as well.
Yeah, that makes sense and
I've felt that way in my life.
It can really impact. Our lives,
so in so many ways. First of all,
it stops us from reaching goals
absolutely absolutely because when we're
paralyzed by fear were less likely to,
you know, move towards our goals
were likely to feel stagnant,
and you know kind of have that
idea in our mind of well,
I'm not going to get to the goal anyway,
so why even try?
And it's often that that
underlying fear of failure that
keeps us stuck in that place
and it keeps us from moving
towards potential, right?
Absolutely, because when
we're not moving towards,
our goals were not making
progress in our life and we're
not making progress in our life.
We're again, we're stuck,
we're stagnant and we're not going
to kind of get to that place that
were truly capable of getting to.
And it wouldn't make sense that this
would also affect relationships.
All kinds of relationships.
Absolutely, because actually,
when we're feeling sort of
paralyzed by our fears,
we're probably not going to take
that step forward into a relationship
that could be in our best interest,
or we're probably not going to step out of a
relationship that's not in our best interest.
So again, it's another space where
we're just stuck and we're not
going to kind of move towards
what's going to help to enhance our
overall sense of well being within
the context of relationship. Yeah,
'cause I. Great experience when it
comes to not just reaching your goals,
but it can also damage your work life, right?
Absolutely, because when again,
when we're paralyzed by fear,
we're probably not going to take
those calculated or, you know,
appropriate risks within the context
of our work lives, right? We might.
We might be sort of stuck and
feeling afraid of how others are
going to judge us in the workplace.
So we're not going to speak up.
How about does it? Does it
impact our fear of getting sick?
Well, actually a fear of getting
sick can actually be a really common
manifestation of fear paralysis.
Because you know, we're we're afraid
that sort of the worst case scenario
is going to occur when we're paralyzed
by our fears and for many people that
that sort of manifests in the form of a.
I'm going to get sick.
I'm going to wake up tomorrow
morning with the stomach flu and
often a specific phobia can.
Arise out of that, for example,
a fear of throwing up out of the blue,
and that can really paralyze
folks and shut them down.
Mine was fear of passing out,
losing consciousness,
and it it did paralyze me. It did.
So what are some solutions
to moving beyond these fears?
Well, you know the first thing
we want to help folks do is to
manage their stress response,
because when our stress
response isn't fully managed,
fears just take over and
we can't break that cycle.
What about getting the right support?
Absolutely, that's huge.
So we really want to see
folks getting support in the
form of therapy or coaching.
And you know, it's important
to mention that there's not a
one size fits all here, right?
So that's why therapy or coaching
on an individual level to come
up with a road map for what
works for you within your
individual context is so vital.
And it's also, I think for me it
took me awhile to become aware
that I had this intense fear.
How do we get that awareness?
And we're kind of in the middle of
it. Right and well,
we can get that awareness really.
Through therapy or coaching.
And we really want to.
Kind of, you know,
dig down because the fears aren't
always as you mentioned obvious.
So therapy and coaching talking
through what's happening in
our day-to-day can really help
us make those connections and
understand what's going on.
I know that a lot of work
I've done with my therapist.
Is this re framing reframing the
ideas that you have that has
been incredible helpful to me.
Can you explain reframing to us?
Absolutely. So once we kind of
understand our fears and can kind of
put a framework around them on a level
that fits our individual context,
we can start to look at things differently.
We can start to kind of untangle the
connections that are so strongly
entrenched in our lives and we can
start to look at things differently
and that really really helps to
break the cycle of fear. Doctor
Kate, thank you so much for
taking the time to talk.
Talk to us about this.
Walk us through it.
Hopefully talk to you again.
Thank you so much, really appreciate it.