Permission and Requests - Examples - How to be Polite - ESL British English Pronunciation - Hi there students ! When we are making
requests or asking for permission
it´s very important to be polite . Now...
How do we be polite when making requests
or asking for permission ? Well ...
The most important thing is
giving the other person the opportunity to say : " NO " .
So the thing that's very important to
bear in mind is how difficult a thing
are you requesting . If it´s something easy or
if it´s something difficult . Do you want to borrow
1€ or do you want
to borrow a 1000€ ? This can also depend on the person .
OK ? Maybe you want to borrow somebody's car ?
It's not the same borrowing your brother's car as
it is borrowing the car of somebody you don't know very well .
So, how do we make it
easier for people to say: " No " . Well...
It depends on the language we use . So we can use something quite direct :
" Can I borrow your car ? " OK ?
Or we could use something very indirect : " I was wondering
if it would be possible for me to borrow your car ?" .
So maybe to your brother you say :
" Can I borrow your car ? " but to somebody you
don't know very well : " I was wondering if you could be quite as
kind as to lend me your car ? "
OK ? So notice the difference in language.
Asking your brother to lend you his car
is reasonable easy compared to the stranger or
or compared to someone you don't know very well .
So , we need to take into account
how difficult the thing you are asking for is
and who you are asking it from .
So we could say : " Can I
borrow a 100€ ? "
You could say: " Could I borrow
a 100€ ? " ... " would you
lend me a 100€ ? " ... " May I
borrow a 100€ ? "... " Might I
borrow a 100€ " ... " Is it OK if
I borrow a 100€ ? " ... " Do you think you could
lend me a 100€ " ... " Do you think you could
possibly lend me a 100€ ? " ... " Would you mind
lending me a 100€ ? " " I was wondering
if you could lend me ... ? " ... " I was wondering if you could
possibly lend me " ...
" I don´t suppose you could lend " ... " I don´t
suppose you could possibly lend me " . So notice in
each of this we are increasing steadily
in the indirectness of the question, OK ?
And the harder the question then
the more indirectly you need to
ask the question . You need to give them more
and more chance to say : " No " , obviously
as well depending on who you are asking .
As I said before, if you ask something from your best friend it
it's not so difficult... if you ask something from
a complete stranger, it´s much much much harder .
So, to your friend you'd say :
" Can I borrow your car ? " but to a complete stranger :
" I don't suppose you would possibly
be so kind as to lend me your car ? " , OK ? .
the´re different levels because the stranger
it's very possible he's going to say no , you brother it's less possible , your friend
it's less possible he's going to say no ...
And this is key to being polite
when asking for permission . The same
is valid for making requests : " Can you
do this for me ? " - " Could you do
this for me ? " . " Would you do this for me ? " .
" Do you think you could do this for me ? " " Do you think you could possibly do this for me? " .
Notice, the way it's increasing.
I don't supose you could possibly do this...
OK ? I was wondering as if you would be quite so kind
as to do this for me .
Ok? So notice de different levels ,
the increasing levels, the increasing complexity of
the language that you use , OK ?... And
this is the key. So if you're asking for
a very small favour, you can use ... do something very direct:
" Can I borrow your pen ? I just need to write this number "...
" I was wondering if you could possibly lend me some money, till Monday ". OK ?
The favour is bigger
but then again remember who your are asking it to...
OK ? So, anyway, if you enjoyed the video
I was wondering if you could possibly give me a rating :-)
Now one thing to notice: If the formality you use
in the situation is much more than
called for, it sounds sarcastic,
OK ? If you go to your brother and say : " I was
wondering if you could possibly be quite so kind as to lend me
ten cents ", this sounds like irony ,
it sounds like I'm criticizing you because I think you are going to say : " No " .
When it's a very easy thing for you to say : " Yes " .
So, it´s very important to get the appropriate level
for the request , or for
the permission , OK ? So...
" If you enjoyed the video please give me a rating ", reasonably informal,
it's not difficult for you to do it .
" You could also subscribe to my channel " mild suggestion , something easy for you
to do as well .
OK ? I´ll see you soon . Bye for now !
Permission and Requests - Examples - How to be Polite - ESL British English Pronunciation