It’s in a special box!
Are you mad!?
Hi, I’m Josh.
I’m Ollie.
And today we're taking jolly British tea time to the next level.
Guys we've done simple tea and biscuits, we've done fancy afternoon tea,
B ut today we're gonna do the essential English tea and cakes.
What I want to do is ask the question what is the ultimate cake to have with tea.
This looks great.
It looks good.
What do you want Jenny? I’m excited.
Maybe the carrot cake.
Yes, I’m so glad you said that. The best one.
Oh my gosh!
Big one Jenny. I don’t want that big a piece of cake, Josh!
Alright let's go for it.
Jenny, we might have peaked. Isn’t this the best cake you ever ate?
How’s it go with the tea?
It's a blessing.
It works very well. Very well with the tea.
I’m ready for round 2. That’s it! You keep wanting more tea.
I was enjoying myself so much... It's the perfect pairing!
Milk me!
I’d rather not.
If that's okay...
We're moving on to banana bread loaf.
I think there's some kinds of banana bread loaf
That actually you want to take a bread knife slice, put in the toaster and then put butter on.
I know that's mad.
That's crazy, you literally eat it like bread.
Well, I can tell you're not as excited about this.
Not excited is a very polite word for what I’m feeling about this now.
What are you talking about?
Firstly,
This is a cake party. You don't invite a loaf to a cake party.
This, it doesn't even qualify for the word cake! It's a loaf! It's bread!
That's good though! Isn't it nice? And it's quite cakey.
It's great. It is quite cakey.
Yeah, no that's pretty good.
Shut up! It's pretty good.
Honestly, I hate banana bread with a passion, I actually quite like that.
Another controversial offering.
Coffee cake. This one is particularly looking like, half icing, half cake.
This cake has stolen Donald trump's toupee.
Oh, no!
We need some googly eyes.
I’m going to take a little slither of this.
How is it, Jenny?
It is a bit strong for me.
Because I don't like coffee.
You don’t like coffee? At all?
Does the icing make this coffee cake great again...
I’m not sure it does.
Honestly, I think the icing is the only thing that makes that a coffee cake.
The cake itself was quite nice but I don't know if it had any coffee flavour.
I think it did!
I think it was quite strong. Did it?
Feel like this cake it's not my favourite.
I can imagine there being people who are like, I love this cake,
Because it's quite a strong quite a bitter, like...
Very very strong.
It says all of the things that some people are thinking, You know and they feel like they can't vocalize.
Can we stop?
Should we try cutting the jolly cake?
Okay! Do I go in one strong bold movement?
Are you mad?!
Firstly cut it so the camera can see.
Well, that's not good.
Oh, you're left-handed aren’t you, I forgot about that.
Are you?!
Well, I’m kind of ambidextrous.
I’m not great with either hand if I’m honest.
More carefully! Relax Ollie! Okay, not that slowly...
Oh, gosh!
So while Ollie is taking forever.
Tea, I feel like it's something that you offer me pretty much every time we come to your house.
It's kind of an essential part of British culture.
When do the cakes come out?
I feel like there's a historical thing.
Wait wait, Ollie don't use the knife for that!
We've got serving things!
Sorry, continue. Where did you find this guy?
I have no idea!
It’s the best slice I’ve ever done, it’s incredible!
Give him a plate!
Let's all just share this how about that?
No, let's all just applaud my efforts. Look at this!
That too yea!
Thank you thank you. Well done.
How'd you guys feel about red velvet?
As someone who loves bland food, I sometimes. struggle with a red velvet.
sometimes it's too rich is what I’m saying. Okay.
Well, you've gone for it. Let's give it a go.
Okay! Ready?
Wow, that's a good cake.
The icing is very cream cheesy. You know?
You could put that icing in a bagel with some smoked salmon and you wouldn't notice.
I mean you would notice I wouldn't.
This is the best bagel I’ve ever had!
You do you, Ollie, you do you.
You don’t cheers a tea!
Oh, don't you? Sorry!
No that’s fine I love it,
I live on the wild side.
I’ve got an almost unstoppable urge to just stick this fork in a cupcake and eat it like a meatball.
I kind of want to see you do that, I really don't want to do it myself.
Okay, shall I do it? I love that you guys have this channel to just give Ollie an outlet.
I haven't even bitten but I feel like I’ve already bitten off more than I can chew.
These look nice but I feel like this is the cake that you get if you just want to eat icing.
I genuinely have bitten off more than I can chew.
I’ve never seen anyone eat a cupcake like that.
Is that how you eat a meatball? Because that's pretty weird.
That's what I’m telling you man. Lizzie would not go out to dinner with me.
You guys ready for the next cake?
I don't know.
Rainbow cake, let's do it.
Rainbow cake!
This is the staple of kids parties, pride parades.
But you've got to buy special food colouring if you want to make it.
Really? Not the stuff from the supermarket.
I know this because... I have made some good cakes but I’ve made a lot of bad cakes.
This looks really good... Josh,
I'm nervous about this one.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
After our experience with rainbow cheese in Melbourne... Rainbow cheese.
It was amazing, and we ate all of it, tasted great,
And then we honestly, were 5 blocks from our hotel.
5 blocks. Not far.
And we get 2 blocks home,
And Josh is like...
I was like this is not good guys...
He's like I don't think I can make it.
Literally this is like maybe 10 minutes later. I don't know how it even got through that quickly.
My body works fast.
Even though the food was right at the top end, It hit the panic button,
And everything in its system was like...
We need to make some space! Get this stuff out!
Out! We need to flush! There's an emergency!
We get it!
Flipping heck... And then...
The thing is normally I vomit, Josh poops, right?
And that's just the way we are! It's just the way we are.
But this was the case, I can't even vomit! I didn't even vomit.
We're both... sharing a hotel room, just on like relays to the toilet. All night.
I'll be honest, I didn't even make it back to the hotel.
I had to stop at a random hotel I spied on the way to home!
And I was like, it's either on the street or in this hotel, So just popping in here!
I remember just Josh just going in... Straight into the lobby, public toilet.
Josh going in, and we're like, I'm so sorry for what is about to happen...
Well, cheers, guys! Rainbow cake!
Let's hope we don't get diarrhea!
Interesting.
This tastes like birthday cake to me.
I like it! Okay!
I was about to say it's much less like nice texture.
It feels like they're making up for how dry the cake is by just putting hella layers of cream.
Yeah to me it's style over substance, isn't it?
I think that's the worst we’ve tried so far.
Really?
Yeah, it is.
The coffee cake was my least favourite I think.
Okay.
Oh, yeah...
Cos this has nostalgia.
All right chocolate beetroot cake. Should we do it?
Look how thick and gooey that is! I guess that's the beetroot.
You could not accuse this one of being dry, very gooey feeling. It looks like brownie.
Yeah, it does!
I’m not sure about this one actually.
But I do think beetroot tastes like mud.
Yeah, I don't really like it. It’s soily.
I want some tea to wash that down.
I’m not an enormous fan.
Put it this way, I preferred the banana bread.
Lemon drizzle cake.
Lemon drizzle cake is a favourite in my family.
So that's why you guys make such good lemon drizzle cake.
Just the thought of eating any more cake is making me...
That is literally the smallest slice of cake I've ever seen in my life.
Ollie! Which one did you overdo it on?
Have some more tea.
Yeah, that ones destroyed you.
You never feel well after eating one of them. Yeah the cupcake. That’s a bad idea.
Lemon cake is just nice, isn't it?
It's very good, it's just nowhere as good as Lizzie's.
Mine is better. But it is good.
For the final cake guys.
Oh, it's in the special box!
I went to this bakery recently, noticed they had something I’d never tried before.
I don't know if you guys are going to know this or not, Don't want to get your hopes up too much, it's a bit of a curveball.
It's Michelin star cake, the greatest...
Eccle cakes! I think it’s Eccles cakes actually.
They remind me of my grandparents.
Why?
Because my grandparents are northern.
And I think it’s a northern thing. Right? Oh, so they have Eccles cakes? I see!
Sorry, I’m so disappointed.
You’re not gonna like these cos they are mainly raisins.
Oh, it’s right up Ollie’s alley!
There you go! Get behind me satan!
Have one, just have it. You could've got...
Josh, you could have got anything from the Michelin star... There you go.
It's the only cake that they had!
Where did you go?
And you've never tried Eccles cakes?
No!
Now does this actually classify as a cake, cos...
I don't want to call it a cake but it is a cake.
That's the question, does having cake in the name make it a cake?
Urinal cakes are not cakes.
Their packaging would disagree with you.
I think there is actually an answer to this, right?
Oh, what's the answer?
I think cakes go stale like dry, and biscuits go soft.
I'm just gonna say this looks more like a pie than a cake.
Looks like a kidney stone.
Yeah, it's like pastry...
Don't take a huge bite because they're quite strong in flavour.
It's really hard!
Guys, this is a raisinpocalypse.
I think there's like an entire farm of raisins. Look at that, Is that just raisins?
A farm of raisins Ollie, do you know where raisins come from?
You don’t dig them up like potatoes.
No, they live in little huts…
Oh my gosh, it's like so solid!
What on earth have I done to that?
It doesn't look super good, now you look at it.
So is this like some kind of summertime mince pie?
I don't know that it's seasonal but I think it's similarish to mince pie.
Let’s go for this.
Oh, it's very heavy but I like that.
Yeah, that's Eccles. That's nice. That's nice!
Tastes very British, kind of fruit cakey.
It's definitely stronger than a mince pie.
That's strong.
I don't think there's anything less strong than that in the world.
Tell you what,
Quite like it.
It's good. That is quite nice.
I think that’s quite British as well.
This is like my grandparents. They'll be like yeah of course it’s an Eccles cake.
That has been a little journey through British tea and cakes.
Quite an institution. Thank you very much for being our resident cake expert and walking us through that Jenny.
You're very welcome, this is a nice pleasant episode!
It wasn’t like come and drink some onion water.
Last up we have pig brain cake.
Maybe next time we should do best ice creams.
We'll work our way through British sweet things you can have with a cup of tea.
All right well guys.
We'll see you jolly soon.
See you later.
Bye!
Hi guys, Ollie here.
I've got a reason to be jolly today!
And it is Jenny's Instagram, @parentsdictionary. It's incredible.
Jenny, I set up a plug at the end of the episode! Got it in there!
Here's your plug, go follow @parentsdictionary on Instagram!
See you jolly soon!
Said it twice in an episode! I'm killing it!