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*Classic Domics Music and Intro*
*snap*
Hey everyone, sorry I haven't been around this month
No, I didn't quit Youtube and yes, I did actually open a board game cafe in Mississauga
with the help of my friends and family and it's called GG Gaming Café!
(with the exclamation because that's how excited we are.)
Please come by and check it out if you're in the area
I can't guarantee that I'm always there, but if you do catch me feel free to say hello!
Anyway, this is a little fiasco that happened recently
some of you might know about this incident because I archived a bit of it on Twitter
But this is the whole story.
A few weeks ago, John and I were at the office late one night
and by night I mean 5:30 a.m. (. _ .)
I wanted to head back home to fool myself into thinking that it wasn't that late if I came home before sunrise
We drove into the parking garage of my building and headed down into the residential parking
Which is one level below visitors parking
and is separated by a door that can only be opened with a remote control
So tell me how this white Mercedes from Ohio is parked in my spot
how is this WHITE MERCEDES parked in my god damn spot
This has never happened to me before but it was pretty troublesome to have to deal with it this late at night
when all I wanted to do was just rest easy on my comfy bed.
So I circled back, headed up and out of my building complex, and back in to talk to the guard
Hey ummm *tsk*（ミ￣ー￣ミ）
Someone's parked in my spot...
The dude was really cool and understanding about it
He gave me a visitor's parking pass for the night and the number to call to report the perpetrator
I pulled back in and in front of my building and called the number
Hi. I live in (insert Dom's address)
and someone's parked in my spot.
The woman was also quite helpful.
Asked me if I had the necessary info to prove that the parking spot belonged to me
I told her that I'd have to head up to my unit to get it first and that I'd have to call her back
So we drove back in parked in [the] visitors [parking lot], went up to my unit, and found my documents.
To prevent the risk of embarrassing myself with an unintended fake call,
John and I went back down to make sure the car–which wasn't even from this country– was still there,
which it was.
So I called the number again, told the woman I got the documents.
She told me that unfortunately all dispatch were off duty at 6 a.m., and they wouldn't be available until 7
It was past 6.
Now I was pretty tired and I figured well,
I do have a spot to park in for the night
And I guess I shouldn't stress over this if I don't need to.
Then I remember that for my birthday my friend got me this book,
"You drive like an asshole and your parking sucks, too."
Basically, a book of tear out letters that you can passive-aggressively leave on people's cars
to let him know that you're upset over whatever reason is indicated on the note
I remember leaving it in my glove compartment, and if there was an opportunity to use one, this was it.
Unfortunately, and weirdly enough, there wasn't one for someone who stole your designated parking spot
However, the very first one happened to be, "Dear Asshole in the Gorgeous White Mercedes S-class."
And the vehicle in my spot was indeed a gorgeous white Mercedes S-class.
So I tore it out, left it on their windshield, and headed back up to my suite.
In hindsight, maybe I should have added an extra blurb to say that they weren't allowed to park there,
but it was 6 a.m. and my thought process was a bit muddled.
Now the question was,
"Do I wait an hour for dispatch to get back on duty, or do I–"
(-_-) zzz
Huh?
It was the next day.
Or, rather it was technically a few hours later,
but the way I put it, tomorrow doesn't arrive for me until I wake up.
I went down to the garage.
Empty.
Makes sense.
I mean, whether or not this person parked in my spot by mistake or they knew they weren't supposed to be there,
They surely would have tried to leave before someone noticed.
I wasn't sure when they parked in my spot, but if it was any time past midnight,
They probably thought, "Well, it's a work night, and if no one's parked here right now,
surely no one will be parked here until I leave early in the morning."
Sadly for me, I'm a night owl, and I don't follow that norm.
Sometimes I come home at 5:00 p.m.
Sometimes I come home at 5:00 a.m.
And after going through that day, it was indeed another 5 a.m. night.
Or I guess, morning.
You can tell by these patterns that I'm not the type to ever know what day of the week it is.
Once again John and I drove home from the office at around 5 a.m.
And as we drove down to my garage and around the corner I thought,
"Surely, I won't see a white Mercedes there.
Surely, they wouldn't Park in my spot again, right?" –Well...
This wouldn't be a good story if they didn't.
"White Mercedes from Ohio, why have you chosen me, and why is the note I left you still on your windshield???
Wait a minute. There's–there's something written on this."
They replied.
I don't know what this was–it looks like they were trying to write in ketchup
and immediately gave up. Like, in the middle of it he realized, "Oh shoot!
That's right! A-a PEN, yeah. That's–that's what you're supposed to write with. Why didn't I think of it before?"
"My humblest apologies
As I am but a simple man of little means.
The car is a small gift to myself after decades of long hours and sleepless nights.
My apologies for any wrong which I may have committed.
Signed, your lowly slave, Naeem."
Now this was his reply to my tear-off note, which simply made fun of his owning a nice car.
And I thought that what he wrote had some hint of sincerity and remorse until that last part,
Which instantly made it lose all merit.
And it seems he didn't at all suspect that the person who left this note is the one who owned the parking spot
Because he's here a second night.
"What the heck is this?"
Ok they've expended their benefit of the doubt card. They were doing this on purpose
Let me remind you about the security you have to get through to get in here.
There's the main gate where if you're a resident you can open the lane gate with your remote.
And if you're a guest you'd have to go through the guard who will ask you who you're visiting,
They'll call them, and upon affirmation they will open the gate
and let you through with a parking pass for the visitors parking in the respective building.
After that you enter the parking garage doors of the building
which the guard will open for you if they let you in
and after that is another garage door to the residential parking which I previously mentioned
Both nights when we arrived there was ample parking space in visitors
This person definitely tailgated someone and snuck in.
You can't just accidentally stroll in here two nights in a row.
I went back up, told the guard the same guy's in my spot again
He empathized with my lust for vengeance and we had a quick laugh about it.
And once again, I called the dispatch number
–"Hi, I live in (insert Dom's address)"
And someone 's parked in my spot."
–"Wait a minute aren't you the one that called last night?"
–"Uh, yeah, that-that was me. It's the same guy parked in my spot.. again."
–"Why didn't you call back yesterday?"
I explained that I wasn't a normal human and that I passed out after calling her the first night
She proceeded to be helpful and immediately sent out someone to our aid.
They arrived 15 minutes later and asked what our situation was.
I explained the somewhat amusing shenanigans of the past two nights
and like the gate guard and dispatch operator, he shared my desire for justice
Now how did he put it?
Ah, yes.
F*** this guy.
He asked if we wanted to tow him or just get him ticketed
and obviously we asked for a tow
Unfortunately, we've come across the same time constraint as the previous night;
all [of the] tows were getting off the road since we were approaching 6 a.m.
He was able to ticket him then, but if we wanted the tow we'd have to wait until 7:00 again.
I thought, "Hell yeah, we're waiting this time!"
We thank the guy for coming out, and we head back upstairs to wait for an hour
During that, we had a lot of time to think about it.
But as we approached 7 a.m.. I thought,
"This needs to be a trilogy. I have to give him a fighting chance.
I want there to be a third night,"
so I decided not to call for the tow and instead leave him another note on his windshield
Here's what I wrote,
"I express great empathy for a man who can achieve such grandeur in our current world of painful endeavors.
I accept your humble apology, and wish you the safest of travels returning to your foreign land.
I release you. You are now a free man (((((:
The 7th Hokage, Naruto.
PS. Hope to hear back from you soon."
I woke up the next morning expecting a reply to the note,
but all I found was a McDonald's bag of trash *Feels the disgust
and I had no choice but to assume it belonged to him
because he had one in his car the first night
Call me weird but I took his trash and looked inside to investigate
And take a peek into what kind of person this was.
I found many fast-food receipts along with the buns of the burgers that he ate
I guess he's trying to cut down on the carbs.
One of the McDonald's receipts was dated April 4th 3:25 a.m.
Which was the first night he parked in my spot
Which made sense because it was raining that night and his car was still dripping wet when we arrived
meaning he didn't come that much sooner than we did
The last thing I found that really bothered me
was a parking pass for a different condo building a few nights prior.
So you're telling me he was able to get a visitor's parking there, but not here?
Well I hope paying $45 to park in my spot was worth it because that's how much his ticket was
Once again we went through a normal day
and seeing as our buddy here was the type to go out and eat food at 3 a.m.
We figured we should head home a little later than that to see if he'd steal my spot a third time
But not too late that the tow trucks would be off the road
We headed back at around 4:30 and like our friend Naeem,
my parking spot was free.
I figured if he was back he might have attempted to park in another vacant spot,
so we drove around the residential garage in search of the culprit
I had to assume responsibility of protecting my building of this disease, but alas he was nowhere to be found
He's moved on to bigger and better parking spots
That..
Probably also don't belong to him
But who knows, he might return someday.
If he was here to visit someone he might be back to visit them again
And if he decides to park in my spot then
Well, I sure hope he can get a ride to the pound
Hey guys, I just want to take a moment to say that you're awesome.
Or better yet, you're a badass.
You probably don't hear that about yourself often, or you might not feel appreciated enough by others
But I think the first step towards being a badass is learning to appreciate yourself.
You guys see the comedic content I make and you might find it hard to believe that I have my slumps, too.
And so I recommend this book by Jen Sincero
And hopefully you'll get woke from the slump you may be in
and learn how to stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life.
(Subtitles made by die-hard Domics fans)
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